Should I be concerned about this? ?

Question

sorry, might be a bit of a long one...

so in a nutshell, i've been with my boyfriend around a year, two years ago him and a friend of mine were pretty close friends, and there was some interest of something more, but nothing happened. This was before I knew either of them..

I then met the girl through some friends, and him via a different social group. After we'd been together around six months - a year since him and this girl had grown appart, she suddenly announced to many of my close friends that he was "Her best friend, and she was really sad she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore - because of me"

I then found out he was accepting invitations to go over her house for lunch, was complaining at her about not being in her "top friends" on social networking websites, and then put her in his - well above many of his very close male friends.

my boyfriend and I always nose through eachother computors to look for new music, convos, photos etc. I was having a look last night and was browsing through the conversations he'd saved- we always do, not through lack of trust, but simply to see if theres anything interesting happening., as he asked what I was doing, it was purely a coincidence I was looking at his conversation with her.

He took the laptop from me and said "i've nothing to hide, but thers still doubts you might read something and take it the wrong way" he then deleted every saved conversation.

after spending a few hours with him this evening, we'd led on the settee and watched a film, then he suddenly asked would I please mind going home...

Answer 1

Talk with your boyfriend about it, about how you're feelign what you're fearing adn what you need clarification of. You have concerns, having concerns is legitamate, not being able to openly talk about your concerns can cause problems.  

Answer 2

Here is advice from an older woman (45).  He is wanting his cake and eating it too.  I smell game playing between the other girl and your boyfriend and you as their pawn.  I would distance myself without a break up in person.  Just be seen with an attractive male friend. Do things with your other friends.  Be too busy to give him the time of day.  If he asks what's wrong, just tell him when he made you leave because he got angry for finding about his deceptions and you have your pride and dignity.  Tell you want a man not a game playing little boy.  If you see the other girl, just casually tell her she can have your used leftovers.   Hope this helps because you deserve dignity and respect.  Life is too short for jerks of the world.

Answer 3

This isn't a question it's an essay.

Answer 4

I would be concerned.  Even though he says he has nothing to hide, his reaction says it all.  Talk to him, tell him he is reacting inappropriately and you are concerned.  I’m usually a very trusting person, but if my boyfriend reacted like that, I would begin to have trust issues.  You definitely need to talk to him and find out what’s going on, especially the way he reacted when you were looking at their convo.  His reaction is not okay.  His hanging out with her all the time could just be fine, but regarding their past, you have a right to be worried.  Good luck, I hope you’re just being paranoid and nothing is going on, but if he’s cheating on you, dump the bum!

Answer 5

sounds complicated, I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and show him what you wrote so he can understand what you are feeling as he may not understand how much it is getting to you. Talking is the best thing you can do, don't shout let him say his side of the story as then he will then let you talk more as well. Listen to him; it takes two in a relationship.

Good Luck, listen, talk and be honest with each other :-)

Answer 6

and my answer will be short !

1. THE RELATION is broken he is in  love with your friend

2 He had relations with you so he could have contact with her

My advice stop "Getting in the way" sorry girl but you need to end this youre just in a way ...Well I understand your feeling theres nothing more demoralising than finding out that youre the unwanted girlfriend sorry !

but thats life finish the relation with him thats the only thing you can do !

Answer 7

I dont know whether or not that you should be concerned but I know that I would be, given what you have said it seems a little odd that he would react like that. I have no real answer for you but i would be suspicious myself, under these circumstances.

Answer 8

I consider this being a bit paranoid.

Answer 9

Yes definitely be concerned! If he had nothing to hide he never would have deleted that stuff! Plus the whole thing just seems shady anyway..

Answer 10

Get a boyfriend who doesn't hang out with girls.  He's probabley her f*****k buddy anyway.    If he asked you to leave he doesnt really care that much about you anyway.   I would forget about him.