Should I get professional help?

Question

I have always been very shy, and find it hard to 'perform' in front of other people.I have just started going out with my first girlfriend, and we are so shy with each we don't barely move the whole time we're together. We are both used to being with more extrovert people who take control of the situation. She even has the opinion of herself that she is quite extrovert and bubbly but when alone together she was just as bad as me and would not take the lead, so we're getting nowhere!!

We text each other saying how much we want to be together etc, and I have strong feelings, but then we get together and we just sit there like a pair of bookends. Twice now we've met up and spent several hours together knowing that we wanted to kiss each other, and couldn't bring ourselves to do it. Even when we laughed and admitted the situation to each other we still couldn't do it, until it was literally time to go, and I had to run so gave her a quick kiss. But I was petfrified to the point of it being depressing and humiliating.

The thing is what happens about sleeping together? I am ready to in a way, I have plenty of desire when I am alone. But I have really really bad issues about my body and doing anything silly or wrong that I genuinely cannot imagine it happening. It's not a case of just being a little shy and with a bit of encouragement I'll get over it, I really can't do this. But I want to.

I don't know how long this can carry on before she thinks I'm annoying or a lost cause and leaves me, or if I should leave her to save myself the stress, because I can only cope being alone.

Answer 1

sweetie you both need to relax an just go with the flow that life takes you on start to ask questions make a list of questions that you want to ask about her like where she grew up what type of animals she likes what are her political views on topics ...spark up a convo... then you guys will break the wall of awkward silence and choked up nervousness an will be more comfortable with each other to express your personalities with each other freely you guys have been told what to do your whole lives because you said that you guys have all ways been passive an hung out with aggressive friends well its about time you guys both get aggressive =) Be more confident don't be afraid to talk she is all ready there at a place on a date with you ...there is nothing else to be afraid of you have all ready gone that far now spice things up a bit an make things more interesting go on dates where you guys will have to talk and work together like horse back riding mountain climbing walking on the beach ! don't be afraid to open your self up to her if you really like her don't be afraid to show her you =)

good luck hope everything works out

Answer 2

You can use two things:

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

for your self worth issues

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

to learn how to be in and make a good relationship

Answer 3

you need help, but I don't think you need professional help. Maybe a life coach or relationship coach.... something like that

Answer 4

it sounds like you might have social anxiety disorder. at least you can admit the feelings you two have. i say give it a little more time especially if you two have just started dating. you dont always need to talk though, i like just sitting around with the people i love and just sharing a moment :)  

Answer 5

There is no panic.   Why rush?