Should I go visit him?

Question

My dad was in a very bad car accident last night. I don't know if I should go visit him in the hospital are not. I don't really feel like going into detail on here, but my dad treated me like sh*t since I was 10. He is always saying rude comments to me and saying rude things about my daughter and my husband. He's just very rude to me overall. He doesn't treat any of my sisters like this, so I honestly think he hates me. He didn't even come visit us when my daughter was in the hospital. If he wants to hate me, that's one thing, but why hate my innocent daughter just because she's *my* daughter. So I don't think he deserves me to go, and quite frankly I dont think he wants me to go, but should I? I mean, after all he is my father, no matter how bad he treats me.

Answer 1

Your dad sounds like a stinker.

Remember when Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive someone seven times and Jesus said, nope, 70 times seven times!

Forgive your dad. Let the past go. You go be with him and show him love. If he hates you and insists you leave, do so. Then forgive him again.

Answer 2

well by what you said, if i were you i wouldn't want to go visit him. since he never seemed to care about anything, but just think about the situation and he happened to die the next day. and you would always feel terrible that you never visited him even if he wasn't the nicest person.

i think you should go.

Answer 3

I would go for a very short visit without my child. Stay only as long as he's not rude to you and then leave. You will feel better for having done this if something really bad happens and he doesn't make it. If he is rude or cold to you, though, then just say bye and leave.

Some parents target only one of their children for poor treatment. I am sorry you are that child, where your father is concerned, but it is actually a common failure of character with some parents. : /

Answer 4

Don't bother.  He'll just make you feel miserable and regret going.

Answer 5

Ask youself this one question....Will you regret it later if you don't. My guess is yes since you had to come here to ask.  You teach by setting the example. Do your duty but just don't go above and beyond.  

Answer 6

I know the feeling of being "that child" but it was my mom who treated me this way...I say go to the hospital. It may not change the way he treats you, but in YOUR HEART you will know you tried. You never know....this may be the "wake up call" he needed to see that he should change his ways when it comes to you. Are your other siblings going to see him? You also don't want to be the one who DIDN'T go so he has more reason to treat you poorly. Go alone and don't stay long.

Answer 7

This is a hard question to answer... I don't know if I would want to see my father either but let me ask you this...  If he passed away today would you regret not going to see him in the hospital?

  

Answer 8

see him only if you wanted to

Answer 9

As hard as it is, go see him.  He may not deserve it or seem like he doesn't want you there, but you are the mature adult (he's obviously not).  Perhaps this will speak volumes to him and change his tune.  Even the Bible states that showing kindness towards those who hate you is like heaping hot coals on that person's head because you are showing unbelievable kindness that they don't understand.  As my dad used to say, Kill 'em with kindness.  Best wishes and I hope that you are doing well :)

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your situation.  It sounds like a pretty tough one. From  the outside looking it, I can give you some unbiased advice.

I would go see him.  I say that because no matter what he has done to you (or not done for you), he IS still your dad.  He may be a jerk, he may be uncaring, but YOU can be the bigger person in this situation.

The Bible says in Exodus 20:12~ "Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."  

It also says in <Mathew 19:19~ "Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

Sometimes fathers and mothers aren't worthy of our honor (in our opinion).  I know; I have one.  But we are still commanded to honor them.   We don't have the authority to decide if they are worthy.  We only have the comandment to honor them. I don't know if you are the type to care what the Bible says but if you are, this alone should be enough to make up your mind.

If you don't base what you do on what the Bible says, then just the fact that you would be acting like the mature adult you are (I assume) should be enough to persuade you.  Some day your father is not going to be here.  You don't want to have any regrets to add to the hurt you have already suffered from him.  Regrets would just make your healing that much worse.  

I had to make a decision very similar to yours and I chose to forgive my father and it has helped me to be a happier person because I am not consumed with anger and hurt.  I let go of the right to be mad and instead, placed the ball in his court.  Now, HE has to live with whatever he decides.  I have made the right choice.  I pray you find your right choice.

Answer 11

Well, its up to you.  But God forbid something happens, how would you feel if you never got the chance to go see him?  In the end its your decision, but I think I would go.  Show him that your the bigger person.  Good luck.. Hope everything turns out ok.

Answer 12

I would call him, and ask how he is doing.

Answer 13

You obviously are very torn about this.  

If you go, go to make yourself feel better.  Do it for reasons for your own satisfaction, not his.  He doesn't deserve it.  

BUT if there is any chance that he may die or otherwise be incapacitated, ask yourself the question: 'will I be at peace with myself if he dies and I did not go see him or will I regret it?"  

Answer 14

It sounds like you are torn so I would say just go.  You don't have to stay long, and don't bring your daughter.  Just drop in, see how he is doing, sit for a minute and leave.  If he is rude while you are there, then don't stay.  You will know afterward that you are the bigger person!