Should I marry a friend?

Question

I'm tired of being single and I've never had good relationships. The men were always jerks or didn't want to commit. I have a long time friend that I care a lot about and I know he cares for me. We are very open and honest with each other and he's always wanted to date me but I didn't want to ruin the friendship. He's not 100% of what I would want in a husband but I love him and he's a real good person. We've had s*x before so I'm not worried about the physical connection. My question is will it be wrong to marry him if I love him but am not in love with him?

Answer 1

what would be the point to marry him if you are not in love with him? In the end if you get divorce than you will have no friendship. What id someone else comes along for you while you are married and you want to be with them you can't. Just wait and be patient and just keep your friend as your friend. You do not want to regret this in the end.

Answer 2

Gee gal you need a shake. What kind of life are you living ? You don't say what age you are but you need to start treating yourself better and expecting better from the men in your life. Forget about marrying a friend, its the act of a desperate woman who needs to do a bit of raising her expectations.                                                               Get hobbies, join a club, get fit, get educated, get friends, go out, get a makeover, get a new job, volunteer, move house, travel, join a dating agency.                                                                              Whatever you do, don't settle for less than you deserve.                                                                                                       .the best in love and life..                                                  go shake a tail feather gal....

Answer 3

If you and he are already open and honest with one another and the physical chemistry is there, why do you think marriage would automatically end the friendship?

In other words, why are you still looking for Mr. Right when he is already right there?

Answer 4

If he is your friend then you should want him to be completely joyous in his marriage... If you know already that you don't love him they way a wife is supposed to love her husband than don't ruin his or your life...If you can, than a friend is the best person to marry...because if your not friends as well as a married couple then you will end up like some of the other people on here wondering why they were cheated on.

Answer 5

Unless you are living in a romance novel, marrying a friend will probably not work out.  What happens when one of you really falls in love?  It will happen, you know, and chances are it will not be with each other.

Answer 6

I think you are being selfish. Why would you marry this man you say you love (as friends only), and take away his opportunity to find true love.

You should be more patient and let your friend find someone that deserves him.

I have a friend like this too. There was never anything between us, even though he wanted to be with me. I hate seeing him alone, but I would never consider being with him just to make myself feel better.

Please don't be a good friend and pretend that you love this guy. It would only make you hate each other eventually. Let him find a woman that will really love him.

Answer 7

I suppose it depends what you're looking for.

Personally, this describes almost exactly the man I'm involved with right now. We were close friends and had been intimate before and though we were scared of ruining the friendship we decided to take a risk, and so far we're both very pleased with that decision.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Well, no one willl be 100% of what you want in a husband.  He cares for you and is very open and honest, but you didn't want to date because you'd "ruin the friendship?"  Sounds like the best man you've ever had the chance to be with.  Not every marriage is heart-pounding lovey-dovey feelings 24-7.  Doesn't sound wrong at all, unless you really don't want to marry him.

Answer 9

In my opinion, you should marry your best friend. the physical part of the relationship when you are 70 or so won't be nearly as important as the love and admiration of having your very best friend with you every day. Imagine your "friend" telling you they were getting married to someone else ... would it break your heart? Could you live without them in your life (ie: if their new wife didn't like them hanging out with their single female friend) ...  

Answer 10

if you are not really in love with him then i advice you not to. your just going to be cheating him and your own self.. and sory to say but sleeping with a good friend is just so... pathetic!

Answer 11

Yes, I feel it would be wrong to marry him because there is no guarantee that you will ever really be in love with him and I think it would be unfair to him.  Being single is NOT the end of the world.  You should enjoy it and not look for someone to enter your life...its usually when your not looking that love comes your way.  G'luck

Answer 12

what if you do marry him and then you fall in love with someone else you meet, what would that do to him and the relationship?

i would say that it's best to stay alone then to be in the wrong marriage

Answer 13

if you have to ask "should I marry...." then no, don't, stay friends until you want to marry him, you are soo in love with him or whoever, that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.  Good luck, your time is coming

Answer 14

I married my best friend and the passion fizzled.  I would recommend keeping him as a friend.  

Answer 15

The most important is that he loves you like crazy.  So many times, when you love them, they don't love you back.

Only you can decide this one.

Answer 16

marrying a friend, that's ok, you shouldn't marry your enemy but, don't marry someone you are not in love with...it won't last and you might just loose your only friend!

Answer 17

I'm one of those live and let live people -  I would never do what you're considering, but if it works for you than wonderful.

I do feel that it would be wrong of you to marry him under false pretenses though.  If you do decide you want to marry him so that you have companionship, make sure he knows how you feel about him.  I think it would be horribly immoral of you to allow him to think you have feelings for him that you don't.   Spell it out, lay it all on the line, and if he wants to marry you anyway, good for the two of you.

Hope everything works out - good luck!

Answer 18

Stay single girl.

If you want a more permanent relationship shack up with him until you tire of it.

Then after a few months you will be free to reassess your needs and desires  and to make the appropriate changes.