Should I tell the father?

Question

I just find out I'm pregnant, and I'm going to carry on my pregnancy in Japan- the country I was from to dodge my parents, they're being very judgemental. My baby's father- my ex and I don't talk anymore, I don't need any child support either, should I still tell him? Does it consider kidnaping if I carry on with my pregnancy and give birth there without baby's father knowing him exist?

Answer 1

He could stop you from leaving if he takes legal action and asks for a DNA test. He does have a right to know if he is the father unless you think he may be abusive in some way or if he has a drug or alcohol problem. It's always fair to let the father know. What happens when your child asks who his daddy is?

Answer 2

This is not kidnapping, there is no kid - you are pregnant. Tell him, what will it hurt? Maybe you will start talking again, maybe you won't. At least you won't have to wonder. Let the decision be his.

Answer 3

its your choice..if you don't want to fight with him over the baby don't tell him...if you don't want his money put father unknown on the birth certificate...its not kidnapping if you take your pregnancy else where...all in all its your choice what you do... i wouldn't tell him but i would keep pictures and stuff like that for the baby when he/she gets older just in case they wanna know who their father is...good luck with your decision...just remember its your baby and your life...good luck Hun and congratulations

Answer 4

Well you are a grown adult and you can carry the baby and deliver without the baby father knowing. But you will live with the guilt of your baby father not knowing. Whether or not you want to be with him. He is still the father whether you like it or not. He is allowed to know but you dont have to tell him. It is your choice. But your child will ask where his/her features come from one day. And you will have to tell the truth. I mean you two dont have to be together to raise a child correctly. Remember it is not about you it is about your baby. You must think about the most important thing in your life and it's future!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

It is wrong not to tell the father. If he was good enough to have s*x with he should be good enough to parent your child.

The  person you will be hurting the most is your child.

Check out the facts-

http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts...

Answer 6

It is not illigal, but I think you should at least let him know. Then let him make a decision on whether he cares or not. It is his choice not your to make. Put yourself in his shoes. Let him know you don't want anything, but the baby might eventually. I don't know my real dad, and would love to. He doesn't care though, so I know that is his choice and I don't have to go looking for him...

Robin

Answer 7

yes u should tell him. how would he feel if he had a child he didnt no about? no its not considered kidnaping unless u both look after the child and u run away with her without any1 knowing. but its best to tell him

Answer 8

i would you never know if something weird will happen

Answer 9

yes! you should he deserve's to know and dont do it for you do it for the baby because when the baby grows up she/he would want to know who's there father....

Answer 10

You need to do the right thing.  While you alone hold the right to choose whether to continue on with a pregnancy or not, you do not hold the only rights to deciding on adoption.  I know you are thinking about open adoption from previous questions.  What if someone determined how open the adoption of your child was without you.  In fact, what if they had all the contact and you received none.  Wouldn't you be angry and upset?

What if your child was placed for adoption and you wanted to parent?  He deserves that same opportunity that you are being given.

This is not just your baby and your baby only.  Do the right thing and tell the father.

Answer 11

Did you even think may be he found out hes going be a father- he come back so***happy and want be with you and the loving baby.But if hes a jerk  care lest ....Don,t tell him.

Answer 12

Only tell him if you want to I guess

Its not consider kidnapping thats stupid lol

~Sarah

Answer 13

Its up to you but I think a father has just as much right to know as you, after all this is his baby too. You would also be depriving your child of a father. You xould probably do with the help, if not financially then moral support as it will be difficult for you.

Give him the option to be a father. You could live to regret it if you dont

God luck

Answer 14

he needs ti know its not just your baby

Answer 15

There is no law that I am aware of that would prohibit you doing what you are thinking of doing.  However, if you feel that the father would be a positive factor in the life of his child, you should tell him and at least hear his response to the news.

You would not be kidnapping your own child and currently, he has no responsibility to support the child or you because he is NOT married to you. He has no legal rights to the child at this point.  Your parents are upset that they are having a grandchild without a father to help raise it and they are probably very worried, sick about your personal safety and well being.  When the child is born, their attitude may change toward the situation.  You need to reconsider leaving the place where you have relatives who might be of some future help to you and in the raising of your child.

Answer 16

Wow, not always an easy question to answer.  There are a few things to consider.

1) Do you think the father will even take part in the kids life?

2) Will your child be upset with you for not telling him and than your child wants to contact there dad....what do you then?

I think the biggest thing you should consider is will the father be apart of the childs life.  If a father goes in and out of a kids life it's very upsetting to a  child causing emotional damage.

I think every person has the right to know if they are going to be a dad or not. If he is abusive or will cause emotional problems for you or the child than its ok not to tell him.

Good luck

Answer 17

Straight up he is the father and has the Right to know he has a child. The child also has the right to know his dad..

Answer 18

the question lies in your heart and with your attorney.  i did not tell the father.

Answer 19

I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me, but I wouldn't tell him (at least not now) unless I knew for certain that he'd react positively.  If he doesn't want you to go to Japan, there's nothing he can do legally, it's not a kidnapping, but he could team up with your parents to make your life that much more miserable.  

If the baby's staying in Japan then he probably won't have the opportunity to be part of his or her life anyway.  If the baby is coming back to the states at some point, then he should know, but maybe wait until the situation's cooled off some before you tell him.

Answer 20

You have a right to child support from the father, possibly alimony.  You should tell him.  If you plan on putting the child up for adoption, then you need his permission.

Answer 21

he has the right to know ... you should tell him ... if you are planning on keeping the baby than he should support the baby or sign away his legal right to the baby.  Also you need to tell your parents your decision you will need their support.

Answer 22

gurl u betta tell him because a baby need a father in there life