Should i get counciling?

Question

i was molested as a child by a family member.. should i seek a councilor now that i am in my 40's? i am not an addict, self destructive or controlling and i have a great family and a good job working with the mentally disabled. It has been said i have unresolved issues with men but i am not sure as i have only been with one man since my divorce and we have been together for 10 years. what do i do? let it go or try to see if i need the help

Answer 1

it would never hurt to see a psychiatrist or psychologist about your problem. The fact that you have had 2 long term relationships with men, and im taking it you had o problems in the area of s*x , that means you are fine. However, if you have intimacy issues then thats probably a direct effect from the molestation which needs to be addressed.  

Answer 2

Unless you are having any notable problems like symptoms of depression, family problems, or something of that nature I wouldn't worry about it. If you're still unsure, I would go for an evaluation with a therapist and get their personal opinion. It sounds like you've done a good job at moving on though. I hope this helped with your problem.  

Answer 3

Well,  a little help never hurt anyone.  With therapy, I think it can truly improve a person and you may find that you have no use for it but no fear in trying it out :)

Answer 4

Sister, you work with the mentally challenged which means as long as you are in that environment you will always think about it.  You will have to separate what you went through from your work environment and then decided if you need counseling.  Is there anything in your personal life that indicates that you do..............thoughts, suspicious nature?  Or do you feel guilty and kinda inadequate because your new beau doesn't know and you feel the need to explain so he can understand you?

Having been through it myself I know that counseling does not heal that it only subsides it.  Accepting Christ into my life and studying the Word delivered me from it meaning I don't think about it anymore and I don't suffer from it's affects anymore.

Answer 5

Well do you think that counseling will hep or cause more damage?I'm taking it that you were molested by a man.You might have unresolved issues with men.Maybe your divorce is also affecting you too.How have you been affected by all of this?I have a better suggestion.Pray to GOD about this.GOD is the only one who can solve this.If you think that counseling will help then it's your choice.It's terrible that you were molested and by a family member at that!Have you resolved issues with the family member that molested you?Do you still keep in contact with this family member?If you think that this is affecting you then maybe you should go seek counseling for this.Do you still keep having thoughts about this or reoccurring dreams about it?If you want to go to counseling and think that it will help then do what is best for you.I hope that I helped you or gave you some helpful advice in some way or another.GOD BLESS you!

Answer 6

If you are not depressed and this issue isn't affecting your relationship with your current partner, then I wouldn't worry about it. On the other hand if you feel the need to let go of these feelings, a cognitive therapist is the way to go. They can really help you work through any issues that may affect how you deal with men in your life. It has been my experience that if we don't deal with a situation correctly it will come back later in our lives to haunt us so to speak.

Answer 7

Hi,

only go if it's something you feel you want to discuss and get some closure on but not if other people are telling you. Not everyone who has been abused wants counselling or professional help. It all depends with how you handle it I guess. One thing I will say is that sometimes opening old wounds may be destructive and things could seem to be going downhill before they get better again, afterall your unlikely to come out cheery and feeling better after talking about an incident which was traumatic for you so keep that in mind...it may help in teh long run but it could also bring you down too for a while.

You could always arrange an appointment with a counsellor and in the first appointment state that your not sure about counselling and explain why and ask them what they think...the first session is usually an assessment anyway and is the time that you and the counsellor decide weather you should work together.

Do what feels right for you!

best wishes

x

Answer 8

yup seek help MENTAL HELP

Answer 9

That is a great deal to go through as a kid.  If you are having problems in your current life because of it either with your sig other or with other things then I would say to try it out.  They can help.

Answer 10

It's my belief that everyone at some point in their life should see a counselor no matter what has happened in their life.  It's GREAT!!! I do think especially in your case if you believe there to be unresolved issues with what happened in your past and if that affects your  current relationship then why not try it out?  It won't hurt you but it could help you.

Whatever your choice, do what feels right internally.

Answer 11

hi sorry for what happened to you.i think yes you should talk to someone about it,that would be best for you

Answer 12

Don't go just because someone tells you.  Go for your own peace of mind, your comfort, and functionality.  If you get what you need when you need it, congratulations and good for you!!

Answer 13

If it has been said that you have unresolved issues with men, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to try a couple of sessions.

If you are experiencing denial, you may be hiding issues from yourself, and passing it off as something harmless. The fact that you have been through a divorce is a good enough reason alone to go to a few sessions.

It's not that you are "haunted" by this experience, but you may experience trust issues especially with the molester's gender. If you still find yourself thinking about these past experiences from time to time, I would recommend going to counseling to try and resolve it once and for all.

I have known people with similar situations that experience trust issues to the point where they only have few friends and never give anyone the benefit of the doubt. You don't have to be drug-addicted, destructive, controlling, etc to still be affected by your past experiences.