Should we have another baby now?

Question

My husband and I have a five year old (about to be 6), and we are starting to worry that the age gap is too big. Not to mention we both want another baby very bad and have for some time. The reason why we have been waiting is because I just received my B.S. degree and I haven't found a job yet. Obviously it will be difficult to find a job pregnant. We do need the money (like everyone), and are anxious to buy a house, but we do rent a nice house now.

Another issue is that we want our next two to be close together in age, so once we have the 2nd, we want to be able to have a 3rd. So I worry that if I don't already have a job before we have the second, I will end up putting it off for 5 years! (Of course I worry the same vice versa, if I wait to get a job and settled and all that it could be 5 years before we can have a baby)

I know this is long, but I would love some advise/ opinions from the moms out there. Anyone else go through this? My two biggest concerns are the age gap with my son and the employment issue. Thanks!

Answer 1

no he will get jealous and hurt him in ways dont

Answer 2

The age gap s definitely getting to a point where it is too big.  With 6 years between them one will be out of college when the other is still a sophomore in high school and they will miss out on a lot of bonding time together if you wait much longer.  Also you don't want their children to be to far apart so now is a good time to start for number 2 as long as you are financially able to do so.  But also consider this if you have a baby before you get a job you think you will wait 5 years to go back to work but what if you wait get a job have the babies and then do not want to go back to work?  If you feel it is time, then it is!

Answer 3

I have 4 kids...all girls

I was 19 with the first (it was a surprise) I was just heading off to college WHICH I put on hold..Then 3 years later I had baby #2 then 2.5 years later I had baby #3 the SURPRISE I had baby #4 18 months later.

Now they are 8,4,2, and 7 months old....I am a stay at home Mom and love it! We live off the one income which can be hard but I wouldnt have it any other way!

We have lived off the 1 income for 8 years and we bought our house 2 years ago...and we go on camping trips and to amusement type places and our kids have everything they need..So 1 income is do able..And my husband just took quite the pay drop switching to a job where he is happier..So in my eyes WORTH IT

I think you need to ask yourself..

Are you happy being a stay at home mom?

Are you going to be happy putting your career on hold for a few more years?

If you are then I say GO for it!

I am glad I didnt go to school now because my views have changed I dont want to do what I was going to go for now.

I have a friend who went through school for advertising and she hasnt found a job yet either..She has two boys 2 and 3 weeks old. BUT she hater being a stay at home Mom she is already itching to go back to work (she works at tim hortons) so its not something everyone likes..

You will make the right decision I am sure..

Answer 4

The most important things in life, in the end will be family!

Working, buying a house, new cars call all wait. Or don't even have to happen. As long as you can shelter your family, clothe, your family, feed your family, provide, and love that is what counts.

I would say go for!!! Have your next two babies...if you find work great...if not stay home with them enjoy the time while you can. Having a family is amazing...and each child is a blessing!

I am a mother of a 5 year girl 4 year girl and 4mo boy. I love it! I have put off my career to stay home and have children. We do give up things in life. but to us life is not about bling bling. We do good witht the money that we have we may not have tons of things but bigger is not always better

I love my family, and we provide and we make wonderful memories with what we can. We also rent and that is great. We have a beautiful house near a wonderful school, Will we ever buy one day...maybe? but right now for me my family is first. I wanted to have a big family and I now have it.

Each family has to make this hard choice...what is best for them. What is best for you may not be best for someone else. I hope you find your answere.

Also look at if you wait too long you may never have any more. Because of putting off over and over. Or age wont let you, or you just think its too late between baby 1 and next baby.Healthy reasons may stop you later down the road.

If you choose to wait you have to also know there may not be that chance later...you never know what will happen where you will be years down the road

I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK

Answer 5

As far as the employment goes... if you can afford for your husband to take over for a while when you are too pregnant to work, I'm sure things will work out just fine.  There is no "real" good time to have a baby.  You just have to decide to do it, if you can afford the care for yourself and the new little one, as well as the rest of the family.  You can adjust things as time goes by.

I think that the age gap shouldn't be a problem.  My first two are only 17 months apart, (both girls) and are just about best friends.  I waited 3 years to have another, twins, and then 3 years later, a little surprise came along.  They get along pretty good with each other.  

At 5, you can really get a kid excited about the new baby, and they can be a huge help with things, and have fun doing it.

Good luck to you!