Should we try to take custody?

Question

My wife came to me tonight and asked me if I would be willing to take custody of her brothers son.

Here is the situation. My brother-in-law is a Highschool drop out, and has dislexia reads at about the 2nd grade level. He wants to work and has had odd jobs here and there. His girlfriend and mother of his little boy is a loser drop out herself. She refuses to work insiting he needs to work to support the both of them. She is also an alcoholic and goes into depresiion with anger issues.

Tonight my brother-in-law was thrown in jail for beating the c**p out of her, and was charged with a felony this will hold up in court and I doubt will be reduced because the police witnessed him kicking her down a flight of stairs.

My wife and I are both college grads and have the means to support the child. We already have 3 of our own 9,5,and 11 months Chase the boy in question is 19 months.

Do we have an obligation to the family as we are the only ones capable of supporting the child to take custody. Or should we let the situation play out with the baby going to foster care.

What does this do to the relationship between my wife and her brother?

Do we atempt to adopt if neither parent can support the child?

Thanks in advance for any adivse I can get for this situation. If you need more details please ask. Also if you have a legal background a course of action would be very helpful.

Answer 1

yes i think you should take the baby!! don't let it go off into foster care. i mean imagine it was your child being put through that =[ i feel so bad for the baby...

Answer 2

This is definitely a tricky situation.  I would personally file for custody of the child, and later try to adopt if the baby's mother is unable to provide for the baby and is willing to allow you to adopt him.  I would highly recommend that if you do decide to take the child, to raise him as you did your own.  And have him talk to a counselor or psychologist right away.  I can't imagine what this little boy will grow up to be with all the turmoil he's endured in his 19 months of life.  And the psychologist/counselor may have strategies for you and the 19 month old that will help him cope with his gains and losses.

Answer 3

i think you should try to get custody. Save the poor child from harm. come to an agreenment with the childs parents. dont let the poor child suffer for something that is not their fault. If you think you can support this child and love the child then i say go for it. dont let the situation playout if you know you can take care of the child yourself. good luck with everything

Answer 4

You really need to ask yourself... can you handle another young child? How will it effect your other children, how do they feel about it? Are you willing to keep this child forever... as that could happen?

Honestly it seems like you would be able to do a great job in raising this child.... and with him being only 19 months old you avoid alot of the issues of taking in an older child and he will likely never remember none of this parents c**p.

You know, in most cases I would give a definite NO answer to this, but if you think you can handle it I would say go for it!

Answer 5

Please do take custody, if not out of love, out of mercy, cause the foster care systems can be incredibly damaging for children. You could give this child the opportunity for a much better life than his parents have.

Answer 6

It will be in the child's best interest to be raised by you guys than go into the system.  but know that in court you have to prove both parents are unfit.  they may be morally, but proving that legally is something else.  Wish u the best of luck.  but i think u should do the right thing and take the kid.

Answer 7

Sounds like these people are beneath you. I think the child would be better served to be in the social system considering you would be belittling him and running his parents down all his life, even if you did get the opportunity to raise him.

Answer 8

get a lawyer because she can also protest this because she has legal rights now get ready for a fight she can go to legal aid we will see how smart she is they still will fight for the mom in almost all of the cases you are up against some stress here and what a mess if you want to fight for the little boy go ahead be aware of the long road ahead

Answer 9

First  you  have  to  apply  with  child  serices  why  parents  are  un fit. Then they investigate  and decide  if  child  needs  removed or  parents   put  in  a  watch  situation. Sometimes  they  are  given  limited  time  to  improve  life.  If  taken  then  you can  ask  for  him,  but  then  they investgate  your  situation.  Also  her  peope  have  right  to  apply also.  And  if  Mother  and  Dad  pass parent  classes  they  may get  him back.  Or  Mom  by  herself on  benifits  from state. She  has  to  sign  away  and  Dad  also.  Lots of  paper  work and  decisions  by  everyone  envolved. Also even  in  jail  he has  visit  rights if  he  decides  to  force. So  for  couple  years  till all settled  your  life  will change  a  lot.   Another solution  is  to  request  to family  court  you keep in  regular  touch, visits, updates,   where  child  is and  remain  a  strong  figure in  his  life.    

Answer 10

report them:get approved to be foster parents:if it should come to the child  being about to be put in foster care you are qualified to take thwe child in