Shyness in school.........?

Question

I am a really shy girl.. I honestly am afraid to talk to people. I get nervous and I'm way at the bottom of the social food chain. This is going to be my first year of high school. This sounds pretty retarded, but I need advice?

Answer 1

Well....  Shyness and the other feelings you expressed is typically a result of feeling like you don't have social skills, fear of being rejected, and from past experiences reinforcing this sense of self.  

The best way to get beyond these feelings is two-fold.  

1)  Learn to like who you are as a person.  If you don't see yourself as someone worth getting to know, you won't believe anyone else will.  (We tend to see what we believe reflected in the world we experience.)

2)  Learn to talk to ppl.  This is a on-the-job kind of training.  You learn by trying.  Once you gain some confidence in being able to talk to ppl in general, you will find you fear it a lot less.  You might also want to read some books on social skills.

Here's a link to an old classic I'll bet you can find at your local library:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-In...

By the way....  Here's a secret to keep in mind.

Everyone in high school is worried about being popular.  And many of those who seem to be the most popular (cheerleaders, class presidents, etc.) are probably more worried and more afraid about the popularity game than you are.  

But the best way to win this game....  Don't take the game seriously.  Just be the best you you can be.  

Shhhh....  Don't tell anyone I let you in on this one.

Answer 2

Haha!!!! Ur just like me, girl! I'm very shy in school (but of course not out of school or online) and it's going 2 be my first year at highschool too! and im getting purple hair lol :)

Just kick back and relax. if some1 says hi, start a conversation. say hi, whats ur name. they answer. then say So what courses are you taking this year?..and so on.

Don't make it look like ur shy, cuz then less ppl will try to meet u. just walk wround, catches ppl's attention, start conversations...  When u have a group project go and find some1, don't wait for them to ask you, etc...

good luck!

Answer 3

Not to worry. :-)

Social skills are highly improvable. I was very shy but now i am not.

Well the good thing is that you have took the first step of overcoming your problem: that is realizing that you are shy and taking steps to overcome it(asking for advice).

As you said " am AFRAID to talk to people". Then i would suggest first that you would over come fear. Read these,

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/12...

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/10...

And after you have overcome fear there is no one stopping you from making a million(i mean friends).

You can improve you humor skills,

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/categor...

And i would suggest that talk to one new person per day, even a word or two are enough, and gradually increase numbers. And read this too:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/10...

"The largest room is the room for improvement", so start improving..

Hope this helps! Good Luck

Answer 4

Look you have got to be confident.

if you don't, your going to be eaten alive.

literally.

I've been in high school for a while now, thankfully i was confident when i started, and made lots of friends.

if you're shy, you're bound to be singled out/picked on at some point.

grow a back bone and start talking, you'll thank me later.

thumb me down, but you all know i'm right!

Answer 5

Be yourself

Don't have that GOAL in your mind

cos' then it will come in the way of you talking with people and all...

Be open funny and cheery

don't over do it

good luck

Answer 6

I have had the same problem. Take small steps out of your comfort zone, don't try and completely jump out of it in one day. You can do it. And remember, if you are nervous, and maybe you feel isolated and lonely, you are not the only one. Extreme shyness / social anxiety is not as uncommon as it seems, you just don't always meet other shy people because they are afraid to talk to people too! :D

It is probably important to talk to people right away, look for opportunities to have little conversations with the people you sit by in your classes, etc. And if someone says something to you, capitalize on it. Some of my best friendships in high school started with the other person saying something small to me, and I was able to make it into a conversation and we found out we had a lot in common. Just things like "hi" and "what classes are you taking?" are good places to start. (sorry i don't have more examples)

Remember to smile, that is important, not a big huge fake grin but facial expressions can communicate a lot, so look friendly, a small smile is good. (not to scare you at all, but some people interpret my expression when i am afraid as anger, i've had to learn that the hard way, so i have had to train myself to make sure to smile more often, maybe you don't have a problem with that)

And as cheesy as this sounds, fake it til you make it. Think positive thoughts, don't allow the negative thoughts to get a hold of you :D. BE YOURSELF, but envision success. I know how hard it can be to step out of your comfort zone, but it gets easier. Just tell yourself you're gonna be fine, even if that is difficult, and you will be. Oh, one more thing.. if you are feeling anxious, focus on your breathing for a minute, take deep slow breaths.

Good luck :D I'm sure you are going to end up having a great time in high school.  

Answer 7

first few day will be weird but then you will learn the cycle of the school then ppl will ask to hang out with you or vice verca

just be your self

but i bet like 10 ppl are gonna say be yourself

Answer 8

I feel the same way in school. i dont talk to people because of how shy i am. but listen. dont wait till the last minute to talk to someone. talk to those around you. just saying hi will get them to talk to you and with in days you might have a new friend. if you start the conversation by saying hi or just simply asking for help on some class work, you wil find it easy to talk to them. but remember be yourself and dont make up things to fit in.