Sibling Rivalry?

Question

I have 3 children 12,11 and 7 the girl is the oldest then the 2 boys. All they do all day long is bicker and argue CONSTANTLY!!! who did what, he looked at me wrong, smart with their mouth to each other..(not with me) I have told them plenty of times to respect, both boys got punished and to get their items back they need to show me that they are getting along. But they dont care they are STILL going on . What should I do HELPPPPPPPPP....

Answer 1

Sound's like the older children are aggravated with each other especially with them coming into teenage years.You should start eliminating alot of there privledges,no phone,no outside (moreless) grounded until they can start to respect each other and also give you a little more respect, also try church

Answer 2

You need to pack everything, i mean everything they have up.....leave them with only there clothes......You have to stay very firm with them, and they have to earn each and every item back.....and still can have things you give them back, taken again......I swear by this....i have 2 kids daughter is 9 and my son is 7....they were fighting, bickering, and just being outrageous with each other....( i was seriously looking at military schools on line..lol) Finally i had enough (thought i was going to have a nervous break down) I grabbed a pack of garbage bags, and i emptied there rooms, left nothing but there clothes and bedding.....no radios, no tv's, no PlayStation's, and no toys....they thought the world was going to end.....and the first 2 weeks after i took all there things didn't count towards getting there stuff back, because that was part of the punishment.....so week number 3 rolled around (the first week was hard but got better) and i have 2 different kids.....They re-learned how to play together...and how to be nice to each other....and to respect each other what they had......

Answer 3

have them play some team sports together.  Maybe a game of basketball, soccer, softball, badminton or some frisbee. you and the youngest vs. the older children.

Children often bicker when they are bored.

They are old enough to help out around the house maybe they can each pitch in and help you out with some chores.  The oldest can wash the dishes, the younger one dries the dishes and the youngest one can put them back on the shelf.  As with laundry: the youngest can sort, the older one can put the clothes in the washer and the oldest one can put in the dryer while everyone of the children will help fold and put away the clothes.  The oldest one can spray and clean the glass windows.  the younger one can vacuum or sweep and the youngest one can dust.

Answer 4

I lived on a farm and there were 5 of us. When my brothers and I would start fighting we were put right to work. If it was two of us then the two of us would have to go work together and we worked hours with each other. Even at 7 years old we worked until our attitudes changed. Right now I watch a brother and sister (6 and 10) they fight a lot for their parents, with me it is rare. The moment they start fighting I send one to one room and one to another and they have to sit for 5-15 minutes quietly and without doing anything (like a time out) until they can come back in and honestly be nice to each other, I do not care how long they stay by themselves, but they can't come out until they have re-adusted their heart attitude. They are also told that if they start again they will be put to work cleaning the house, I have never had to have them clean and they really do come back being nice. Well about once a month is all that I have to punish them in this way. All children will fight about something, but until you make them realize that they need to love and support their siblings they will just get worse. Working together to accomplish something does make your bond grow strong. The brothers that I worked with for hours I have and will always be close to, you try shoveling manure for 5 hours with someone and not get closer.

Answer 5

You need to get them into constructive activities. It is ok for them to do things together at home, but they need time away from home to do their own things. Spend lots of time with them and teach them to volunteer.

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(I have kids that I raised by taking their things away from them as a discipline. Guess what?????.... Just like yours, they opted to go without those things and adjusted. They seldom haD THE DESIRE TO EARN THINGS BACK.)

Answer 6

Maybe its because they are around eachother to much. Thats what people usually do when they get sick of being around another one. So maybe if they got some time apart and stayed away from eachother it might help. And if they start something just put them in their rooms. And let them stay in there until they are calm again. Hope I could help!

            ~Tkadvice

Answer 7

KM in PA has some of the best advice I have EVER heard on here. I agree with her completely. When a person is immersed in work they grow. Children that work together grow together. Respect is something that has to be taught. If you teach your children to to respect each other they will. That means teaching good communications such as "I" statements. Children will argue, that is human nature.. but there is a respectful way to do it. If you made your children do the dishes or polish the faucets or clean the carpets or wash the outside of the house, or weed the sidewalk, or mow the lawn, or plant a flowerbed, or wash the dog, or wash the walls, or write a paper together, or, or, or.... the list is endless. If they know they are going to have to work together mad they are much less likely to get caught being disrespectful to each other... I would say through my life one of the most dreaded things has been having to work with someone that is mad at me or that I don't like. Good luck.. I hope you get some useful helpful advice off of here.. Siblings that are constantly arguing can add alot of stress to house and is very frustrating.. hang in there.

Answer 8

Possibly they are in each others' space too much. Try to find active activities to get them out of each others' faces. If that's not practical, then let them argue so long as no one's getting hurt.