Single mother adoption?

Question

i'm still fairly young (i'm 22 and single) but i've already decided that if i'm still single and have a fairly decent income by 26-29 that i'm going to start adopting kids. i'm an incredibly sensitive person and cry when i think of children with no families and want to give them a chance. do you think its a bad idea for these children to not have a father figure? my mother, father and brother would all be actively involved in these children's lives but i know its different than an actual father... what are your thoughts on the issue?

Answer 1

So much can change between now and 26-29 y/o. You should be spending time and energy on your education to be sure you will have means of support instead of daydreaming about one day adopting if you have a "fairly decent income."

Answer 2

You can certainly adopt as a single woman and as long as you provide your child with healthy male role models (uncles, cousins, grandfathers, friends) I don't think there are any major issues against it.  

However, I am going to gently suggest that you examine your motivations for adoption.  It can be a wonderful thing, but adopting children because you want to save them can unintentionally create an atmosphere where the child must feel grateful for being adopted.  That's a heavy burden for anyone to carry.  

You've got plenty of time to consider it and I'm not negating your feelings about adoption.  

Good luck

Answer 3

I think this is a wonderful idea!  I feel the same way you do when I see stories about children with no real homes.  No, I believe you and your children will do fine in a single parent home.  My children grew up in the same until they were 17 and 9 respectively when I married their step-father.  Both have been trouble free children and very unspoiled.

Answer 4

I say if it a girl then no a boy mabye

Answer 5

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. I am the same age and have been considering the same thing. Last I knew the waiting list is about 10 years.

Something you might consider that was just brought up to me is having the child of a g*y man. That way the child has two loving parents. Just a suggestion.

Answer 6

when the children get older, they will become, more rebellious and mite not listen, (thats wut happend 2 me), u will want them 2 have another person 2 talk to.  children sometimes wont talk 2 thier parent, not that their parent did anything.  have a close friend thats older than them and have the person bond with ur adopted children also.  I hope i helped some.  I think its great u want 2 adopt, i want 2 when im older.

Answer 7

that sounds like a very nice idea.

Answer 8

I am single and adopted my son.  I do think a father-figure is important in any child's life...  and one day I may get married and have that for my son.  But, in the meantime, his Uncle, Grandfather, and cousin are great male role-models for him.  

If you want to adopt, I say go for it.  Keeping a good support system is vital, and if your family is already actively involved with your life and the idea, that's an excellent start.

Best wishes.

Answer 9

I think its awful to intentionally give kids a family without a dad, dads are necessary, not an accessories, this is selfishness on your part.  Dads and kids are key. the things they do together the time they spend, moms and dads have different and equally important roles with kids, that is why divorce is so damaging.  You need to focus on getting your life straight before you try to straighten everyone else's, you'll meet a nice guy, make sure he loves kids too. Problem solved. Parenting isn't just about your needs its about the kids too.

Answer 10

I know you think you are doing a nice thing by adopting children with no home but how would you like it if you were adopted by a single mum and never had a dad? It says in the Bible about having a stable home with both a mother and a father.

If you did adopt all these children do you think guys would be put off by thinking they could never be a part of your family?

Or any boyfriends that you did have who wernt put off, could all be seen as father figures to your children which could mess them up..yunno seeing different people as their "new daddy."

At the end of the day this is your choice however I think that whenever you decide to get married, you could adopt children together and lighten the load you would carry :]

Answer 11

You're still young and have lots of time to consider it....to answer your question, I do lots of single parent adoptions, at least half a year.

Answer 12

If you are not thinking about it for four years or so, that is lots of time to research adoption pros cons, and effects on children.  I beg you though to adopt a child already in foster care.

As for no dad, don't kid yourself it will be hard, and you will have to prove you have a great support system, someone to help say if you go to hospital, stuff like that.  I don't think an absent dad is a big thing, as long as the child has male role models, uncles, grandpas, Big Brothers (the program) that kind of thing.

Answer 13

An absent male is better than an abusive one, IMHO.

Have you considered being a foster parent?  There is a high need for good homes for children who have been abused or neglected.  With your kind of energy and love, this could fill both your needs.

Answer 14

dude why are u asking anyone that's actually the best thing to do u are helping homeless kids everyone will be proud of u unless u are a flirt and like don't want Ur kid around!!!

Answer 15

GOOD LUCK IN WAHT U DO FOLLOW YOUR HEART

Answer 16

i actuly want to do the same thing i'm 27 and no guy in site, so i'm thinking why wait for a guy to have a kid? and adoption is the best choice, but i do worry if the child will feel that he was cheated if they only get one parent, but then i think, that there are lots of single, birth parents out there, and they seem to be ok, so why not a single mother, who is responsible, caring and can afford to take care of a child. i say more power to you. and goodluck if you do adopt.

Answer 17

It's ok...my daughter doens't have her dad in her life..I think u should follow your heart and go for it!

Answer 18

I am a single, adoptive mom with three daughters from China.  In a perfect world, all kids would have a stable home with a loving mother AND father.  Unfortunately, this world is far from perfect.   Two of my children have special needs, and would have been both motherless AND fatherless if they had been left at the orphanages where they lived.  At least they now have one completely loving and devoted parent.

It is not always easy to be a single parent, and I do wish my daughters had a dad.  I have lots of friends who are married, and I try to have my daughters spend time around these families so they can see what a loving marriage is like, and how great it is.    The girls also attend karate school, and there are some wonderful male role models there.

You sound like a very loving and sensitive young woman, and I applaud your choice to adopt a child, if you truly want to give a home and a family to a child who would not otherwise have them.  Just be prepared for the fact that it is unlikely you will be able to adopt a healthy, newborn American child, and you shouldn't even try.   There are a zillion two-parent families WAITING for each healthy infant that becomes available.  These are NOT the children who will end up with no families.  If you feel able to open your heart and home to any child, try the foster care system, or international adoption.