Social workers and greedy APs?

Question

I am getting alot of mixed messages on here and would like to know how you feel about this.......Some say social workers are money making, and some say that APs are greedy, So if you are one of the people who think like that, then how would you expect an adoption to be done?

Do you all think that adoption is based on APs taking children?

The birth mother does have to give her consent before an adoption process goes ahead. I am not ignorant to the fact that there is seedy goings on in the world of adoption, just wanted to know your thaughts.

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I have heard that we are greedy, but those are just others opinions.  I have also heard how wonderful I am for "taking in" children.  I am netiher, or maybe a little bit of both.  I am a woman who is forming her family through adoption, to meet her own needs of mother hood, and to help a family without a mother.  (3 kids actually!)

Thanks for question.

Answer 2

Well, I don't think this way...but our childs birth mother has no option to consent for the adoption as her rights were terminated.  And as far as being greedy...if I am then I guess it's only for all the hugs and kisses / I love you's that I get, because it surely isn't about anyting else!

Guilty as charged!

Answer 3

People who think negatively of adoption Social Workers, Adoptive parents, Birthmothers, Birthfathers or Adoptees:

1.  Have had a personal negative experience and then generalized about it.

2.  Have not had much personal experience with adoption.

3.  Have personal biases against one or more of the above based or familial, community or Hollywood stereotypes.

The truth of domestic adoption is that almost all birth mothers knowingly freely, voluntarily and permanently relinquished their child, or due to abuse or neglect, their children were removed by the state.

This does not apply to international adoption, where in too many cases coercion and exploitation of poor women leads to countries turning their heads to allow the importation of their children through adoption.

Answer 4

My friend's mom is a foster parent and I don't think that social workers are just out to get money. Some are, but some are really caring and love the kids they work with.  Most birthparents, who did not choose to give their child up, however see them as mean people who took away their baby.

Answer 5

You have to be careful on websites that are open to all sides of the same topics... There will always be a diversity of oppinions and attitudes when all sides gather together and share information....

The truth is that in any "business" there are evil people and those who break the law... there will always be wrongs and illegal activities when Money is involved... Any of us involved in adoption should want and work for that junk to end...

There ARE greedy Adoptive Parents...just as there are greedy people or those who have children for reasons we can't ever understand--that isn't just an Adoptive parents issue... Sometimes there are greedy biological parents... Sometimes there are parents who are so greedy they would rather raise a child in h**l then allow them to have a safe and good life....

When an infant is adopted and the mother makes a choice then yes she has to sign her rights over--and I believe it is true that sometime the mothers face presure from family and adoption agencies---but, there are also a good number of children who have biological parents who didn't make a choice to have their rights terminated....

The problem I have with communities such as this is that most people want to have One idea about all the other sides of an issue.... When my adopted children grow up they will not have the same feelings or issues that another person adopted at birth might.... So where I get irritated is seeing the things I know might hurt my children as they grow up....

I am not sure how anyone could claim that a family like ours adopted the children we did because we were Greedy... Of course this idea is equally as irritating to me as the other side of the coin is--those people who seem to act as if we have done something noble or heroic irritate me just as much...

But, not nearly as bad as the fellow adoptive parents or parents in general who actually think we do what we do for the Glory.... can't even wrap my head about someone thinking the decision we made to adopt a child that may never be developmentally over the age of 10 was for any kind of glory--you would have to be nuts to do this for glory or greed.... but oh well it's the internet and people will think and judge as they please....

I just say--we all need to check our own motivations and attitudes and do our best to be ethical and report crimes when we see them.

Answer 6

How do I expect adoption to be done?   Much like it is in the UK actually - as a social service for children who need homes and not a money making business driven by high consumer demand.

All this is irrelevant to you in the UK because adoption is practiced in a totally different way to the USA.  I would agree with your statements if you are talking about the UK, I  agree wholeheartedly.   If however your statements relate to adoption in the USA then I would strongly disagree with them, Sarah.

I'm wondering what experience you actually have in the US adoption 'industry' to be able to claim to be so knowledgeable about it.

Answer 7

There is NO WAY a social worker at an adoption agency could keep her job if she didn't PLACE babies up for adoption.  Just like a person who works in any sort of sales job--no sales--no job.

And PAPs aren't greedy?  Hel-lo?  Have you read this question?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Get out to the sweet shop, luv, and get yourself some Jelly Tots! xx

Answer 8

I can't imagine how social workers get the label of money-making.  They aren't paid by the child.  However, I do think some people are better at being a social worker than others.  And, I do believe some social workers need to find a job that suits them better.  As for greedy adoptive parents, I'm not sure what the greed is for.  I am an adoptive parent.  I think maybe that greedy AP's refer to those who want a baby at anyone's expense.  And, that they are considered greedy when their words and actions seem focussed on getting their needs met (the need to be parents) rather than on what is really best for a particular child or birth parent.  And, maybe another instance of their greed would be in withholding information that would help the adoptee find out who their birth family is, and where the adoptee comes from.  Again, I can see how that would be seen as putting their own needs (the need to "protect" their parentage) ahead of what the adoptee needs.  

They may not realize they are being greedy, but the truth is that it is being selfish.  It is easy to disguise it as "protecting" the child, but in reality it is an attempt to "protect" their place in the child's life.