Socially delayed child?

Question

I am concerned about my friends 9 year old son. I think he is a bit socially delayed. He likes to sit in is dad's lap, hold his hand, he follows him around the house like a toddler. We recently took a group of boys to Knott's berry farms ages 9-11, instead of keeping up with the other boys he wanted to simply hold his dad's hand, my friend was uncomfortable with this and insisted that he play with the other boys. He whines, wets the bed, has nightmares, cries all the time if he does not get his way, if he can not watch tv, he is overly dramatic, he craves attention, he even makes up words and laughs at them.

He does well in school, although a year behind, plays well with 5, 6 and 7 year old. He does not function well with kids his own age. I picked him up from school one day and he was in the tot lot playing.

His behavior in my opinion is not age appropriate, I have a 10 year old son and I know that this behavior resembles a 5 or 6 year old, not a boy who's 9 boarding 10 years old........help me!

Answer 1

What do you need help with?  Maybe he is delayed but this is not your child.

Answer 2

I would talk to the kid's teacher and confide her the problem, the teacher will probably tell you she's seen the same and the kid needs help, then have her talk to the boy's dad so it doesn't sound like you (prior to become a step mom) see problems in the kid that the father may be unable to see or just doesn't want to.  Probably because of the "busy (neglecting)" mother, the father turned into over protective which means he'd need help too.  If the teacher leads you to counseling or therapy, you could be there to support and make sure they don't quit (some parents start and then quit because they don't want to face certain things).  Wish you the best!  

Answer 3

Perhaps the boy just needs his father.  It may suit him well for his father to spend more quality time with him.  It could also be his mother too.  As women, we sometimes (subconciously) shut out our sons emotionally in an effort to "make a man out of him".  She might want to make more of an effort in connecting with him.  Perhaps simply asking, "are you unhappy?"

Obviously, some counseling wouldn't hurt.  Not so much for the boy, but so that his parents are better suited to deal with his needs.  They're not all cut from the same cloth.

ADD:  Mom's gone- there's your problem right there.  The fact that his stepmother may convey (even in the most slightest and unconcious manner) that he may be socially inept is also probably very troubling to him.  Get him to counseling immediately.