Sticky Situations...?

Question

All i want is advice. And not the judgemental kind or the parent kind, just regular advice..

My mom and dad are divorced because she cheated on my dad. They still get along and stuff and live close by so them fighting is the least of my problems. But i feel guilty sometimes, my dads a disaster and i can't hate my mom. My dad and i fight all the time, he calls me an a*****e and hateful and when i cry it makes him even more pissed. My mom and i get along just fine but i don't even know if i can trust her because of what she did. I'm going to be a freshman in highschool and i had two sisters. One is still alive and my best friend, shes 25. Our sister, who was a year younger than the oldest, was murdered when i was 7. Her and my older sister were like twins and my older sis just got dumped by her fiance and had a misscariaged baby(sp?). So what do i do when everythings a mess and i just cant pick up all the peices? My broken up family says i keep them alive with a smile, but i cant smile.

Answer 1

You are so young to be dealing with so much but this is life. All you can do is continue to be there for your family. All families have issues, you are not alone. Your mother made a mistake and it may be hard to do but you need to forgive her so you all can move forward. No one is perfect and at the end of the day she is still your mom. Tell your dad that you dont appreciate all of the verbal abuse and that he needs to stop. I am sorry to hear about your sister being killed. Be there for your sister I know that you are young but let her know that you love her and are there to listen if she ever wants to talk. Remember that no ones life is perfect and that you just have to pray and take life one day at a a time and God will never put more on you than you can bear. Good Luck

Answer 2

WOW!  Sorry to hear about all the mess.

You really need to talk to someone about how you feel...even if that someone is your mom or your sister.  They need to understand that you have feelings, too and that everything that is going on has an impact on you, too.

I don't understand why your dad is so mean to you...kind of like he's taking his anger out on you for things your mom did.  If your parents still get along, would it be feasible for your mom to talk to him about the way he's treating you?  Do you have to spend time with him?  Maybe you could tell your dad how his ranting and raving makes you feel and follow up with "I'm not going to spend any time with you until you can get yourself together and quit blaming me for what happened.  I didn't do anything wrong here and shouldn't be punished for mom's actions."

Talk to your sister about what has happened to her.  Tell her how you feel about it, too.  You two could have a good cry together and maybe hold each other up.

Just remember these things...you will get through this.  It sucks now, but it will get better.  It may take some time, but just hang in there and don't keep your feelings bottled up!

Answer 3

I'm sorry your life is such a mess right now.  You are too young to be handling such big issues.

Stay close to your sister.  She needs you and you need her.  Every day that goes by is going to put distance between you and all the nasty c**p that has happened over the past few years.  That's the best you can do, make good days with your sister and the other stuff around you, like the crazy parents, will be easier to tolerate.

Good luck!