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My parents died in a double suicide act. They created a scene inside our family home garage. The car was left on with the door closed and garage door closed. The fumes from the garage killed them...there was a suicide note left. I found them there both naked my mother had even taken some pills (but they were not the cause of death) I was the one that found them and I was 11 years old. It was the most unbelievable situation and I have been scarred. I have dreams of the scene and everytime I see a garage...i burst into tears. I am 57 years of age now and have put my rage and sadness into my alchohol. I am sad, depressed and ready to take my life into the hands of god. Suicide runs in the family....my grandmother did it as well and my uncle Jerry as well. Jerry lived and is now in a hospital. I just feel that I have nobody secure anymore to lean on for I don't have any siblings or other family members. Should I let the genes carry on?
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