Tell me what you think : )?

Question

GUILT.

Once the knife is pulled away,

i will never be the same.

The scars will never go away.

I will be suffering in pain.

I think about so called love,

and everyone around.

I feel so bad,

i then fall to the ground.

Drowned in tears of blood.

They represent the one who said they loved.

I look away,

trying not to face reality.

The blood just keeps pouring.

My emotions stop showing.

I lay on the floor,

in fear of who i am.

I sit there and try to be someone,

someone, i realize is not me.

I cannot fathom why i do this to myself.

I cant understand why i hurt people everyday.

With that knife in my skin,

i will live in pain.

Nothing will ever be the same.

if you want to tear up your life,

it all comes down to you and the knife.

Answer 1

Impressive,  with the right guitar riffs this would make a hit.

Answer 2

try to use less words, try to get a rhythm going it, it sonds kinda repetative, try to get a better vocabulary so you can describe things better, then you'll be straight