Question:

The second for today....?

by  |  earlier

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Poem titled "These Words" By Echo!!!

When I look into your eyes

Something wonderful flutters inside me

Twisting, turning and thriving butterflies

Casting wings out to sea

Fear for where it may head

Hope for where it may go

Wanting ever so badly to succeed

I'm finally letting you know

These words of mine

They come from in my heart

Let your true light shine

And give it, give us a start

Maybe I should not, maybe I should

Who knows if it will be bad

For all we know this is for the good

I'm here, offering all I ever had

Now, it's all up to you

You choose our fate, what happens next

Just remember, I'm still here, waiting for you

Wishing, hoping, praying for the best.

It takes a lot of nerve for me to be putting these poems out here. So please give me your honest opinions. I don't care if you say "That is horrid. Throw it away and stop writing." I will thumbs up every single answer for it is your honest opinion. Please give me your thoughts and/or suggestions.

Thank you for your time.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Ok. My honest response?

    Wow, thats good. Simple but creative, i rather enjoyed that =]


  2. Nicely done, but I would suggest bringing to play more of the senses.  People have kinships with different sets of stimuli, and art is meant to make others feel.  An emotive piece can be easily written if you adhere to this little, yet effective principle.

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