Time line for proposal?

Question

So I have been together with my boyfriend for almost five years. He is raising my son with me as his own. My kiddo loves him. But I am tired of being the girlfriend. We have talked about marriage and all that, but still nothing. I told myself if he doesn't ask me by a certain date I am hitting the road. Has anyone else been in this crappy situation? He says he wants to marry me, but I feel that if really wanted to marry me he would have done so a long time ago... even if it was in a courthouse.

Answer 1

Tell him to p**p or get off the pot.  I am serious.  Some guys need a little shove.  From your post, I am not hearing that he is unhappy or unsure of you.  Maybe he thinks you are expecting a huge wedding, etc.. and this bothers him.  Just talk to him.  Good luck.  

Answer 2

He says that he's ready, but his actions or rather his lack of actions (popping the question) say something different. If you're not happy with the way things are, tell him.

Answer 3

There is no time line, when he is ready to he will do it.

It sounds like you got a great relationship going on, why mess it up just because you want a piece of paper?  Is that piece of paper really all that important?  Do you think that it will really cause all sorts of wonderful things to happen?  Guarantee you that the more you push for it, the less likely he will be to do it.  

Just relax, and enjoy living your life with this guy.  You two can have a long fullfilling relationship even if you don't get married after being together for 20 years.  That piece of paper isn't important, all that really is important is that he treats you and your kid well.  

Answer 4

Why would he want to get married ? He has it all now.

Answer 5

Just talk to him, maybe tell him how you feel. It could also be that he is scared and that's why he hasn't done anything. It's very sweet his is raising your son as his own, but just please talk to him.

Answer 6

You guy might as well get married.

What is he waiting on?

Or go to city hall or something.

Answer 7

give him a deadline, like 3 months. and then STICK TO IT  

Answer 8

Hmm I wonder the same thing all the time.. My boyfriend and I have a 2 year old son, and have been together 4 years.. Unfortunately you can't really push a man into doing something he's not ready for without some serious resentment. I understand your need for some type of official commitment, I feel it too. If you're happy, then leave things be. If you really do have a deadline, set it for something reasonable like a year or two, not 3 months (yeah good job whoever wrote that). If you love him enough to marry him, love him enough to let him be ready to commit to you forever. I mean, you have the rest of your lives, right?

Answer 9

This is abig step and maybe he is not ready for it it right now no matter how much he loves you.

I made a couple hints to my husband then months later he proposed to me with the perfect ring.  One thing about that is that he wasn't ready and now our marriage is very bad.  He ended up telling me that no he wasn't ready and now our marriage has suffered behind it.

Please make sure he is reday vs. being married based on time and love.

Answer 10

Just sit him down and be honest with him.  Tell him exactly how you are feeling. Tell him everything that you said in this post. The least you can do for him is be honest with him and the least he can do for you is to be honest back.  Whatever happens after that was just meant to be.

Answer 11

Well, maybe instead of just leaving by a certain date, you should put it all into perspective for him, and let him know the way you feel (that you're tired of just being a girlfriend...) It doesn't sound like he's scared of it because he's already living the life, it just sounds like he doesn't see the need for a piece of paper to make it legal.  If you don't feel like confrontation works well for your guy, then maybe you should subtly make some hints... refer to him as your husband in his presence, get him a card that tells him how you feel that is for a husband... and if he asks you why tell him that you really want to make the real committment, and you thought he did too, and maybe it is time to set a date.  It couldn't hurt... right?  Maybe if he knew just a courthouse ceremony would be alright, then he'd be happy to oblige.   Good Luck!  

Answer 12

don't force the marriage.  It sucks to much to do it until death.

Don't try to fix what isn't borken.  If you force the marriage....i guarantee he won't stick around....it will end badly.