To all you missing dads?

Question

Every day i see on Answers someone who is looking for their dad. So all you dads out there who have fathered children, why don't you care about your children? Don't you know that someday a child you fathered is going to come looking for you and ask WHY? Please, this is an honest question. I want to know how fathers can just up and leave their children without ever looking back. Do you think about us? Do you still love us or did you ever? Are you angry we were even born? Honest answers only, please.

Answer 1

This question makes me sad, yet angry at the same time.

:(

Answer 2

Well in my husband case his "missing dad" turned out to have never been told he was concieved and alive. His nasty w***e of a mom lied his whole life, so he found out at 22 that the man he believed to be his father actually wasn't. (after having not seen that man but 2 times in 10 years! All because the nasty tramp was trying to keep her "little secret" to herself.) It isn't always the mans fault. Women are just as much to blame half the time, and rarely do they admit it.

Answer 3

There are NUMEROUS reasons that Dad's become estranged from their children. I'll tell you something about a couple scenarios and they mostly involve the mother being the culprit in causing the alienation of a father.

1. Mother's can make life so difficult by using the powers the state endowed them with against a father to the point where he disappears from the child's life. Something that some mother's would love. I know first hand, as my daughter's mom made my life miserable by forcing me into a custody battle that should have never happened. I just happened to be one of those fathers’s who was strong enough to endure through the grace of God. Through disappointments, backs being turned on me by close family and friends, and a court that wanted me to prove through receipts cancelled checks and any other proof of payment that I cared for our daughter...otherwise I was going to jail for 18 months and paying a 2000 fine and paying the mother 21,000 in back support, I was able to overcome. Some Dad's aren't as blessed/lucky as I was.

Add that to having raised my daughter primarily, and asking for temp custody of the child, and being denied that, and going from seeing your child 4 days per month from 30. Add that to having a false temp restraining order keeping from seeing your child for almost an entire month. Oh, and add that to being denied your visitation 14 times, paying to have it enforced, and the judge slapping her on the wrist NINE TIMES!

It made me want to give up and just disappear, because trying to raise my child with a co-parent like that was simply too difficult. I loved my daughter with everything that I am, but there is no way that I could endure this for the next 13 years.

2. The mother alienates the father from the child by denying visitation, and then tells the child that her daddy doesn't want anything to do with her because he isn't doing what she (mom) wants him to do. I believe 92% of men paying child support make 14,000 or less per year...so how in the world could they enforce the visitation, as that requires hiring an attorney? Well, that's why mothers get away with it, because the SYSTEM handicaps a man's ability to enforce visitation with their children. If they provided the same tools that the state uses to enforce child support to enforce visitation, then this situation would happen a lot less.

3. The father tells the mother that he does not want a child period. Women have the ability to determine whether or not a man is going to become a father. If he specifies that he does not want to be, and she has the child, she can force him in the least to financially support the child. In response to a child that he never wanted, he chooses not to engage in forming a relationship with the child.

In conclusion, I am saying that the system is unfairly weighted at giving women powers that they should not have, and not offering father's the assistance, nor the rights of choice when it comes to being a parent, even if it is just financially. So if you want to stop having so many illegitimate children, or alienated dad's, MOTHER'S need to work to help change things.

Answer 4

I'm a woman so I can't anwer your question but I have an ec husband who never sees his kids.  He never calls them or anything and I have to watch my children cry because they miss their 'daddy'  and its very hard to see them hurt so I am very interested in the answers you will get.  I don't see how some man can just leave and not care.

Answer 5

Did you ever love us or were you capable of it or were you just messing around?  If your father could have chosen an abortion, would he have?  Possibly he doesn't believe in abortion and he doesn't have to change his mind, if he has one, if he ups and leaves.

Please don't bother looking for your biological father.  If he wanted to, he would find you.

HOWEVER, you can find and choose a new father, someone who would love you, answer your questions, and be grateful for your love.