Toilet Training help?

Question

My Cousin is VERY stubborn in being potty-trained- she will cry, scream, wail, lie down, refuse to move, run and hide, go motionless, try to hit you, anything.

She even has an infection down there because she won't tell anyone that she's gone to the bathroom.

Any tips on how to get her potty-trained? Thanks! ;)

Answer 1

How old is she?

Answer 2

You didn't mention her age, but if she is old enough to understand verbal instructions on how to use the potty and she has shown the ability to stay dry for several hours in a row she can be potty trained (about 18-24 months).  It will be hard, not because she isn't ready, but because she is stubborn.  However, using the toilet is a good hygiene skill.  Some things you insist on, despite tantrums, such as bathing, going to the doctor, eating other foods than ice cream, etc.  Potty training is one of those things.  Training can be done gradually with stickers and m&m's for the easy child, but if they are trying to be the boss, don't play games.  Just tell her the new house rule is that pee and poo go in the toilet/potty and ditch diapers.  You don't need to force her to sit on the potty, just take away the option of using diaper, pull-up, (maybe even underwear at first)  Don't be afraid of the accidents, she'll get over them, she'll learn through trial and error in a few hours, days, or weeks.  When the tantrum is over you can have a lot of fun with this, she can take some satisfaction on accomplishing something so important.  Just be brave, get some carpet cleaner or cover couches with shower curtains, whatever works for you, be prepared, but be firm.  Don't use diapers or pull-ups except for maybe at night a few weeks.  They really send a mixed message and will encourage her to keep screaming about not having a diaper or having to sit on the toilet.  Diapers are easy and comfortable, it isn't surprising she protests.  The average kid does now days, but they tantrum for candy too, just say no.

Here is a detailed method (see best answer) on how to potty train, it isn't exactly what I would do, but it gives you great ideas.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Lacey: The most stubborn child I have experience with had similar reactions to your cousin and started training at the same age.  He lived next door, but spent most of his time at my house.  Taking diapers away wasn't an option because his brother was 13 months younger and they were in the house because of him.  His mom had her hands full and decided to just wait it out.  Around his fourth birthday he finally agreed to wear underwear and was mostly trained in about two weeks, although he had occasional accidents for quite awhile.  He was just too strong to deal with and they decided not to fight that battle.  If parents want a 2 1/2 year old out of diapers, they usually just take them away and clean up accidents until the child is trained, but for sanity, sometimes it is okay to wait.

Answer 3

How old is your cousin?  It is possible she just isn't ready to be potty trained yet.  Every child is different and there is no set age when potty training has to be done.  Some children are ready in the 18-24 month range, but many more aren't ready until they are 2-3 years old.  There are also some children that aren't ready until they are 3-4 years old.  Most are potty trained by 5-6 years old.  My own youngest daughter was very similar to your cousin.  I am mom to 4 kids plus I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for 20 years.  I have potty trained a lot of children.  When my own youngest refused to even sit on the potty, I brought out my extensive bag of potty training tricks, but nothing worked for her.  She was not potty trained until 2 weeks before she turned 5.  Some children like a reward.  You can put a sticker on a chart for every time she will sit on the potty.  When she gets 10 stickers, she gets to choose a small toy from the dollar store.  Or you can offer her a small treat such as a Skittle, an M&M, or a gummy bear for each time she'll sit.  Two if she goes potty.  Potty training can be frightening for some children especially if she has already been yelled at or punished for accidents.  I highly suggest that you forget about potty training at all for a few weeks.  Then start fresh with lots of patience, praise, and prizes.  Punishment should never be part of the potty training process.  You can not expect a child to tell anyone she has to go potty in the beginning.  In the beginning it is the parent or other caregivers responsibility to take the child to the potty on a regular schedule.  Every 1/2-1 hour often works well.  For some children such as my daughter or it sounds like your cousin, too, nothing you do is going to make her use the potty until she ready to do so.  If she has a urinary tract infection or has had one in the past, it may very well be that she associates going potty with pain.  You need to let that association fade before you can reach any level of success.  My most common suggestion to parents struggling with potty training is to let it go for a period of time.  Put the child back in diapers full-time and don't talk about the potty for awhile.  When things have quieted down than start new with a fresh approach.  Offer rewards, talk upbeat, give lots of praise and encouragement.  Be consistent and patient, potty training is a process that takes time and practice to accomplish.  Depending on the child's personality, don't go overboard on the praise.  My daughter absolutely hated to be fussed over (still does at 10 years old).  Many of the children I have potty trained loved the little "potty parade" we'd do after a successful deposit in the toilet.  We'd use empty rolls of toilet paper like batons and march around the house singing a silly made-up potty song.  My daughter hated it and refused to ever participate.  What she liked better was for me to whisper in her ear that she did a good job.  For your cousin, the potty has become a power struggle for her, something she wants to control, so let her control it for awhile.  When my daughter was a little over 4 and we were going through one more struggle over the potty, in exasperation, I said, "When are you ever going to go potty in the toilet?"  She was thoughtful for a few seconds and then said, "When I am 5 I will go potty in the toilet."  Well, at least we had a goal, so, we let it go.  She sometimes would go potty on her own, but mostly she used her pull-up and would change herself when wet.  A bit weird, but nothing else was working for her or us.  She had big girl panties and sometimes chose to wear them.  Two weeks to the day before she turned 5 she got up in the morning, announced today she was going potty in the toilet and was day and night trained that same day.  She took her supply of pull-ups and diapers and put them on my daycare changing table for the "babies" to use and put on big girl panties.  She only had a handful of accidents.  Not the most typical method of potty training, but sometimes you have to go with what works.  There is no one method of potty training guaranteed to work with every child.

Answer 4

So are you saying that if you TRY to potty-train her she will do something to you?