Tomorrow. criticize please.?

Question

Tomorrow, I run away

Tomorrow, I run away from here

There is nothing to keep me bound anymore, no restraints, no commitments

Tired of wasting love on those who feel no love

Tired of striving to achieve but accomplishing so little

Tired of a place of dead memories, of trace dust mites of mirth that once existed

Of something that was, something that would be, something that could be

But never ripened into fruition, but rather withered into black dust

Scattered, scattered into the decadent ashes of time immemorial

Of ancient pictures of people long gone, their lives untangled from mine

And set free, set to fly, set to soar away from here, to glide into the open arms of grace

And to leave me here, just here, just sitting here.

So tomorrow, I run away.

Answer 1

i think it's very good.

Answer 2

There is some beautiful imagery in your poem although it is rather depressing and lacking in hope for the future.  Maybe you could have added some idea about hope for a better life in the future.  The only grammatical correction I would make is to change "I run away" to "I will run away" because it is in the future tense not the present.  I think you have a real talent for writing poetry and I would like to see more of your work.

Answer 3

Sorry I actually don't really like it because I feel like it's more of a story.