Trannie Brother-In-Law?

Question

My dearest and closest sister (who lives in another city) just contacted me to tell me her husband has been shopping at Lane Bryant for women's clothing. Now I have never been close to this brother-in-law, nor is he an attractive man. But I fear he will make a worse woman. Nothing is wrong with wearing women's clothes. (but this is to freaky for me) Should I tell my dear sister, it is okay to go out in public with hursband in full drag. Or should I tell her she should seek out a quick divorce. Another option is a s*x change operation, but I must confess the man looks like a line backer to begin with. But a s*x change would make him look like a linebacker in a dress. Now she (my dear sister) is working at Kroger, and can't afford to find another man. And she has this bad hump in her back, so looking for a real man is impossible with her condition. What is a responsible health care professional to do? Please any responses would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Why consider divorce?  Cross-dressing alone should not destroy a marriage.  He should be able to wear whatever he wants in the home; the only issue is what to do in public.  Many men are satisfied just wearing women's undergarments, but if he wants to go out in drag, she needs to be the one to decide whether to accept it and join him, or to stay home alone without him.

How do you know he's not a "real man"?  Does he WANT a s*x change operation?  Not all cross-dressers are transsexuals.  You seem to be making a number of assumptions.

Edit:  Okay, for starters your sister needs to educate herself about the subject.  Have her read the information in the link below and related topics.  Then, as jesuslard says, she needs to talk with him and find out exactly what his feelings, motivations and intentions are.  Whatever his answers, the next step is for them to JOINTLY discuss things with a professional counselor. They will need it.  You should give her all the moral support you can, but I feel you are too biased to fairly mediate the situation.

Answer 2

Aren't you jumping the gun just a little?  How do you know for sure that he is buying these clothes for himself?

And if by chance he IS buying these clothes for himself, why not let your sister decide about a divorce or not.

Plus, if all this comes to pass, who says that a woman MUST have a man, regardless of her appearance?  

I think you are jumping the gun on all the scenarios you have presented.

Answer 3

Your sister needs to talk to her husband about this

Answer 4

Therapy is needed for the husband and divorce proceedings for her if he doesn't clean up his act.  I'd rather be living poor without someone than with someone who wanted to wear my makeup and clothes.

Answer 5

Okay, let's try to understand your brother-in-law.  If he enjoys crossdressing he is like 10% of normal healthy heterosexuals, who have one little kink in their brains.  Their brains are hard-wired such that their brains produce dopamines, serotonins and other neurotransmitters when they crossdress.  These neurotransmitters give them a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self identity.  It affects the reward centers of their brain so that it mimics the addiction response.  They will say they NEED to crossdress.

Now most men with this condition consider it a problem.  Then try to repress it. They want to be normal.  So they place limits on their crossdressing.  They may just use one or two pieces of womens clothes and stop with that.  When they get around 40 years old then may wonder if their suppression was really a good idea.

Now some crossdressers don't consider it a problem at all.  They want to celebrate their crossdressing condition.  They work hard at creating a female alter-ego, give "her" a feminine name, and even fall in love with their female alter ego.  They may talk about the needs of their alter-ego.  They may prefer to live as their alter-ego... At this point their wives will say they don't feel loved.  They feel as if their husbands have left them for their alter-egos.

At this point you need to have a sit-down talk with your brother-in-law.  His crossdressing may just be his way of dealing with life's pressures.  Perhaps he just does it to help himself relax.  Then again he may have already decided that he has been living a lie, and now he has decided to come out of the closet.  Perhaps he has already decided that his alter-ego is his first love.

Answer 6

What does being a health care professional have to do with it??  Not sure why you bring it up, but I do have to say that anyone in the health care profession should have a little more compassion here.

This is between your sister and her husband.  I would stay out of it.  It sounds like you're really uncomfortable with it, and can't give her sound advice, anyways.  btw, the term is "transgendered," not "trannie."  And you don't even know if he's transitioning to be a woman, or not.  He might just be cross-dressing.  There's much more to transitioning, than shopping at Lane Bryant.  Butt out.  If they need a counselor, they'll get one.

If you're really looking for knowledge all this - why not post your question in the cultures&groups: LGBT category?

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your sister needs to start communicating with her husband.

Find out what he wants, and see if it is a mild obsession or if he wants gender reassignment.

Don't knock her having a hump as making her impossible to get another guy.  There are guys out there who don't mind a lady with a disability.

Answer 8

WOAH!!! Sounds like you need some edumification, as our "Prez" would say!

First: "trannie" means "transexual", as in "batting for the other team/went through surgery"!!! It does NOT mean "wears women's clothes! That, lovechunks, is a "tranVESTITE", stemming from the two Latin words for "across" and "dress" as in "CROSS-DRESSER"! (Eeey!! I didn't go to altar boy school all those yrs. to learn NOTHIN'!!!)

The point it that he is YOUR SISTER'S SPOUSE...NOT YOURS!!! IF she has not prob with him shopping at Lane Bryant, why do YOU?!! But as an aside, I'd NEVER let MY wiefe shop there--it's dog-meat palace! Tell your bro-in-law to hit (what's that place, honey?)...oh yeah, "Coldwater Creek" or Nordstrom). Nice stuff, kinda matronly, but acceptable.

DIVORCE??? Have you had an affair with anyone lately, Buddy? Yah...I THOUGHT so! You want your wife dumpin' YOU cos she finds out? Yeah, again...I bet you DON'T!

Does this bro'-in-law PROVIDE for the fam? IF he treats your sister right and the kds, who the F*** are YOU to tell them what to do with their lives???

NOBODY tells ME what to do and if I were HIM, I'd put on my best outfit, drive over to your friggin' house with a dozen BRICKS in my Gucci bag and bash your friggin' brains in, for puttin' my sister through this MESS!

NOBODY, especially not YOU, is "perfect"! Mind yer own damned business, you nosy S.O.B.!!!