Trying to have a baby???!!!?

Question

Here is my story...I am 28 years old and have a lot of health issues.Been married 5 years and the relationship is good when it is good and really BAD when it is BAD.I am being told that due to my health, if I do not conceive a child soon I may never have one! So this is my dilemma do I have a child in this rocky marriage or take my chances and get a divorce then wait however long it may take to find Mr.Right...If there is even such a thing.My husband has been with me through all of my health issues and is going through all types of measures as far as going to fertility doctors is concerned.But we do have a volatile relationship.Should I just have my baby and then go?Is that ethical?

Answer 1

work on your marriage and get pregnant at the same time. but make sure that you can handle the stress of pregnancy, raising a baby and mending a marriage all at one time. if not, then don't do it. it'd be an injustice to the child and your marriage will also suffer. is your hubby willing to have a baby at this time? don't have it if he's not ready. don't think that after you'll have the baby, he'll start loving him. if he wants a baby too then chances are that it would improve your marriage but there's a huge difference between wanting a baby on his free will and wanting it because you convinced him. going to marriage counseling is a very good step. good luck!

Answer 2

i would see how the marriage counseling goes and then go from there

Answer 3

I cant have children due to medical issues either, so I understand that.  It happened before I was able to even try.

You should never bring children into an unstable relationship.  NEVER.  Have your child and go?  Again, why bring a child into an unstable relationship?  Even if you leave the marriage, you will be tied to him for the next 18 years.

If you are desperate to conceive now, leave your husband and go to a sperm bank.

And you should keep in mind that maybe you were meant to foster/adopt instead of conceive your own child.

Answer 4

only you know the answer, do what you think is right

Answer 5

if you are in counseling then my answer would be no.  Step back for a moment and assess the situation do you really want to have to deal with this man for the rest of your life or put your child threw this knowing that when its bad its really bad?  And to leave after having a child sounds great but reality will set in yes you will have the child you want but at what cost to you or your child?

Answer 6

No one can answer this question but you. If you stay and have a baby, it could bring you closer or push you farther away. If you leave him, you might find another man later on and there is always adoption. There are lots of people who can't have babies at all, and there are some that don't want theirs. Thank goodness adoption is available.

Answer 7

You have to decide whether you feel it is fair to a child to bring it into this volatile relationship.  Personally, I would leave him, and find someone that would be a better father to my child and husband to me.  If you don't feel you can do that, ask him to go to marriage counseling with you, and then make up your mind.

Answer 8

A baby will only make the rocky marriage worse.  Babies add stress.  They add problems.  Don't get me wrong, they are great, but they are allot of hard work.  And if you don't have a solid foundation your marriage will suffer

Answer 9

If its rocky....DONT stay.

If you raise a child in a bad atmosphere your going to regret it...a lot.

Wait...dont just get knocked up...you will have to deal with him...forever.

Answer 10

well what kind of health issues are you going through? that would help me much more with this question. First off the two of you need to make sure the relationship has a solid foundation w/out any cracks. Primarily work on that! Once you know you both are stable mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually you will then be ready for a baby. Babies are wonderful and not any reason to keep a relationship. You don't want to be stuck with a baby and being a single mother. Need to make sure your financially ready to support another life.. When your ready google ovulation charts and that will tell you the prime time your body is ready to have a baby then go after it.

Good luck  

Answer 11

maybe the stress he puts you through aids to your health problems, tell him to quit being a jive turkey and realize what he is about to lose. Try counseling. If you wait for the right time to have a child you never will, it should be planned but not over planned. Also dont do it because you might not be able to down the road, miracles happen everyday. Do it because you both want it not out of fear that you could miss your window.

Answer 12

No you will be bound to that man forever since you share a child. Just cut your losses and dont miss the chance at true love that's out there waiting for you.

Answer 13

You are both trying to work on your marriage that is a good thing. If you two want a baby and are financially ready to have one then i think you should given ur situation.