Virginity: is it still important????

Question

ok... i know this is a stupid question... and ive never done this before... i never tried this yahoo answers before.. but i know all about this... "coz of internet" well... ill go straight to the point... coz yeah... you're all bored...

ok... i came from a conservative family... im 17 actually... well... i have one motto while i was growing up...it is "not to lose my virginity until i get married" coz for me its like the best present that i can give to my husband... but yeah... i got into 2 relationship before and i never let them kiss me or so whatever... but then i had my 3'rd boyfriend and he knows about my "motto" and he respects it... but yesterday something happend between us... and i dont know what happened to me but yeah... i gave it to him... and we're just like going out for 4 months... but before you judge him or me... he asked me... if im going to regret anything... and i said no... i dont know im stupid... i know im not getting to my point but... now i feel like im regretting the things that happened to us... i dont know why... but i feel like im stupid... and i dont want to ask my friends coz yeah... they know me as an "innocent one"... and i dont want to destroy that... i know this is stupid and im pretty sure that half of the answers will be telling me im stupid or so whatever... but i admit it... im stupid but im a teenager... i experiment... explore and according to the science stuff that i red to the internet... "it's normal" so yeah... NO JUDGEMENT.... but one thing i know... he loves me... and that's kinda freakin me out... coz in the way he've said it to me... he's not gonne let me go... and i dont know... im kinda scared but yeah it also means he can be my first and last??? (this is stupid)

i dont know...

just tell me... what should i do... i know half of you will laugh at me... but... i just break my promise to myself... and i know its my fault.... and im freaking out and stuff...

just for the future... any answers in a very nice way will help... and i know that you dont know me... so thats better coz i just want your opinion... or should i say HELP..... so yeah... thanks...

Answer 1

Virginity is very important.People should wait until after marriage to have s*x.How do you know if you are going to be with this guy forever?He could just be saying that he's going to stay with you forever because he wants to get you in bed.It's good that he asked you first if you wanted to give up your virginity to him but you should have not given in.You're not stupid but maybe a little ignorant.You broke your promise to yourself.I'm not condemning you.We al make mistakes but you should have been stronger.If you continue doing this,it could lead to unwanted pregnancies and an unwanted STD.You never know.Even if he is using condoms,they could break,you know.Now if you get married to someone else,you can't give p your virginity to them.If your boyfriend really loved you,he wouldn't have wanted to have s*x with you until you guys were married.It's a question of how true his love is.You need to pray to GOD about this.Abstinence is very important and shouldn't be taken lightly.You and your boyfriend have only been together for four months.You still hardly know each other.I think that you are feeling guilt more than anything.I think the reason why you really gave it to him wasn't because you loved him but because you wanted to make him happy.You didn't want to disappoint him but you don't have to give them your virginity.You don't know if this is the guy that you are going to marry in the future.Just because he says that he loves you now doesn't mean that he's going to be with you forever.He could have used those words to have s*x with you like I said.You definitely need and should to talk to GOD about this.You should take a pregnancy test though,just in case.Keeping your virginity is important and you should wai until you are married.I hope that I helped.GOD BLESS you!

Answer 2

Hello,

Well first off where to start, im sure if it would help you to know that I am 23 and yes...im still a virgin! And I am to waiting to get married to have sexual intercourse! My parents have too raised me not to lose my virginity until I am married, I will say so far so good. Being a health teacher i know the risks...Im around teenagers ALL day! Teenagers always have a curiosity to explore who they are and sometimes how far they can go, which is not a bad thing. Some people only learn one way and thats by exploring!

By the way I read things, you sounded confident that you wanted your boyfriend to take away your virginity. But I can also understand why you are scared. Its ok to be scared! Also, no one should judge you, what you and your boyfriend do is for you two only as long as you are being responsible!

If there is one thing that we both know is that your virginity has been takin, which is what you decided, its done and over with...you cant go back in the past and re-do everything. If you believe that losing your virginity with your boyfriend was a mistake you need to learn from that mistake...meaning...dont have s*x again until your married. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will respect you for whatever decision you make. My parents have always told me and still do, the one way we learn is by learning from our mistakes.

Hope this helped...best of luck!

Answer 3

What may be important to you, may be less important to someone else. Nobody here will judge you harshly, except for yourself. You're making yourself stressed out about this (as it sounds from your writing). Its all a matter of how you feel. If you don't regret your decision, then you have nothing to worry about.  

Answer 4

My very good friend lost his life just last week riding his motorcycle. He was only 20 years old and not married.

Let me ask you a question: Do think being traditional is worth potentially dying a virgin?

This is a dangerous world. Life is fragile, and tomorrow is no guarantee. Cast off your families' viewpoint as you would a dirty shirt.

Answer 5

Well, however painful it is to accept reality, what’s done can’t be undone.  Remember, the s*x drive is pretty powerful, like the other basic drives of hunger and thirst. It overwhelms the intelligent just as it does the stupid.

Now you need to sort yourself out intelligently.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœImportance” and “innocent” are only moralistic terms you’re torturing yourself with in the throes of regret. Emotionally, it’s being hard to reconcile the goody image you’ve projected and the real you.

Indeed your flaws/weaknesses are just as much a part of you as your strengths. Owning them helps you put your ‘house’ – your self, your personality - in order, so in future, you’re far more in control of your thoughts, emotions, and especially actions.

It’s also prudent to have informed knowledge about safe s*x and contraception. It might be a good idea to talk to somebody whose experience you can trust, like parent/teacher or counsellor/doctor/healthcare person, and clear your doubts/misconceptions.  A timely medical checkup may be wise.

Answer 6

JUST PLEASE LISTIN ME IT IS SOimportant it makes your standers alot higher and peope cant go around saying your a w***e!

Please stay a virgin till marrige if you! GOOD LUCK!  U Will Get more respect form all guys and dont let them say (I love u, i want o be with you forever) if they mean it thelly wait on s*x!

Answer 7

I experienced a similiar reaction when I gave my virginity to my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years.

I was a month away from turning 17 and he was 18 at the time.

I was always told when growing up that virginity is to be given to the man that you think deserves it.

My mom also said that man SHOULD be my husband.

But, overall it was my decision.

You shouldn't feel bad or regret giving it to your boyfriend if you are in love with him and love him. Those two things are different but are very important.

You probably only feel bad because you made a promise to yourself and you broke it.

That will happen with pretty much any promise that you make to yourself that you break.

And just because you gave it to him does not mean that you have to stay with him even if he says he will stay with you forever.

ETC. unless of course you want to be with him.

Its not the end of the world.

Just be mature and don't lie to anyone about it.

It may seem easier said than done but trust me don't lie.

And also make sure you get on birth control...just in case you continue to have s*x. And it takes a month for any birth control pill to keep you from getting pregnant.

Use condoms too.

I hope i helped. if you have any other questions...please feel free to email me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

virginity lost it's importance years ago.

s*x is just casual now, it's not a big deal to many people.

but to some people it is.. like to you maybe. he sounds like a nice guy and if he really, truly cares about you, he probably wouldn't do anything to hurt you. but i could be wrong, guys can be total a******s sometimes.

calm down, everything will work out fine. this might not be a mistake, in the future you might find yourself happy about losing your virginity to this boy.

you don't need to worry. if you don't want anyone to know, just don't tell. and tell him not to tell.

hope i helped!:]

be careful.

Answer 9

h**l yes, that's the spirit.

I'm 19, above-average looking and still a virgin.  Keep it.  It keeps your value high!

Answer 10

Your are not stupid.  You seemed to have had a lapse in judgement.

You should be commended for having an oath of abstinance.  It's just that you gave in to your feelings and didn't listen to your real inner spirit.

I know it sounds trite and maybe a little insensative, but express what you feel to your boyfriend.  I am sure that you have a little guilt about what happened.  Let him know this.  Ask him if the two of you can hold off on doing this again.  If he truly loves you and he is "the one", he will be there with you.

Stay with your original thought and save yourself for marriage.

Guilt?  You said that you come from a conservative family.  I  suppose that could posssibly be a Christian home.  If so,  remember that God is always there to listen to you.  He is probably waiting for you to talk (pray) to Him now.  It may seem hard, but try it.

Again, I don't know if you are  religious or not, but I have found a lot of comfort and release from what is troubling me when I talk to my pastor.  This is really hard to do.  I am sometimes ashame to do so.  I have found, though, that a clergyman with  good listening ears and nonjudgemental attitude is very helpful.  

If this idea seems doable for you, try it.  Maybe you feel uncomfortable talking with clergy that you already know.  There is nothing wrong with seeing some other clergyman who doesn't know you.  They all are usually working for the same Guy.

The internet is a great place to get information but I feel this is one time that it is best to get face-to-face help.

God bless.  Go in peace with the grace of God.

Answer 11

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has moments they wish they could take back.

However, very few people in the United States are waiting until marriage these days... and it's an even bigger myth that everyone stay with one partner their entire lives. Marriage doesn't mean quite the same thing it used to. I would say it's fine to lose your virginity before marriage, as long as you understand what s*x means, for you, your future, and your relationship. In other words, make sure you're taking s*x seriously and not casually.

But your opinion of whether or not virginity is a big deal is the most important here. After all, it's your life, not your parents' or mine. Nobody else can tell you if you made a mistake, or if you and your boyfriend are really meant for each other.

I do have some advice, though: don't do anything unsafe, and don't go looking for conflict with your parents. Try to stay low on the radar.

Answer 12

Try not to worry so much...it's in the past now. Don't beat yourself up over it. s*x is a very personal decision....and it's your body. You have the choice in what happens.

As far as the love thing- there are people who are "high school sweethearts" and they stay together for a long time...you just never know. Enjoy the love while you have it and just see what happens.

You only live once, right? :)