Was i right to do this?

Question

I am loulou's auntie & she has let me come on her account. I have twin girls, Maria and Grace aged 5. I took them swimming the other day, i was helping Maria get changed & told Grace to wait as she and i were already changed. Maria was just putting her legs in the costume and Grace stood on the changing table & tried to climb out of the cubicle which was quite possible. I told her to get down but she ignored me. I told her she had to be down by the time i had counted to 3 or she couldn't play with her toy house that night (thats her favourite toy). One...Two...Three. She carried on. I told her she now couldn''t play with the house and i picked her up and put her on the floor. Continuing to get maria ready, Grace began climbing again, i told her if she didnt get down she wouldn't be able to play with the toy house for the next night aswel she turned around and shouted 'f*c* off'. I gave her 3 hard spanks on her bottom over her swimsuit, picked her up and put her back on the floor. She started crying but not badly. Now we were all ready, i told them to come to the lockers with me so i opened the cubicle door and they ran to the lockers. I was ok with this but i put the stuff into the locker, turned around and grace was gone. I asked Maria where she had gone and she pointed to one of the lockers giggling. I opened it and grace was sat in their...Maria had locked her in there! I told Maria that what she had done was naughty and she told me to f*c* off aswell. Just as i had with Grace, i gave Maria 3 hard spanks on her bottom over her swimsuit. The rest of the day went OK. Was i right with how i punished them? They just stress me out so much.

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Answer 1

I would have done the same AND not let them swim! Maybe even a bar of soap in the mouth too- just kidding. It's OK. They now know that it's not OK to use the "F" word or to speak to you like that. After all you were taking them swimming!  I just can't "wait" for mine to turn 5.....

((Hugs))

Answer 2

dang u should of spanked them some more

Answer 3

I think that your punishment was perfectly appropriate.  If I had pulled that at 5, my mother would have ensured that I wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for a week, and I wouldn't have been swimming either!  Kudos to you for the appropriate use of spanking!

Answer 4

Next time stick bars of soap in their mouths and keep them in time out, seperate all day.

I dont think it was wrong to spank them.  

Answer 5

yes you did the right thing. people now a days think that giving your child a spanking is abuse. i am sorry but that is far from abuse. if your child has done something wrong, something he or she knows they should not be doing...they need to be corrected. this is the only way they will learn. now i am not for slapping children, using a belt, or anything like that. but a spanking on the bottom is fine i see nothing wrong with what you did.  

Answer 6

i think what you did is just fine. i dont think it is harsh and it is right that you had scolded them at a very early each. i dont want to judge the parents of the children but i think they had been too lax and too lenient with child rules. you did just right. spare the rod and it will spoil the child. i think it would be very stupid of you if you just let them be. they are swearing at you and i think that is not a good sign. young children nowadays are becoming more rude these days. i would also suggest that you talk to the parents and tell them what heppened and voice your concern to them. even though you had scolded them for what they had done, once is not enough. it must also take the effort of both parents. =) i hoped i had helped.

Answer 7

You completely done right. Id get on my bf for his mouth aroud the kid too. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Filthy mouth especailly for a 5 year old, thats terrible. The parents need to realize what that creates and what that makes them look like.  

Answer 8

absolutely. i know we all hear that spanking is child abuse, ( thanks a lot dr phil) but i was smacked if i ever said anything like that in front of my mother and it sure taught me a lesson. i only ever did it once and i turned out o.k. and if my kids EVER said that to me i'd be doing the same d**n thing. i think so long as you don't go over board its o.k. i would have smacked their bottoms and marched them straight home for time out.  

Answer 9

I think you did very well just just lightly spank them but for the punishment i would have put their clothes straight back on and they would have not gone swimming.

Swimming would be classed as better than playing with the doll's house as they get to play with that all the time.

But well done anyway and remember do the punishment straight away and never leave it till later as that will just confuse them..

Answer 10

Every parent has a different way of disiplining their children, so really there is no right or wrong way to do so.

I haven't experienced any situation like this before because my baby is only 9 weeks old (boy do I dread when she can start talking back!), but I'll give you my opinion anyway.

I personally think that spanking is okay, to some extent. Although, if I was in your situation, I would have stopped, and told Grace that those words are un-acceptable and will not be tolerated. I know she's at the age where she can probably understand why she was being spanked, but you need to tell her why you are punishing her the way you are. Something like "Mommy doesn't like those hurtful words. They hurt mommy's feelings..." and I would definately make her apologise. Spanking doesn't nessissarily teach them not to do it again, because when I was younger, I knew that for giving my father attitude, I'd get a slap across the face, but I still continued to do it. Pain is temporary.  I know a lot of children don't really know what swear words or inappropriate words mean, but they know when they say them, they get a rise out of other people, so they continue to say it, just for the fact that it makes mommy mad, or makes mommy react.

I would just let her know that you dont like those words, and she is not to use them. I watch Nanny 911 and Supernanny a lot, so you know! lol. Perhaps a "Naughty Chair" could do the trick?

I can understand how they would frusterate you. But like they always say, you get more bees with honey than vinegar.

Answer 11

No five year old knows that kind of language.

Troll.

Answer 12

First of all..where did they learn those curse words from? How does she know how to use that word? I have always believed in spanking but sometimes the punishment doesnt last as long as it should ecspecially if they are cussing and not listening and being disrespectful. They will act up at age 5 but they should not cuss, and there is a way to get children to act right if you remind them that you are the adult and that if they do act up they will get punished to where they will not like it and remember not to do it again. You were right to take away her favorite toy that usually effects them the most. But I wouldnt still go out and let them play they will not remember what they are really getting punished for later on..they figure huh ''I can act out and cuss and not listen still get to go swimming and have fun..woopty doo if  I dont get my doll house.'' If you want the punishment to stick and to let them know right away that they are doing wrong then you need to punish them right away and keep it in effect til they learn their lesson, tell them that it will continue to get worse (the punishment) if they do it again, not only will they not get the house, they wont get any dessert any tv (cartoon) time, anyother toys, no play mates, time out corner. And if they continue to curse like that I would make them put a bar of soap in there mouths for a minute...see if they cuss then.

Answer 13

I would have spanked them as well...You need to let them know that those word are not ok to say...I am no saint and lord knows that I cuss at times...especially when I am mad and my kids know better than to repeat me....they are 4 and 2 and have never repeated any of my bad words....I am trying to be more careful but when you are in the heat of the momment...you don't think and things come out of your mouth! Good Luck with the girls! Must be hard with twins!!

Answer 14

kids dont make this stuff up. they learned it from somewhere.. d**n right you beat them for talking to you like that.. and maybe you should beat the person who taught them to speak like that. my girls are the same ages, and i would knock them senseless if they ever thought that was ok

Answer 15

No one is perfect and we all swear at some point of another as well as the fact these days, you can walk through a shop and hear swearing a thousand times, they are going to hear it from somewhere, that's not the point.

You had every right to spank them, that is not acceptable for a child to speak to someone like that, especially their mother. a few spanks now might be exactly what they need to nip it in the butt now instead of letting them get away with it and it getting worse as they grow older, if they say that now at 5, imagine what they would say or do at 15. You definitely did the right thing,  Actually I would of done the same thing, but as well - as soon as you got home (assuming it was in less then hour) give them a bar of soap to bite on and spit out, "to wash the bad words away", spanks are easily forgotten but the taste of that soap - yuck, anyone is bound to remember that and learn from it to avoid it in the future.