Was this unfair to me?

Question

I don't know how to feel about this... part of me thinks it's my fault. I don't think I was raped - just stupid.

I was at a party with a couple of close friends. I got REALLY really drunk. I guy friend of mine (ex-friend now) who hadn't been drinking at all took advantage of me... he held me down. i couldn't move. I kept saying no, but there was a bit of a laugh in my voice cos of course I was drunk! He really hurt me. I was only sixteen.

Was this my fault? I shouldn't have been drinking so much...

Answer 1

In answer to your question, NO, IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT.

This guy friend should have taken you home if you were that drunk instead of taking advantage of you.

Tell someone about it.

Answer 2

It was rape if you clearly said 'no' and he did not listen.

The fact that he held you down also suggests it was rape.

Please talk to someone close to you about this. Whether this is a best friend, family member or teacher.

Answer 3

Well if you were laughing, then he probably thought you were all for it.  But all in all, guys need to learn that when a girl says "no", by god she means "no."

Answer 4

This doesn't mean that this is your fault, but what is true, is that the risk was already there before you stepped into the door and had that first drink. It's part of the Risk Vs. Benefit situation.

Again, this isn't your fault, but at the same time, you could have done something prior to it.  

Answer 5

In the state of California, you were raped.  It is illegal to have intercourse with an inebriated female.  So, in California, you could easily press charges.  

If you feel raped, then you were raped.  Why were you drinking at 16?  That is illegal.  You don't have much of a case, but you CAN press charges.

Either that, or you can go into counseling and work out your issues.  Specifically, you need to deal with drinking under age.  You made your first bad decision when you chose to drink.  It has nothing to do with "Gee, I shouldn't have gotten so drunk."  The question you should be asking yourself is, "Why was I drinking at all?"

Also, in most states, if you utter the word, "no," then the tone of your voice doesn't matter at all.  No means no.

Answer 6

you were both irresponsible.  But yes, i would consider this rape on his part because he knowingly did this to you.  Even if you would have said yes and were drunk, you were still drunk and therefore he should not have even thought about doing what he did.  Are you going to press charges?

Answer 7

obviously no one asks to be taken advantage of, but you don't need to be told you shouldn't have been drinking either. when you do this you allow yourself to be taken advantage of knowingly or unknowingly. my personal opinion is there is equal shame. shame on you for drinking when you were sixteen and irresponsible and shame on him for knowing what he was doing to you and taking advantage of an easy target.

Answer 8

You were sexually assaulted there is no doubt about it. It was NOT your fault. There must be a sexual assault center that you can go to if you are having guilt or other issues.