Wedding Gift? What to give??

Question

I want to give my son ( who happens to be my only child) some money as a wedding gift.

I am divorced from his mom and i have re married.

I am earning just average wages but have known about the wedding for at least a year?

Should my wife (who incidentally is not close to my son & vice versa) buy the couple anything, or should the gift be joint?

Secondly, he asked me if i could help in any way towards the wedding, both her parents and his Mom have done a lot for them,

I refused as am going to give them some money as a gift.

What do you think a fair amount could be bearing in mind i am just on average wages, wife is a casual worker, but on the other hand i have known for a year that the marriage was taking place.

I earn $12 an hour

Answer 1

Don't tell them that you're giving a generous gift instead of a wedding gift. That doesn't mean anythign to them. They obviuosly needed your help to have the wedding they wanted, and you turned them down. Money received as a gift after the wedding doesn't make up for that.

It is your choice if you contribute or not, of course, but don't try to say you are contributing enough.

Secondly, since you are married, the gift should be from you and your new wife, regardless of how well she knows your son.  

Answer 2

Your son.. reguardless of how much you make or how long you known give what you can!  bottom line!  

ask him how much he is expecting!

Answer 3

First of all, $12 buck an hour is not average wage. Second, the gift should be from both of you, not just one or the other. Third, just because you don't want to contribute money doesn't mean you couldn't help in some other way. Call and see if there are any last minute details you can handle or pick up the day of the wedding. Offer advise and encouragement.

Answer 4

Working at twelve dollars an hour, you are very generous to wish to make any substantial monetary gift. I affirm your choice to decline contributing to the wedding. Your money is yours, to give when and where you choose; and your son is a grown man who must take the responsibility to support his own choices and his own wife without turning to his father any more.

Traditionally, the father of the groom would be responsible to pay for a dinner-party for just the participants in the wedding rehearsal. That party should be on a scale similar to a party that you might normally throw for friends or family for a special occasion: say, if you invited coworkers over for a Christmas gathering. I am guessing that about two hundred dollars would cover such a party, but you would know better than I what you normally budget for such a thing.

Also, traditionally, the father of the groom would give a gift of "holloware" -- the good serving dishes that the bride and groom might use for their own Christmas gatherings. These, too, should be of an equivalent quality to what you use in your own home. I know that a set of good, serviceable serving dishes can be had for about three hundred dollars, but again you know better than I what you are used to.

Using these guidelines, I would suggest that a gift of five hundred dollars is a good benchmark value to start with, and then adjust it according to your own assessment of your budget and style of living. But remember, too, that no gift is ever *required*. It is the fact that it is voluntary, and given from your heart, that makes it a "gift". God bless you for your generosity.

Answer 5

Well you could see if your wife wants to give them a joint gift, nothing too expensive and you could maybe help them out with the wedding or you could just help out with the wedding and not get them a gift at all, just explain it to your son.  I'm sure he would appreciate the help with the wedding expenses more than a gift (they'll get plenty of gifts from everyone else)  Do what you feel comfortable with and what you can afford, after all he's your son and I'm sure he'll understand.  Good Luck!