Wedding attire for personal attendants

Question

Hello! I am not sure if it is a midwest tradition or not, but for my wedding, I will be having 2 personal attendants (aside from my bridesmaids). I have chosen 2 friends who will not stand during the ceremony, but will still play a role in my wedding party, as they will help out with things specifically for the bride (making sure I have what i need, i.e. lipgloss, powder, hair etc). My question is this: Is there specific attire I should ask my personal attendants to wear? Should it match my bridesmaids? Should I even tell them what to wear at all? What is the ettiquette for this? Also, as I am giving gifts to my maids (their jewlery and shoes) should I do the same gifts for my personal attendants or just encourage them to wear whatever they want? Help!! Any input or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

Answer 1

If I were you, I'd tell them what your bridesmaids are wearing to give them the option of matching the colors, but don't force them to wear something specific.  They shouldn't wear exactly what the bridesmaids are wearing because that would be weird.  

Basically, you've asked these 2 friends to be at your beck and call so they won't be able to enjoy your wedding, without giving them the status of being bridesmaids.  It's not exactly the best position to be in and I know because I was there once.  

They should definitely get a gift, but something different from the bridesmaids.  I would choose something thoughtful that's not their jewelry or shoes.  

Answer 2

I would say if they are not actually standing in the wedding let them where whatever they want. However, I would still get them gifts since they are still helping you. Maybe you could ask them to wear the wedding colors as an alternative.

Answer 3

They should wear something special, in order to show that they are involved. Otherwise, they do all of the work and get none of the glory. You should also be sure to thank them at the reception, either during the announcement of the wedding party, or in your own speech to the crowd. For their dresses, consider a different style of the same color of dress, or a different color of the same style of dress. I wouldn't put them in the same dress as your bridesmaids.

Maybe it is a midwest thing, I've not seen that here in Florida (or at weddings in GA, SC, NY). I've always seen that the bridesmaids take care of these things...I always did when I was one, and mine did for me. It is odd that they are doing the work, but don't get to be part of the party. Accordingly, DO make sure to include them in the gift giving.

Answer 4

Never knew people actually did this.

A servant outfit, I suppose -

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/pem...

Answer 5

wear what they want , just not jeans

Answer 6

That isn't a midwest thing...I have lived in the midwest for my whole 42 years and have never heard of "personal attendants".  What you are describing they are doing is what the maid of honor does.

If they aren't standing up for you, it isn't your place to tell them what to wear or how to dress.  If you are having them help you, you need to give them some type of token of appreciation.

Answer 7

Are they younger? Could they be Jr. bridesmaids? Maybe that isn't it at all . . . Well, when I was younger an older girl asked me and another girl to be program attendants. All we did was pass them out but we got to wear fancy matching dresses with matching shoes and necklaces (that we picked out). I was pretty young but I remember that I really enjoyed getting to dress like the wedding party even though I wasn't in the ceremony. At the most recent wedding I was in we wore matching printed dresses that only cost $15 dollars but were beautiful. Ask them what they want to do. Depending on the formality and their desires could you afford to buy them dresses as your thank you for their help? They could be a less formal style than your bridesmaid's dresses but perhaps in the main color or accent color of you wedding. Whatever you do, make sure you make them feel like an important and special part of your day especially if you plan to work them pretty hard.

Answer 8

Since your personal attendants are not IN the ceremony, I don't think you should specify their wardrobe.  It sounds like they're 'behind the scenes' type people.  definitely give them a special gift;  the same type of jewelry as your maids would look nice in group pictures.  Personally, never having been part of a wedding w/ personal attendants I don't see the point of asking them to dress in your colors unless they're at the head table at the reception, really for the ceremony itself it seems they're guests.

Answer 9

They are going to be helping you all day, and deserve to be comfortable.  Let them wear whatever they want to, so they can pick it out themselves and it won't cost anything.  I would maybe get the same present you are getting the bridesmaids...what are you getting the bridesmaids?  If it is something specific for them to wear with their dress in the wedding, then don't do the same thing for the personal attendants.  I would find something that would work for everyone- a pretty necklace and earrings would work well.  If you decide to do the personal attendants different, then how about cute tote bags with bath stuff in them.