Wedding troubles!?!?

Question

Im the bride to be and I have a problem.My fiance and I told our families we will be getting married. His family is happy about it but my family not to much.None of my family will be attending.And the reason is because We are an interracial couple.His family has no problem with it but mine does..What should I do.Im jumping back and fourth on what type of wedding we should have because of this.I dont wanna get married and be left alone on that day with none of my family there and only his.Should i have the wedding or just find another option for just me and him and have neither of our families attend...=(

Answer 1

Listen to basket case - she has good advice. Remember you should have the wedding you want regardless of those who do or do not want to attend. I too am having this issue and after thinking it over for more than two years and trying to get my future in laws to accept me. I realized that they are the ones with the problem not me. I love my fiance but most important he loves me and wants me to be his wife. I've learned that I can not please everyone. I can only try but if I don't succeed it will not be the end of the world. I have included their names in my invitations, programs, and I have extended a personal invitation to them to attend our wedding. For my fiance's sake I hope they attend but if they choose not to I know in my heart God approves of my actions. I won't be rude to them and the door to my home will always be open to them. I will forgive their insults because I love my future husband and I understand that as children we cannot choose our parents like we can our friends.Have a beautiful wedding!!!

Answer 2

I think it's sadder than sad that your family is not being supportive of your decision to marry, regardless of your fiance's race.  I thought people were past that in the US, but apparently not.  

What you should do is have the wedding YOU want, regardless of family.  The wedding is to celebrate you and your new hubby, so you have it the way you've always wanted it.  I can't tell you to forget about your family, because that will be impossible for you to do.  BUT, I can tell you that if you stick to your guns on this, let your family know that you're getting married to your groom on this date at this time at this place, and you'd LOVE for them to be there, chances are SOMEONE will relent and show up for you.  I can't promise it, but I've seen families do this over a wedding, and usually someone breaks down and comes to support their family member.  It doesn't always happen, and I don't want you to get your hopes up that it will, but it usually does.  You plan the wedding you want, and give them the choice to attend or not attend.  If they choose not to attend, then remember THEY'RE the ones who have lost here--not you.  You'll be married to the man of your dreams, they're the ones who are letting small mindedness get in the way of getting to know what a wonderful man you've found.  

And, remember this--when you and your husband are married, his family IS your family.  I wish you and your fiance all the best!  Good luck!

Answer 3

Have a wedding, let his family attend. If none of your family is attending that is quite selfish of them. Try talking to them and ask them to come. But if you can't, then don't ruin your happiness for them. Let your friends be on your side, in stead of your family. And invite your family as well, just in case someone decides to show up after all...

His family is so supportive, they deserve to be in the wedding..

Answer 4

I'm really sorry to hear about that... If you really, really love him, then, in the long run, it won't matter what your parents think. Have the wedding, and if your family doesn't want to come, don't make them, but they should be horribly ashamed of themselves... It's you day, not theirs....and they should be happy that you found someone that you want to spend you life with! And you know, if only your fiance's family shows up, then you know what, you will have a supportive shoulder to lean on...or if you're really uncomfortable, you can always elope, but my suggestion is just to hold the wedding, and let the people who care about you come and join with you in your joyous day of celebration! I'm praying that all goes well for you though!

Answer 5

I would keep going with the wedding as planed,they will come around if they don't,it's their loss.Be happy and good luck.

                Debbie O

Answer 6

Marriage is about the marriage, not the wedding.   A small church wedding with flowers & a small intimate gathering afterwards or a dinner could be very nice and less stressful.

They should put their feelings aside but if this is deeply ingrained in them, you can't expect them to change in a short time.  They may never change.  It doesn't mean they don't love you.   They have a right to be wrong.  The harder you push, the less likely they will come around.  

Are you willing to give up your family forever?  If you are, it will be hard but you will have to go on.  They don't have to like or approve of your husband.  He's marrying you, not them.  Make your life about him & you.  Your marriage may be stronger because you need to turn to each other for support.  

Life will go on.  You don't need them to survive.   The more time you spend worrying about them, the more time you take from you and your fiance.  Every day you try to figure out how to fix it is one more day gone and wasted from your life.  

The comedian Jim Carrey suffered from depression.  He said he woke up one day and decided "to be happy".  It sounds simple but true.  Only you can decide how to spend your life, no one else can make you unhappy.

You can decide to be happy and love your husband and your life or miserable worrying about people you have no control over and can't change no matter what you do.

I hope you choose to be happy!

Answer 7

Most women have dreamed about their wedding day forever.  Don't settle for less than your dream. Perhaps you should sit down with your parents(without your fiance) and tell them your wishes and dreams.  Explain to your father how it would mean so much to you to have him escort you down the aisle.  Explain to your mother how much you need her help planning and choosing items for the wedding.  Perhaps they need time to digest and mull over your choice of your future husband.  Most importantly pray for their hearts to be softened.  Perhaps if your parents embrace the marriage, the rest of the family will follow suit.

Answer 8

I am sorry your family are such total moran idiots.. s***w them by missing the most important day of your life it really shows that their stupid closed minded opinions matter more to them then you do go ahead with the wedding of your dreams his family will be your family and they seem understanding and there for you

Answer 9

From planning my own wedding I have come to realize that weddings are a great time to show people what they mean to others.

If you love your man which I am assuming you do, don't let your family ruin your future and your wedding day. I think you should invite them out of good gesture and if they don't show up, don't worry about it. The people who truly love you unconditionally will be there to support you. Have a fantastic time and don't show your family that they ruined it in any way.

Answer 10

If his family supports you, then by all means let them be there. Talk to your family and basically nicely tell them that you're getting married whether they like it or not. Tell them they can either be there to support you, or they can sit at home, but if they sit at home, they'll miss out on an important event in your life. And if they don't go, then don't stress about it. Just enjoy your wedding anyway!

Answer 11

i think that you shouldnt let your family get in the way of your happiness. So it's an interracial relationship. You love each other, right???

Plan your wedding, have a great time, and be happy with your fiancee. If you family can't put asside their racism to see you happy, then they don't deserve to be a part of it!

Congratualtions!

Answer 12

Honey let me tell you this . I had two weddings and My family did not come to either one . My First marriage was to a Hispanic Man (I am white) . When he passed away 20 years later they loved him like family. They hoped a would marry a good white man the second time but I fell in love with a an Arabic man From Western Sahara . They did not come to that wedding either as it was in Morocco . They are still not speaking to me 6 months later . I do not regret my wedding ceremonies and do not regret they were not there because We were celebrating our love for one another and announcing it to the world  . Both were unique and beautiful and I am very happy . Please do not give up your plans just to make others Happy , do what makes you and your future husband happy !!

I wish you both the Very Best Of Luck and may God Bless your marriage !

Answer 13

I say have a destination wedding. in the end your family might support you once they know that they can't stop you. and eventually they will learn to love him as a person as you have. defiantly try to include them (especially sisters and cousins and such as they are from your generation and will be more likely to see your point of view) and invite everyone. but if they choose not to come that is their deal as the wedding symbolizes your leaving your family to create a new family unit with your husband anyway. this should have no impact on your marriage which will last your whole life the wedding is just a day in the beginning (child birth is painful too but the outcome is far more rewarding than the event!)

Answer 14

well I'm sorry to hear about your family. that is a petty reason not to be there for you on the best day of your life. anyway...still do all of your wedding stuff, and plan your big wedding (if that's what you want). have all of your friends sit on your side or just have an usher let everyone know to fill up both sides of the pews equally.

Answer 15

Talk ti voer with him.  you can do a wedding just you and him, a private and special day.  then do a family party with his side later that day or on a later date.

just be sure he's ok not having his family!