What's wrong with me?

Question

why am i crying so much right now? why do i want to hurt myself? theres nothing wrong in my life i have everything i could ever ask for. i'm not stressed or anything i've been getting upset so much lately but i don't know why. i yell at my mom a lot i get upset with my horse when he used to be the only one who could make me feel better. why do i miss the boy that went out with me over a year ago just so he could use me? why do i wish i could just dream in my sleep for the rest of my life? i don't know what's wrong with me. i go out at night and party, i'm social and i have friends. but i can't stand myself lately or anyone or anything around me.. i think it's deeper than that i just can't figure it out.. please help.

Answer 1

Despair and wishes to harm the self are hallmark symptoms of clinical depression, as are wishes of escape (like to your dreams), desire to return to a happier time, and irrational anger.  Depression is serious business, and it often has no casually discernible cause.  Most psychiatrists and psychologists chalk it up to hormonal imbalances or chemical deficiencies in the brain.  A person suffering from clinical depression can "have everything" and still not be happy.  Perhaps the worst symptom of clinical depression is the feeling of despair, that there's something wrong but you can't figure out what it is, or that you'll never be happy again.  

If you're dealing with a desire to hurt yourself, you should talk to a qualified professional about it.  See your family doctor, explain your emotional state, and ask if he/she can give you a referral to a psychologist.  Left unchecked, depression can destroy your life both figuratively and literally.

Maybe you do need some kind of religious fulfillment, but no god is going to "fix" your problem if you've got clinical depression.  More often than not, the restrictions imposed by organized religions can make people suffering from depression feel even worse about themselves because they aren't "good" in their religion's eyes.  

Answer 2

Sweetie, your answer is deep within as you say. It lies in your very soul. You need God and His Son, Jesus, in your life. You have all the earthly things as you stated and all should be well, but He is trying to draw you to Him. Only He can fill the void left by our futile pursuit of the things of this life.

Actually, God does have more to do with it than you think. By the way, you can search forever, but there is nowhere in God's word that says,"God helps those that help themselves." It is a man made saying. The Bible actually says that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It also says "Apart from God, nothing is possible." Whether we recognize Him or not, He is the Creator of all.