What Should Be My Next Move?

Question

Me and my ex gf, Y, has been together for quite some time before we broke up 2months ago. Now we've started talking again and going out as friends.Y has someone in mind, which is B. But B has marriage problems. And during that time when we both split up. They both needed to talk to someone and soon they start to develop feelings.

Y knows that eventually nothing will blossom from that. But she just wants to enjoy the best moments of it before it comes to an end. And the feeling B gave her was different from mine and others. She enjoy the times they spent together and company.

Y knows I've always been waiting for her, we had a good talk about it and she really wants me to just treat her as a normal friend like how she's treating me. She wants me to let go of her and move on with my life. And to stop harboring hopes that we'll still be able to get back in future, just let nature takes its course. She said if we are meant to be together we won't be able to escape from it.

I know she's the one I've been wanting to find all these while and I really do hope in future there's still a chance for me to get back with her. Ultimately I want her to be happy also. And I've PAINFULLY decided to really let her go and move on with my life.

And the last thing she said was she's reeling a TINY line for me to hold on to just like any other guys out there. We are quite good friends for now and I really wish I can still get her back in future. What do you think i should do? Should I belief in the signs and indications too? Pls help!

Answer 1

You need to let her go.  what the heck is that about a tiny line?  So she puts a hook in you and leaves the line there so she can reel you in if she wants to later on?  That is just wrong.

The best thing to do (especially if she can go from love to casual friend in 2 months (!!!)) is to just cut off all ties to her and move on.  Take it from me, I just recently moved on after hanging onto a thread from my soon-to-be-ex wife for the past 2.5 years.  Being separated and hoping is being in relationship purgatory for the whole time, until you finally are able to "grow an emotional pair" and let her go.

As troubling as it might seem, she's already made her decision, she just wants you out there on a line in case she later decides she made a mistake.  Cut the line now and you will know one way or the other quickly, instead of letting her (with your help) drag your heart across the red-hot coals of despair for the next x number of months/years.

good luck regardless...you deserve better than what you see as your current situation.

Answer 2

Breaking up is never easy and it sounds as though you are having the very normal feelings that many of us do. But you need to live your life as well. At the very least, she's been flirting with a married man, while she is keeping you in the cooler, just in case.

You deserve to be happy and the first step is to really get the idea that the two can be together, out of your head. Being friends is fine, but you should really not be alone with her and limit your phone conversations You need some time and distance for healing and it's okay for you to do that.

Answer 3

"for quite sometime" is how long?  Weeks, months, years???  That will differentiate ur feelings and hers.  How was the relationship? Casual, interesting, intimate, friendly? If she could very fast change from A to B, what are u waiting for her then? Her feelings are not real, I guess.  

Let her go.  You never know what comes next for you.  There could be someone out there who deserves you.  Life is not perfect.  

There is always a breakup somewhere. Whether you like it or not.

Then you think. Where did u go wrong? What did u do wrong? etc etc etc