What are your thoughts??

Question

please dont judge me on this...I am obviously asking because I want to do the right thing.

my friends bf's birthday is today an they are havin a little party at her apartment where people will be drinking..i want to go but i will have my baby.. i havent done anything "bad"...for over a year n a half...i still want to be able to go have fun...but i know not to do it if only I will be able watch her. My neighbor who i have been friends with since we were 4 told me she would come along and not drink so that i could have fun...but i still feel like im being a s**+tty mom... what do i do... i dont think its fair to my baby that i jus ignore her so i can have fun but i also dont think its fair that i never get time for myself to go have fun with my friends.. i dont plan on getting wasted ...jus 2-3 drinks...but i feel like im not being a good mom

Where is the happy medium? Am I a horrible person or mom even if there is someone else who has agreed to take care of her??

Answer 1

That's the thing about having children.  Your life becomes for them, and not for yourself.  If you feel like doing something will make you a bad mother, then your conscience is already giving you your answer.  I don't think your child should be subjected to an environment where there will be people drinking.  Even if someone has opted to stay sober.  I would recommend that you go and have fun with your friends and don't drink either so that you have no risk of hangover or overdoing it and can take care of her later.  It should be the time spent with friends that is fun, not drinking...if you have to drink to have fun then there are other issues.  

If you feel you MUST go, ask your friend or a family member you can trust to watch your child overnight so that you can sleep off the alcohol and not drive or try to care for your child with alcohol in your system.

Answer 2

I personally would not take my baby to a party that I knew people were going to be drinking at.

Why cant the neighbor babysit her for you so you can go?

Everyone needs to get away for a while, so your not a bad mom for wanting to go have some fun. Just make sure she is being taken care of somewhere else first.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You are not a horrible mom!! Everyone needs a day or night for themselves, even being a parent. Wanting to go out doesn't make you a bad person and worrying about this just means you are a good mom!! I wouldn't take a child to a party where people will be drinking, but if your neighbour will watch for a bit while you go for a couple drinks its not a big deal! Have fun!

Answer 4

OK, you are a parent now - child comes first.  If you can go and have one drink being happy with that, then OK.  If you plan on getting sloshed because you know your friend will drive you and your child home, then you need to stay home.  Who's going to take care of the child once you're home alone?  If you have a husband that you were going to the party with, then I think it would be less of a problem because you will both go home and he could tend to the child.   I think it would be best not to go if you can't hold it back to one drink.

Answer 5

Why don't you just have your neighbor watch her at your house and you go to the party without the baby. A party is not a place for a baby especially if drinking is going on. And give yourself a break. You are a mother not a nun, it is OK if you have a few drinks. I don't think it is OK to take the baby to the party though.

Even if you dont drink I would not take her, a party is just not a place for a baby. And you deserve time away anyway.  You did not say how old she is but infants can get overstimulated in loud places like a party. It would be best if she just stayed home in my opinion.

Answer 6

I don't think that would be a good place for a baby to be, it would be better to plan a day when your husband can watch the baby or you can find a babysitter so you can go out with your girlfriends.