What do you think? comment please?

Question

My mother read me fairy

Tales, once upon a time,

She sat me on her knee

And sang to me in rhyme,

She told me of Cinderella

And how she went to the ball,

I know about snow white,

She’s the fairest of them all,

I often use to wonder

Just what I would do,

If I had a fairy god mother

To make a wish come true,

If I had that wish to day,

I ’d be on my mothers knee,

Listening to her stories

And have her sing to me.

Answer 1

its not bad the ryhming is good and its just the right length though the ending is a tad weak

good job

Answer 2

I liked it , thought it was really nice the way you used part of the nursery rhyme in your poem -- clever!

Now my opinion on this last part!

If I had that wish to day,

I ’d be on my mothers knee,

Listening to her stories

And have her sing to me.

I  felt that if the last line was

To make a wish come true,---

this would polish it-- I didn't feel those extra verses were necessary and kind of felt it left it hanging---My opinion--either way I still liked it !  Cheers !!!

Answer 3

"Hi!"

It's a lovely poem. displaying great childhood memories and love to your mother. your mother would be very happy to receive a poem such as this from her son.

WELL DONE!  : )

P.S:

L6 (And how she went to the ball), Needs to be revised as it makes the poem not flow smoothly. everything else is spot on.

suggestion.

take out 'And' definitely,

and leave it as that or try...

who danced away at the ball or

Dancing away at the ball.

my opinion only.

Cheers : )