What exactly is "adoption koolaid?"?

Question

I've seen it mentioned here several times. Just wondering what that means exactly?

Answer 1

Ha!  Sorry about that.  I'm not the one who coined it, but there are a lot of biological mothers who use it when talking about their experience when it comes to adoption when blogging.

The idea is that adoption is perceived and presented as a win-win scenario.   If love and caring is involved, then the loss that comes with adoption is seriously minimized.  A lot of people in society drink the adoption koolaid.

Often those who don't drink the adoption koolaid are considered bitter or angry.

Let me surf the web a bit and I'll bring back some blog links that illustrate the idea well!

These are some biological mothers discussing adoption koolaid:

http://wetfeet.typepad.com/wet_feet/2006...

http://paragraphein.wordpress.com/2007/0...

http://writingmywrongs.typepad.com/writi...

Adoptees:  their whole blogs tell exactly why we shouldn't drink the adoption koolaid.

http://ungratefullittlebastard.blogspot....

http://miassavinggrace.wordpress.com/

http://joy21.wordpress.com/

http://ibastard.wordpress.com/

Did that help any?  The idea is that society thinks adoption is this wonderful act.  That people who give their babies away are cool beans and wonderful when that act holds enormous consequences to not only the parents but to the child too.

There are plenty of people who think "oh that didn't affect me that much... it isn't that big a deal." but it is.

Adoption is not sunshine and daisies.  We need to be real about the consequences of adoption.

Answer 2

Only magicpointeshoe uses it, and she is probably most qualified to define it.  But my educated guess would be "propoganda that pushes adoption against the best interests and wishes of the biological mother."

Answer 3

I've never heard of that.

Answer 4

I'd have to say I've never heard of that

Answer 5

Adoption Koolaid is a term used by some to describe the "all-happy-all-joy-all-the-time" mentality many people and agencies espouse and promote. It is an inaccurate and imbalanced portrayal of a very complex situation that also involves loss, stress, and conflicting emotions.

Though adoption is often wonderful, it isn't only wonderful, ya know?