What happened to common courtesy?

Question

I have always been polite,and easy going.I always hold the door open for people and say excuse me when in someones way.WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ELSE!I started high school not long ago,I held the door open for probably 75 to 100 kids.Do you know how many thank yous I got?FIVE!5 out of 100!What do they think the door holds itself open!Why is this,I was raised in the same type of place they were.The only diif. is that me and my family are on the poor side.I would really like the thing from that song.

You know the one where they go R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Answer 1

Whatever makes you think it was EVER common?

While holding the door, you might say "you're welcome" not only to those who thank you, but also to those who don't. It MIGHT alert them to the fact that you're holding the door open.

BTW, there's partly a "follow the leader" effect going on here. That is, if, by chance, the first person or few people don't thank you, it's more likely the next gabunch of people won't either.

Also, some people may have acknowledged you non-verbally (nod, smile -- something that means the same as "thank you" but isn't spoken).

If you're doing it to get other people to be more polite, don't expect to get huge results, or immediate results. You might inspire a bit more politeness in a few people, but, unless it "catches on" that's as much as you can realistically expect.

There's nothing wrong in being a good example to others, but don't fall into the trap of doing this in a rude way. If you find you're getting really peeved you should stop doing it, rather than let your annoyance out.

After all, none of these people asked you to hold the door.

Answer 2

I get your point. However, as Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  In other words, you are setting an example for others. Some may remember the next time they open a door, but probably most won't. What it comes down to is this, if you want to be polite, that's a wonderful thing. If you're expecting to be rewarded each time you're polite or chivalrous then you're bound to be let down. Kindnesses that are done from the heart are done with no expectation of anything in return. Just keep on being the light and maybe a few other  candles will be lit.

Answer 3

Your experience sounds very frustrating!

At least five people responded well to your politeness.  Perhaps you can use that as a way to decide who to spend time with at your new school.  

Being on the poor side, middle-class, or wealthy may or may not correlate with common courtesy, basic decency, and the respect we owe to each other.  You can research by spending time with the polite people at your school!

Please go easy on others and on yourself, too.  Starting a new school, especially high school, can be a daunting task.

Answer 4

you know, i often wonder the same thing. one of my goals is to be this bright ray of sunshine that makes every body feel good and happy. as cheesy and lame as that sounds. but some people make it so hard. lol

Answer 5

Unfortunately, common courtesy ain't so common.  Continue using your manners and being courteous.  You will stand out in the crowd.  Don't drop your manners when around your friends.  They will notice and hopefully a bit of it will rub off.  Congratulations, you have my respect.