What if you had too much?

Question

Dead Sky In Mourning

Rotting here inside my head

So tired of living in dread

Greener grass or so they said

Loading up the last of the lead

I never was my own boss

Now all of my dreams lost

Again I can’t afford the cost

No more coins left to toss

Tick tock sitting with my Glock

Old guy last one on the block

Crippled chair unable to rock

Ironside stuck to the dock

I’m so tired of sailing

Hurting so bones are wailing

Arms broken and flailing

Sinking fast tired of bailing

Once again I’m going down

Go away please let me drown

Lost everything I have found

My silence is the only sound

See the gray in my hair

I’ve had it up to there

No one with whom to share

Losing all my will to care

No longer to be the yo-yo

This is my final solo

Tighten up on my bolo

You can’t save me oh no

Don’t tell me it’s madness

You can’t feel my sadness

I’ve failed my last test

I’ll clean up my own mess

As the moment starts to near

Downwind again I steer

In darkness I see so clear

Nothing left to those I held dear

Looking down with upturned eye

Waking up to my last red sky

Gave it all my very best try

No more tears will I have to cry

I’m ready to die

©rad111504

That was then...I'm here now.

Answer 1

EDIT: Good that the dark days were then!

Answer 2

d**n! that is some powerful stuff... you should try to publish it...

you had me in near tears....

Answer 3

OK I'll be the one to say it.....way too much Dark Prince in this. (bless his memory) Be aware Hydropro there are youngsters and strugglers who are still in the cyclonic spin of self doubt and self damage. (not I) we as poets need to measure our words (although spoken in truth and shared with guts) so it doesn't get misinterpreted (desparate people may not read the last line)

As a journey to the edge it is a very powerful poem.  I am so glad you are here. :-) sorry to be a killjoy.

Answer 4

I'm so glad you made it to today...none of us ever knows our worth to another, whether in this virtual world or in our everyday real world.

Answer 5

I'm so glad those days are gone!

I don't care for "dark" poetry, but I wanted to say you did a good job with that one.

Good morning, friend.

Answer 6

I am glad you got that off your chest.  Darkness can grip with a hold that is numbing and stifling.  The one thing we can always take with us is that everyone is on a similar track, although some may seem more 'elevated.'  Tears are steam pressure valves. Use them.  

Answer 7

Too much is worth it :)

Answer 8

Good poem, but I rather not read stuff like this. I just pulled through another cycle of depression.

Answer 9

Fantastic, I really liked this poem, and I have felt the same way--It has a great amount of emotion

I have one up, drop me a line sometimes

**Shame people have such an aversion to dark poetry, there is beauty in everything and it is a shame to limit ones self

Answer 10

Perfect!

Answer 11

that was absolutely amazing...

it was so powerful.

great job

Answer 12

Deep inner feeling expressed, still we do survive, miracles  do exist.

alive through  dark,to light. "I never was my own boss."

Are any of us truly our own boss?

This is a good bottom to hit, if we choose to rise, thank God you did!

or we would have missed reading, your human heart, so well expressed. Kudos