What to say about undisciplined children?

Question

Whenever my sister-in-law talks about coming over she says things like, "and I'll bring my crazy children over to disrupt your peaceful life" I never know what to say to that, so I normally just change the subject and tell her I look forward to seeing her. Then she always cancels and doesn't come. The fact is that her children are unruly and it is really disruptive to have them come over because they don't listen to anyone (including their parents) some of it has to do with their ages 4 and 2 but mostly it is that they do as they please (jumping on the furniture, chasing my dogs, going through my fridge and cabinets) and whenever they are told to stop doing something they laugh and go on to the next thing (or just keep doing it). It is obvious from my sil's comments that's she is aware of the problem, but not enough to start disciplining her children (they even run into the street sometimes because they don't listen).

This is damaging our relationship. Any suggestions for what I should say, do when she remarks how her children are unruly?

Answer 1

Be like "Yea, maybe I should help you out with that!". See what she says and take it from tehre.

Answer 2

its not your place to tell her how to raise her kids or how to disipline them. if you say something to her she will think you are telling her she is a bad mother. just disregard what she says. and go over to her house and visit if your that bothered byt it.

Answer 3

It isn't your place to tell her how to raise her children. I've been in this situation, and sometimes you just want to scream at the parents for the way their children are acting. Just bite your tongue, because there's nothing you can do about it. What you CAN do though, is set rules for your house. Make sure the parents enforce, those rules, not you. Tell your SIL that you're really sorry, but unless her children follow these rules, they will no longer be welcome in your home. It's harsh, but it needs to be done. I did that with a friend of mine who's kids are crazy.

Answer 4

I know how this is. I mean, you really want to tell someone to do something about these unruly kids! But I don't really think it's any of your business and you can't tell her how to raise her kids. I mean, if someone saw me give my child a little slap on the behind or something like that, I would be very annoyed if someone told me not to do that. So I guess you just have to live with it while you two get together. I know it's really bad, but that's the way it is. :)

Answer 5

When she makes that statement to you, say right back at her"yes your children are out -of-control, and you need to correct them), if this hurts her feelings mam, there's nothing you can do about that! All you can do is truthfully tell her the truth(about disciplining her kids), or when they are with her at your house YOU WILL DISCIPLINE THEM!And she IS NOT TO SAYANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT IT!She knows her kids are unruly, but she's looking for someone else to correct them instead of her(for whatever reason?)Tell her, her kids are tearing up everything you have worked for, and when they are your house, IF THEY DO NOT ASK FIRST), to get them a drink, or whatever, they can not have it! Mam, with you being silent when those kids are jumping on your couch isn't helping her, nor is it helping those kids, and it isn't helping your furniture, tell her (lovingly), if she cannot control her kids THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED BACK IN YOUR HOUSE! If your relationship is important to her like it is you, she'll start to correct her kids, just so she will be able to come back to your house!Tell, you hate to do this, but she has left you no other alternative!God forbid, that something has to happen to her kids!!!(LIKE THE STREET), before she wakes up and corrects her kids! Good Luck! AND MAM[DO NOT BACK DOWN, IF SHE REALIZES YOU ARE SERIOUS ,SHE WILL START TO CORRECT HER KIDS]!!!i KNOW MAM, IT WILL BE HARD FOR YOU, BUT IT WILL HELP HER IN THE LONG RUN, AND MAYBE (I pray nothing has to happened to them, before she starts using her head,and MAYBE HER HAND)!May God Give you the courage, strength  to do what you have to do for you & her!Maybe she could bring over some of their toys to play with, while she's visiting you(after they are disciplined)!Also, tell mam, what kind of a strain, its putting on yours & her realationship!I'll pray for you& her & her kids!Maybe she could bring over coloring books&crayons to color (after the disicplinary actions!But not before! Cause you end up with crayons on your walls!Just be truthful!

Answer 6

Parents!!!!