When good moms go bad?

Question

So, it finally happened to us last night. Aaron fell off the bed. He cried for about 90 seconds, then some brilliant distraction from Dad made it all better. As for me, I was sick to my stomach for the rest of the night. The joy of seeing Aaron do his first real crawl yesterday was tempered by this other not-so-exciting milestone.

I know, I am a terrible mother. Okay, I understand that just about everyone knows how I feel. If they don't, they will, have been extremely cautious, are lying, or lucky. So, if you feel it necessary to call me bad names, go ahead. I can take it.

So, what I really want to know is, when did you feel like you hit your parenting low? Commiserate with me, please.

Answer 1

Oh well at least when child services come for Aaron you'll have more time to come on here. LOL. Mine was when my eldest was just 12 hours old. We came home from the hosptial early and had just put him in his crib and he started to cry, so I picked him up and banged his head on the mobile. Needless to say it got thrown accross the room double quick and was never used again.

And for me (I hope I'm not the only one) when my kids have bruises and scrapes I always panic that people will think that I'm the one hurting them.  

Answer 2

Took baby to the emergency room at 4 days because we freaked out, nothing wrong with the baby at all. We sat there and watched nurse after nurse try to take blood and fail. They tried 12 times total with 4 different nurses. Then one fat male nurse came in to take her temperature and stuck the thermom. up too far and pulled it out with blood on it. I told them all to get the f>>k out of the room until some "professionals" could do the job better. I stayed there for almost 8 hours fighting with every sh"tty doctor and nurse came in until a really nice nurse came down from the NICU and told us the baby was fine and we could go home. If I ever see any of those nurses or doctor on the street I will punch them.

But be really careful with the baby because social services and doctors don't care if it was an accident if the baby is injured in any way. It happened to a friend of the family. THe baby fell off daddy's chest b/c both fell asleep, onto the floor and broke her arm. They had to have regular social service visits for 6 months afterwards because they just wanted to make sure. I don't know if this is good or not, I have mixed feelings but just be careful. I don't say this to make you feel bad, I am sure you are a great mommy. I am just saying that these folks don't care if it is an accident or not if there is an injury.

Answer 3

It happens to everybody...I felt like that once when my now 17 month old fell off my bed 10 months ago..I was up checking on him EVERY hour since he fell on his head..and you know what I got out of it..sleep deprivation and thats about it..he was fine and happy..didn't even have a bump..and a few months later while I was co-sleeping..all of a sudden I heard a thud and then got up asap..he crawled off my bed to go play with the night light ::rolls eyes:: It has to happen and it will not be the last bump he will get and again you will feel horrible..but it is part of life...

Answer 4

Ok, I think mine tops everyone else's and some people just may think less of me when I tell the story. Keep in mind that I HATED myself for days after this and even thought she was better off without me. My husband finally got me out of my stupor and helped me realize that it was an ACCIDENT.

I use candle melters, you know the ones that just melt the wax, instead of actually lighting them for fragrance. I thought for sure I had them all in a safe place where my daughter couldn't reach them. Well, when she was about 1 1/2, she was getting taller and I noticed (at the last minute, of course) that she can now reach one of them. She grabbed the candle (filled with melted wax), so I ran over there and grabbed the other side of it, thinking I could just simply pry her little hand off of it. She wouldn't let go of it and jerked. The wax poured everywhere. On my hand, on her hand, on the floor, on her arm, and even on her head. I freaked out! The wax immediately hardened and I right away took her into the bathroom and started frantically cleaning it off. It seemed like everything was going in slow motion and that it took forever to get it all off (especially out of her hair). But, I realized that she stopped crying and just watched me clean her up. To my surprise, she was not burned at all. Thank the Lord...  not even a remote redness where the wax was. But then, after she was all cleaned up and even started playing again as if nothing happened, I began to really loathe myself for it. For several days afterwards, I cried myself to sleep and thoughts ran through my head that I was the worst mom in the world. My husband finally realized I was pretty much depressed, so I told him my thoughts and he made me realize that it was an accident, we thought it was in a safe place, and now it is gone and it can't happen again. She is fine. No burns, no marks whatsoever. Her hair wasn't burned or melted. Quit beating yourself up for it.

So yeah, that was THE worst moment ever! Do you guys hate me now?

Answer 5

When i smacked my two week old son in the soft spot with the dogs retractable leash, while trying to keep the bugger from getting hit by a car full of teens.  He didn't even cry but I felt like absolute DIRT.

Answer 6

Let's see - there was the time I shut my son's hand in the car door, the time I accidentally whacked my daughter in the head with the fridge door, the time my other son - when he was a baby, rolled off the bed.  Accidents happen - no matter how careful and how watchful you are.  It's called life.  Yeah, I felt like an awful mother after all of those, plus more that happened I just can't remember right now, but the kids are fine and I'm fine.  You get over that feeling.  Don't beat yourself up so bad over it.  

Answer 7

Landon hasn't fallen off of the bed yet, but he has fallen off of the couch onto hardwood floors. It happens. The time I felt like the worst mom in the world was when he was about 6 weeks old. We had gone shopping about 30 minutes away from home and I kept him in his carseat the whole time covered with a blanket. We got out at a couple of stores then came home. When we got home I realized I had never buckled him into his seat, and I didn't notice it because he had a blanket over him. I automatically thought about what would have happened if we had wrecked, or if I had tipped his seat too far up and he had fallen out. I felt terrible, but he never knew the difference.

Answer 8

You shouldn't really think of it as bad parenting. People have to have there own freedom to make mistakes or accel in whatever we do. Wether we are babies or adults. The baby will learn eventually not to crawl off the bed. As long as he doesn't break any bones or get extremely hurt he will learn. Your not a bad parent.  

Answer 9

Yes.....Eli fell off the couch when he was about 3 months old.  I was SO EXHAUSTED and he would not go to sleep unless he was on my tummy.  So there I was, taking a nice nap with my precious little son and BOOM.  My arm must have gone limp when I actually fell asleep.  I felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAD.  

But he's fine.  I think I'm slowly getting over it.  And that was 7 months ago!!!!  I think he was over it in 10 minutes. :)

Moms make mistakes all the time.  It's a learning experience that only makes us human.  

Answer 10

All babies are going to fall at one point or another. Riley did his first time a few days ago. It didn't bother him one bit. We were sitting on the couch and Riley slide down, turned on his belly and slid off the couch (as if he knew how to get down). Once his feet were on the floor he let go and fell backwards onto his back. I was so shocked. Tyler (my oldest) distracted me for those few seconds that gave Riley the chance to do it! I almost caught him but I was half a second too late. He just looked at me, stunned, and instead of panicking I said "uh oh what happened, did you fall??" and Riley just started laughing like crazy.

You're not a bad parent at all!! It happens, it's part of their growing up--he's going to fall alot more when he starts trying to walk.

Congrats on his newfound mobility....Riley is almost there...a few more days and he'll be completely mobile (except for walking) and he'll be into even more than he is now!!

EDIT: Wait I got another one!!

Tyler was staying up late with his daddy & me & Riley were sleeping. At the time Riley was sleeping in a pack-n-play (the bassinet part). Well I woke up to hearing Riley cry (a normal cry) and I walked over to the pack-n-play and Riley wasn't in there. Tyler must've picked him up and put him on the floor, Riley was probably no more than 2 months old.

Answer 11

You are not a bad mom, despite what anyone else says.  No matter how much you love your children or how careful you are, they will get hurt and you will feel bad at some point.  Any parent who says they've never accidentally bonked the baby's head on the carseat or let them roll off the bed, etc. is a liar.  A few weeks after we brought home our first baby from the hospital we were getting ready to leave, he was crying in his carseat, where he'd been sitting for his nap, and I covered his seat with a blanket (it always made him stop crying).  When we left, my husband took the seat and strapped it in to the car.  When we got to the doctor's office a few miles away, we removed the blanket to find that neither of us had strapped him into the seat!  Worst mommy guilt ever.  I ALWAYS double check now.

Answer 12

Just realize that things are going to happen.  It sucks, but it really isn't your fault.  Yeah, shoulda coulda woulda... But you know, they are going to get bumps and bruises.  I'm not saying to just leave your baby on the bed and walk away, lol, but you know, kids are going to have accidents.  It's just a fact of life.  

And you feeling the way you do proves that you are a good mom!

Answer 13

I haven't hit it with Brady yet, but when my daughter Lavina was on the move, we used to put a suitcase in front of the stairs as the baby gate didn't fit properly. I was on the computer and she managed to move the suitcase and started going up the stairs (for the first time) Next think I know I hear a major crash, look up to Lavina on her back upside down on the stairs. My heart just dropped and I didn't put her down the rest of the night. I felt like the worst mother ever and it didn't help that my mother was staying over the night and ripped me a new one for letting her go up the stairs.

Answer 14

Yeah, I am sure that this won't score me any points with the Mom Patrol, but here is my shining moment...

When my oldest son was about 20-months old, my husband and I were bringing in groceries. At the time, the door leading to the garage didn't automatically close. Anyhow, I thought he was in the living room with his sister, but apparently he wandered out the door at some point in the chaos of bringing in groceries. The BEST part was that he was naked....we had just been in the sprinklers before dad came home from the store.

Anyhow, our neighbor (thank God) was outside, saw him wandering around naked in our driveway, and came over to deliver him to our front door. In all, he was outside for maybe two minutes. But it was a great treat opening the door to find my neighbor holding my grinning, naked toddler!! Good times!

The very next weekend, my husband put an automatic closer on the door.

Answer 15

For some odd reason, I never put a night light in our room and would feel around in the dark when I went to comfort my son when he woke up, which was okay for the longest time. One night it was unusually dark and I went into the room to pick him up, etc. I couldn't see him. So I was -carefully- feeling around to pick him up and I accidentally poked him in the eye! He gasped and finally after a few seconds started wailing. It made me cry.. I felt so bad. It took a good few minutes to calm him down. Here he thinks, "Mommy's here to rescue me!" and I go poking him in the eye :( I was soooooooo cautious from then on. It ate me up for a while. Needless to say we now have a night light.

Answer 16

Same thing for me!!!  It happened last Wednesday night and I hated myself for days!  My husband is/was out of town so both of the boys were sleeping with me (wanted to be sure I could hear the baby) and I woke up to my 6 month old crying (not a normal cry).  I felt like the scum of the earth.  I thought I had taken all of the safety measures but it still happened.  Luckily, he fell on a pillow that I had placed by the bed and was perfectly fine.  Although, I did have to stay up and watch him for 2 hours which meant very, very little sleep that night.  I'm just glad he was okay.  That's my worst-mom- (so far) moment.

Yay to the crawling, how exciting!!!

Mine sat up from a laying position yesterday, I was so proud!

ETA: for ticktock... Not at all!!  That could happen to any one of us!  Rosie has a great point, we all live and learn.

Answer 17

UGHhhh The other night, the night before last actually, I was cleaning the bathroom..sweeping, wiping things down and organizing all the products and such..while Brody's father had come by for a visit, so they were in the room together. Well while Brody's diaper was being changed his father yelled for my help..ha lol I guess he had peed all over him and my bed (no changing pad underneath...irks me!!) So I said, let's just give him a bath. So his daddy was giving him a bath and I was organizing a couple things when the shampoo fell over, knocking the shaving cream over, and hit him right on his head!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd I got nauseous immediately, and the thing is Brody didn't even freakin blink!!! darn kid, didn't even flinch!! but me, I was sitting there and tears were just falling, I wasn't sobbing but they just kept coming..and I felt like a terrible mother at that moment!! Terrible feeling....

Answer 18

It's too bad we can't add sound to our questions.  You really need some dramatic music to go with this one- "When good moms go bad"...DUN DUN DUN...

Funny, I hit my low last night too, when my son came down with a fever and I posted a question about it.  I got a bunch of those "OMG YOUR BABY COULD CATCH ON FIRE GO TO THE ER RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR"-type responses, and I actually started to question my ability to care for my son, or if I was doing the right thing by giving him Tylenol at home, instead of rushing to the ER, waiting for 5 hours, and having a doc give him Tylenol instead.

That, and I felt it was my fault he got sick somehow.  Ridiculous, but true.  With Corey, I hit my low when he was two, and fell off the step on our back porch.  He scraped skin off, from his nose to his forehead.  For two weeks after, he looked like he had a strip of bacon taped to his head.

I won't call you any names, but I must say this came to mind when I read your details.  "Two little monkeys jumping on the bed!  One fell off and bumped his head!  Momma called the doctor and the doctor said:  NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!"

edit- THIS JUST IN!!  SHOCKING PHOTO EVIDENCE THAT BETWIXT IS A TERRIBLE MOTHER!!

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii25/...

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii25/...

edit # 2- Hey, this is your question, right?  Aren't I supposed to get a complimentary thumbs-down each time I answer your question?  Someone is slacking off on their job...

Answer 19

My daughter fell out of the bed as well, and I felt horrible. I cried with her, it had never happened to my oldest child. It does make you feel really bad because you are supposed to protect your child. I wouldn't say it's a parenting low, but I felt awful about it. And you are not a terrible mother, it was an accident and worse things could have happened.  

Answer 20

My parenting low came when Ian fell off the bed for a 2nd time!! The first time was when he first started crawling and I immediately started using the ferber method to get him into his crib at night...then a few nights ago after he'd been up screaming all night because he's teething I moved him into bed with us. He had to have crawled over me and bam onto the floor...I didn't even wake when he cried! When Aaron scooped him up he was perfectly fine to be in daddy's arms. Aaron woke me up and told me and I started crying saying I would never ever let him sleep with me again when I was exhausted!!! It was terrible! It happens to the best of us though.

Answer 21

How come I always seem to come into these questions late....LOL??

Anyway, my parenting low came when my daughter was 8 months old, and had started to cruise everywhere. We had a glass coffee table, which was her favorite thing to cruise around. She was finally getting the hang of it, so I turned around so get sometime....and I heard a "BANG" followed by my daughter screaming. She had hit her eye socket right on the side.....I immediately started crying.

It swelled quick, and she had this enormous black eye for a week. People would comment on it all the time while out in public, so we finally just stayed home until it went away.

Edit: Ticktock, my daughter once stuck her fingers in one of my melted candles last winter. She kind of yelped, I scooped her up and put her fingers under water...I felt like a bad mommy too. I was standing right beside her. Then me and her Daddy took turns sticking our OWN fingers in the melted wax, just to see how much it hurt our little girl....LOL

Answer 22

I think I hit my parenting low when my son fell off the couch :-( ... I felt like such a bad mom ... and I never really did get over how bad I felt that he hurt himself when I was only a foot away!!!