When is a divorce needed?

Question

My husband and I argue alot, we have a 3 month old son. He doesn't trust me and I have never given him a reason not to. We are young I am 19 and he is 20. We have had arguments where they become pyshical. Please anyone help me

Answer 1

You are both too young to be handling so much at once, I'll tell you that right off without knowing anything else.  At 19 and 20, you are still just growing out of the late teen years.

If things are getting physical then you two need to cool off and seperate, possibly get some counseling if you want to continue to work through things, but physical abuse from either end is not the route to understanding or mutual respect.  Seperate now before one of you either hurts the other really bad, hurts the baby accidentally and/or gets arrested.  Keep in mind also that if your fights become extremely dangerous and it is deemed that neither of you are caring for the baby's needs or safety, the baby may be removed from the household.

Make the decision that is the best and safest for you and the baby, now.

Answer 2

Almost everyone will have one or two arguments that may become slightly physical....but if it is a habit or violent then it is time for a divorce.

I knew of a older couple who had an altercation when they were first married.  He came home drunk they argued and he hit her then after a while passed out.  She tied him up while he was sleeping and climbed on top of him put her knees on his shoulders and put a butcher knife to his throat.  She woke him up this way and told him that if he ever did that again she would kill him in his sleep.  They lived many many years together and had 4 children and were happy.

Answer 3

Its time for a divorce when your asking when is it time for a divorce. People only think about divorce when its gotten so bad that your not even trying to stick it out.

I believe that any relationship builds ONLY on trust. So, my perspective if you do not have trust have do you have?

I also believe that when a man puts his hands on a woman that is not in an affectionate manner. The woman needs to run like her favorite shoe store is having a 75% discount ON EVERYTHING!!!

I doubt it if your 3 month old son will remember your issues now. But eventually he will.

Do you really want your son to have a video playing in his head CONSTANTLY of his mother being abused???

HONESTLY, LEAVE. YOUR SON SHOULD BE YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY!!! DONT TALK NOW HE DIDNT WANT TO TALK BEFORE HE PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU. JUST LEAVE!!!!

I DONT THINK HE LOVES YOU IF HE PUTS HIS HANDS ON YOU.

Answer 4

when it becomve pysical it is over it is that simple.  Abuse from you or him is not exceptable and will not get better...

Answer 5

It is time to consider divorce when what is happening in your marriage is no longer acceptable for you and your child.

A mom reality- once the child is born your decisions will always affect him/her and sometimes you cannot take back the things you allow them to see/hear/witness.

Answer 6

you are young. i'm sorry to say that is a big factor. try marraige counseling. i am getting a divorce, have a 2 year old....I understand what you mean when you say you love him but have fallen out of love with him. When someone treats you bad for so long, that's what happens. you love him, car for him, want better for him, he's the father of your child, but at the same time, you no longer feel for him the love you felt before, the need to be near him. he's pushed you away. if counseling doesn't help, try to sit down and talk with him about what you both want. always keep in mind what is best for your child, and not him  

Answer 7

If you or your son are in physical danger from your husband, you should leave immediately. If not, then marriage counseling would be the place to start.

Answer 8

When you start asking when others new when it was time to get a divorce you are ready to get one.  I asked one of my friends that just went threw it like 3 months before me and my x split and she said if your asking you got an idea of that you want out.  I mean having a 3 month old adds a lot of stress so you just want to talk and see if you all can work it out.  Try therapy but ask him and ask yourself if you really want to work it out first.  And think about it when your not mad!!! And if your answer is no then its time.  Sorry and good luck!!

Answer 9

When you lose respect for one another/lie play games/ physical abuse

Answer 10

well hon first off it's not good for your baby to be in an a home where  its yelling or even hitting involved that's when it's time to take a break and think about what it is that you guys are doing. both of you are young, you'll be teaching your son that's it's ok to hit women. and you as a women must let your husband know that your not going to allow this type of behavior, because if you don't stop it this will only get worse and someone can even get hurt really bad. at least put your son first, after you both separate then you can try to work things out sometimes people don't know what they got until it's gone.

Answer 11

If he is abusing you then it is time to leave. Please dont let him do that to you. You dont deserve that and you are better than that.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 12

My husband and I are young also. I'm 19 he's 21. Were young married couples arguments happen. Go to counseling and see if things will work. If there's still love there then you should be fine.

Answer 13

a divorce is needed when you have a situation like yours when theirs verbal or physical abuse, or when one or both participants are not faithful. your son won't hate you if you leave he would probably resent you when he gets older for not leaving. remember children learn what they see, if you don't leave him your son will tern out just like his father throwing tantrums and treating his wife like c**p. in the words of Dr. Phill children would rather come from a broken home then be in one.

Answer 14

You are young. I was married at 18. It can be very hard to try to cope with the bills, a toddler and life in general at your age. The stress of life can be overwhelming and can really take a toll on your marriage. That's probably where all the arguments are coming from. Maybe you could see a counselor at work or find someone you can talk to. You need to sit down calmly and talk to one another about what's going on, but it sounds like you might need outside help too.

When you say physical it sounds like abuse. If either one of you is getting physical, you need to get help. Immediately.

If he's hit you once, he will hit you again.