Which do you fear more?

Question

Your baby turning out to be nothing like you?

OR

Being Exactly like you?

Would your partner/parents agree or disagree?

Answer 1

Truthfully, my fear would be if she turned out exactly like me. There is *so* much room for improvement....LOL

Seriously, though, I want my daughter to experience and do things that I never did/will. Back in school, I let peer pressure get to me, and I did things that I look back on and regret. So, I hope she is stronger then I, and able to stand up for what she believes in.

I also hope she is a very independent woman when she grows up. I will admit that I was extremely dependent upon my husband, and it took him being deployed to show me that I CAN make it on my own.

Okay, after reading that, I sound like a weak, can't-do-anything-without-a-man type of gal.....LOL. But, I also have a weird sense of humor, can laugh at anything, and am one of those ridiculously happy people. So, if my daughter turns out like me in that aspect, then I would be so proud.

Answer 2

I think this question is a catch 22, you want them to be nothing like you in some aspects, yet you want them to be exactily like you.  ex:  my daughter is 15, she is exactly like me when it comes to being sympathic, loving, considerate and forgiving, yet she is like her father who always has an excuse for everything, or has a quck response to cover his a$%^.  the better of both evils.  In my opinion.

Answer 3

Would rather he not be like me or his father. Unfortunately, my son did turn out almost exactly like me, which is not good. I'm shy, horrible in social settings, too sensitive, generally terrified of any type of confrontation, am an extreme control freak, and tend to be a loner. My son got all that.

My ex-husband would agree he doesn't want our son to be ANYTHING like me. But then again, my ex is an ex for a reason. My parents would hope Cameron is like me as far as patience, but they would probably want him to NOT be like me in general.

Answer 4

I would fear my baby being nothing like me. I like to think I am a good person. My husband would agree.

Answer 5

I would say im afraid more of her turning out to be nothing like me, my parents would fear more of her turning out to be exactly like me.

Especially my dad.  =/

Answer 6

I don't feer either of those scenario's.  I want my children to be whoever they are destined to be.  I may hope they have my intelligence and my husbands good looks... but I want them to be who they are..  Simple as that :)

Answer 7

being exactly like me.

Answer 8

i would want my son to be like me. i'd say he's well on his way.

Answer 9

I mentioned this in your question yesterday about flashing forward 20 years:  I have had horrific bouts with addiction and alcoholism, and my biggest fear is that I will pass that down to my kids, and they will have to suffer from it like I have.

Yet, my disease is what brought me to live the way I do today.  Through my recovery and the 12 Steps, I have found serenity.  I have found acceptance, humility, and I have come to be happy, joyous and free.  I have found a spiritual way of life that made it all worth it.

So, it's a tough call.  If my sons were nothing like me, they would be cold, heartless human beings, as I am extremely loving and emotional.  If they are just like me, they will suffer from an addictive personality, be it s*x, gambling, food, drugs or booze.  I can't credit myself for being "smart" or "strong" enough to come into recovery- I honestly believe that the only reason I made it, is because that was God's plan for me.  I do hope that if they do suffer from addiction, they will be like me in the sense that they do eventually find their way out.

I hope I am making some sort of sense here.  I'll shut up now; this is a heavy subject for me.

Answer 10

I fear that she will be like me when I was a teenager. I made my poor mom's life a living h**l and she always told me "I hope you have a daughter one day who is just like you." Haha, that might come true! I sincerely hope that she's more relaxed and laid back like her father. I tend to worry too much and can be high strung.  

Answer 11

i fear my baby turning out to be exactly like anyone.

my parents would tell me that i'm normal and so is my baby and i should get over it...

Answer 12

Being nothing like me and looking nothing like me. I 'm afraid my son will not have any of my features.  

Answer 13

ooh. I fear my baby being nothing like me. then again, I wouldn't want her to be exactly like me either. Id like her to be a little bit like me, only nicer. LOL I tend to tell people how I feel/ what I think, without worrying about their feelings. I hope that she will be more considerate.

Im sure my boyfriend would agree

Answer 14

I think fearing he will turn out nothing like me!!!  There are some things I want him to take from me, my artistic talent, laid-back personality, smarty pants!  The looks, well, he can take all he wants from his daddy...(I certainly don't want him to get my height, or lack of height, genes!!!!!)

Answer 15

I fear him not being anything like me, He already looks so much like his father (he does not see him nor support) and that kinda hurts hearing all the time, I know it shouldnt but I do it all alone, I want some recognition LOL

He's got my temper already ;) I think we'll butt heads when he's a teen for sure!

Answer 16

Well, I was a terrible brat so I would say being exactly like me! I really just want my kids to be who they are and to be happy. I hope they learn some things from me about honesty and integrity but really there are so many things I am bad at (singing, art, patience etc...) that I hope my kids have.

Answer 17

I agree with Betwixt in the fact that this is a hard thing to answer. I really struggle with the worry that she will turn out like me and even before the decision was made to have children I worried. I have manic depression ( bipolar disorder), social phobia, and a panic disorder. Some of it stems from life circumstances but it is hereditary and is all through my family. I am hoping by providing the best life possible for my child that if she has the chemical make-up in her body for these that it never gets triggered or set off. I don't know if it works that way but that is my hope. If she is like my true self- beyond the illness I think that would be great. I want her to have an awareness of others as well herself. To find joy in life, always be kind, and to give without the loss of herself. So many other things of course but I feel that these aspect are in my personality and she will be able to see that. Hopefully she has them. I think I am relatively a good person and would fear she did not get my good traits-lol I know my spouse agrees- when I am having bad days he always takes time to tell me a good thing about me- so even at my worse he stills sees good! Sorry so long- I tend to ramble-lol

Answer 18

i hope that my babies end up with the best qualitied from both me and my husband.  i want them to have my husband's sense of humor and math skills and physical coordination and calmness and social skills and i want them to have my ambition and organization and love of learning and history.

i would fear that they would get our worst qualities, like my anxiety and social awkwardness and my husband's forgetfulness.

Answer 19

I fear one or both will turn out to be like their dad. ;)

Answer 20

I fear my son turning out to be like his dad.  

Just being honest here.

I'm sure his father would disagree, but oh well.  

Answer 21

He already looks just like Daddy...he better have something of mine. Be it my Italian temper, my quick wit or my devilish grin. Who cares...he just better have something of mine!!

Answer 22

being exactly like me...I am hoping that my child turns out to be her own person with a nice blend of all the good things about myself and all the good things about my husband.

oh and my husband would completely agree.

Answer 23

Hmmm.  Well I'd be perfectly happy if she turned out just like me as I think I'm a good, caring, happy, smart, successful, confident person.  Or so I've been told, LOL!  

Since she's only 8.5 months old is high energy, very curious, quite talkative, loud, sweet and somewhat demanding (okay, quite demanding!) personality (unlike my laid back, quiet, relaxed hubby) I think she's well on her way to being just like mom!

Answer 24

You know, to be honest, I was one of those kids that you would see on Super Nanny when I was young. I gave my poor mom h**l. I still would want me children to turn out like I have and I will tell you why: I was able to learn from my mistakes and get over my hard headedness (if thats even a word) when I was young, so now as an adult I never really cared for going buck wild and crazy and getting into addictive habits and bad crowds. I hope he is exactly like me in the sense that he teaches himself to learn from other peoples mistakes. My sister, on the other hand was such a good child, never did anything wrong, but when she got into her late teens she got tired of being 'the good girl' and now we all worry about bad choices she makes and crazy things she does.

So if it means that I have to put up with hard times with my children, than so be it. Bring it on and let them get it out of their systems early.

I think my mom would agree. Out of all of her five kids, I have turned out to be the most family oriented and responsible level headed one. The rest are a bunch of crazies. LOL

Answer 25

I fear that she will be like I was as a teenager. I was a B---- back then and it was hard, but I decided to change and made it happen. Looking back, I'm disgusted with the way I was. I think about it often and hope to God she is nothing like that!