Why Has Adoption Become?

Question

about finding babies for parents who will wait and wait until they get what they want

Have we lost sight of the need to find homes for children who are waiting and need them right now?

Answer 1

because many people think that it will s***w the kid up if they are a different race than their own.

personally, i'm never popping out my own kids.  lord knows there are enough screwed up kids who will never get out of the system...i don't care about race, i care about raising a child that would otherwise be bounced around until it turns 18.

Answer 2

It has become what it always was behind the smokescreen.  The minute Georgia Tann founded modern sealed records infant adoption by stealing children, calling them "blank slates," and selling them to the highest bidder, the pattern was fixed.  I don't like this, and it hasn't prevented good adoptions from happening, but it's never really been about the best interests of the child.

And that's why I call myself an advocate for adoption reform rather than "anti-adoption."

Answer 3

people have lost sight of the childrens needs because of all these hollywood stars making big deals out of it. my wife and i DO take care of children in a foster care setting. it is a tremendous job and i have had a totally different look on life since we started. we cannot adopt all of them, but just taking care of them till their mom's get out of jail or rehab is very rewarding. i always make sure that they know i will always love them.

Answer 4

It hasn't.  It is about individuals, the same as having children through biology.  Some bio parents wait and wait until they have a male or female child, or hire a surrogate to have a bio child, or abort a baby with handicaps.  And some adoptive parents wait and wait to adopt a Caucasian child or a boy or girl and others just want to be parents, period.  Others are driven to choosing to parent the child with the most need.  It's all about choices.  We are uniquely individual.  My wish and hope is that more of us who have so much to give will find our way to adopt the children who need us the most -- one of the thousands of older children in the U. S. who languish in our disastrous foster care system.

Answer 5

I know it is not the parents' choice [& we shouldn't be falsely blamed] but agencies who are causing the waiting. Agencies hold the reins of the children adoptive parents will be allowed to adopt. Agencies have either lost sight of the need or never intended to help find homes for these children quickly because of their greed and god-complexes, imho.

To Fairy: I didn't not go to Russia to adopt a "designer baby". That is not true nor is it kind. I have no problem with celebrities adopting children and bringing this dire situation to the forefront of current events. I'm thankful that any child who needs a loving and safe family and home, regardless of whom adopts them, finds one.

Answer 6

Well if you apply simple economics to it, it's pretty obvious.  

There are people who want something, in this case a healthy infant as young as possible and they are not willing to compromise their needs.   And there is an industry that is more than willing to supply this infant for an astronomical price they quote as "fees".

Now I know how much my parents spent to adopt me in the seventies and even with inflation, the rate is significantly less than the going rate for a healthy infant today.

Personally, I think the industry has applied supply and demand into their fees and also kept in mind that tax credit that some adopters get at the end of it all.

And people are willing to pay it.  And people are willing to wait and wait and wait.

In the meantime, there are thousands of children living in foster care wishing for a home.  

Unfortunately, for many, adoption is no longer about these children finding a home, it is about needy couples finding a baby that fits their lifestyle.

It surprises me that the infant adoption industry is so completely unregulated and that agencies are not held more responsible for the "fees" they require.

And those children in foster care are still waiting.

Answer 7

I think people don't understand how many kids need good homes. they just want babies, but there are so many older kids that need homes too. i think people should just keep the child or children they are able to have or adopt. I also don't believe that foster homes are fair, children moving from one home to another. my aunt and uncle used to foster children until they became too attached to one boy, they just couldn't give him up so they adopted him.

Answer 8

some people don't want the kids to feel uncomfortable in an environment where they don't look like the family they live with. Other parents just want to have their dream child but I really think it's great if a family adopts any child that happens to come their way.

Answer 9

I think it's that sense of entitlement so prevalent today.  What gets me is how some (not all) PAP's will spent loads of time and money trying to have a child the old-fashioned way, then maybe try IVF then finally turn to adoption.  At that point, there are always people to pat their backs and tell them how wonderful and huge-hearted they are for taking into their home some poor little waif.  Come on...it's about them wanting a kid and adoption was the last choice on the list.  

My AP's spent 9 years trying to have their own before they finally decided to adopt.  I know I wasn't "the special chosen one."  They  wanted their own.  I certainly don't hold this against them.  They  never tried to pretend that they didn't spend those 9 years first.  It's just that it makes me sick when people act like it's some sort of act of altruism in such cases.

Let's face it, these are the folks who don't want a child who may have some problems already.  They want to start with a "fresh slate."  Plus, they want it to feel and seem as much as possible as if they had the child themselves.  

Adoption really is supposed to be about finding families for children.  But, there's a lot more money to be made by agencies in finding children for families.

Answer 10

I have a adopted son who is a different race than My husband and I

and he has done just fine he has  sister and He has never asked  why he is a  different racce.  He know his birth mom and does not want anything to do with her.  We have always open and honest with him.

Answer 11

I believe it it because some ppl prefer a designer baby and are ignorant to the fact that all children no matter what race, color or creed they are, wont be excepted my there family or friends. In my opinion ppl like that should not be allowed to adopt because if you sit and step out side if the box, there is no full blooded race anymore, we are all mixed in some way or another, and if ppl would look that deep into there family past and tree they would see this fact, and it makes me sick that they want to remain ignorant.

Answer 12

Not all adoptions are like that.  Many of them involve adoptive parents adopting a child that needs a home, regardless of race, s*x, or any other factor.

In some cases, the adoptive parents wait for a child that is similar in race, just because they feel that they will be able to pass the child off as their own.  My personal opinion is that they are depriving that child of their history if they don't tell him/her about the adoption.  However, that is just my opinion.

Answer 13

I think it's always been about that. Just now people are speaking up

Answer 14

I disagree.  I know TONS of people who have adopted.  The ones who are concerned with the look of a child adopt from Russia.

I know people who have adopted all sorts of kids, including those with special needs.

I think the number one thing is to find a child that is a good match for you, not just taking any old kid.  My cousin recently made a trip all the way to Russia (22 hour flight) to meet twin girls who needed a good home.  She had some SERIOUS reservations about accepting 1 1/2 year old TWINS when she already adopted another girl from Russia who is three now.  When she adopted Katie, she had all sorts of problems including drug addiction and some disease I can't even pronounce.  

She made a 22 hour flight with only an old picture to go off of.  Naturally, when she got there, she fell in love with the girls.  They will hopefully be arriving in early February.  We have a VERY large family and are SO excited to accept them into our family unit.

You can't judge everyone by a few jackasses who want to have "designer babies."  It happens.  My cousins friend was so specific about what she wanted her baby to look like that she hired a surrogate AND chose the sperm donor.  Cost her $50,000!!!!  She then rejected the first baby and started over.  She's a complete b***h.  Takes all kinds, you know?

Answer 15

I couldn't agree with you more.  I think the issue extends past adoption also.  It always amazes me how many people want to "special order" a child's characteristics - choosing the s*x or eye color, etc.