Why My Husband Feels So.......?

Question

I don't understand why my husband so much guilt when there is not thing he could do about it? Him and his ex have 12yr old daughter and the ex has full costudy of her. His ex and her husbnad are middle school drop out and spend all the mimiam wage money they make on beer and drugs and my husband's dad told him that his daughter being exposed to it and his daughter will be just like her mom. So my husbands feel bad about and talks about it every night hours and hours I told him to get costudy of her buthe he says that his daughter is dangerous to be around our 20mo old son 'cause she threaten to kill him before. He didn't see his daug for 22mo now 'cause his ex won't let since he refuesed to pay more than the court order. What can I do is realy puttign stress on our marriage? It bothers me that my husband always compares our son his daughter saying that our son will have a better life and is not just that his daughter won't have the same.

Answer 1

Tell him to stop whining about it. He made the choice to turn his back on his own kid and if it bothers him that much then he needs to do something about it.  

Answer 2

There is no thing you could do about it is his past and is his MISTAKE INCLUDING IS CHILD IS PART OF HIS PAST MISTAKES. Don't worry about it just protect your child from HIS CRAZY CHILD.

Answer 3

Maybe you should report them to protective services.And put the daughter in counseling.I'm sorry your going threw this.Good luck to you.

Answer 4

How sad! I just hate to read about these parents making these life altering decisions and all the fall out from it lands on the kids. Stop being selfish and have some compassion for that little girl who did not ask for the living situation she is in. if I was your husband I would feel guilty to for abandoning my daughter.

Answer 5

well I am sure he feels torn because he has a baby with you and is part of your child's life and isn't part of his daughters life it must be hard for him to have a child that he can't have with him all the time I am sure he is dealing with lots of guilt for what he thinks he should do and wishes he could do but has to protect the child that the two of you have since his daughter has threatened to hurt the child the two of you have He is torn right now, maybe he should report what he thinks is going on with his child so that the state can investigate and speak to some one on what can be done since he is afraid to have her because of what she said she would do to your child, she probably wouldn't hurt your child she is just feeling jealous but you dont know and you have to protect your baby but he also has to protect his daughter I would seek legal advice and if your husband cant keep her maybe a grandparent or other family member might be able to and get her out from her mother and the crazy life she is in.

This is a hard subject and your husband is the one that has to do what will make him feel good so he can feel that he has done the right thing to protect his child you just need to support him and know that he is in a hard place and this is not an easy issue for him place your self in his shoes and how would you feel if you were in his situation it truely is a hard place I hope you guys find the right thing to do for his child

Answer 6

wtf?!?!

If he is aware of these bad things going on with his ex wife then he HAS to do something about it.  If he feels the 12 yr old is a danger to your son then he needs to get custody of the girl and get her into some inpatient rehab/counseling.