Why are people like this

Question

my daughter is watched by my neices grandma. and she has been watching or has known my child now for 5 years. in the past i was suppose to pay her $100 but i made sure to pay her $150 a week. since my daughter has been in daycare and now public school i have not had money at all to pay. the kids are off for the summer, so my child is at her house. my niece came home yesterday gradma said to pay her her money. I told my sister gosh its not like i never used to pay her. its just that i really dont have it. i am a single mom. i pay for school and have other bills. I think that she should at least have some understanding. when christmas comes i make sure to give her money. why are people this way. everything should not have to be about money. cant they do something out of the kindness of their heart.

Answer 1

I'm not quite understanding your question.  If I'm reading it correctly -- you pay this woman 100-150 a week to watch your daughter. (Which is quite low for one-on-one childcare.)  You have not been paying her because you have no money, and she is now asking to be paid.

So... what exactly is unreasonable here.  She is your employee. You are not paying her.  Of course she's upset and needs her money. She has bills to pay too. She is using HER valuable time to watch YOUR child -- and she is entitled to be paid for that. (If that was the original arrangement.)

Answer 2

I undserstand about not having money. I have been very very poor in the past as well. But one thing is that is someone does a service for you and you don't pay... chances are that you don't get that service anymore. Not paying is not an option. You are poor now, but that is not her problem. You hired her and she needs the money now. That is the way the world runs. I have been below the poverty line and it was tough, especially because people don't let that become their problem, they need and want their money. period. That is the world. That is life. I don't think that she is wrong.

I am single mom too, and I am now going to univsersity for a better job... I would not have the money to pay a sitter on the wage I can make either. And no one is going to let me hire them and than not pay.  

Answer 3

Family is family, bottom line.  I'm not really sure why she is acting this way, it could be that the two of you had a breakdown in communication, and a few things need to be clarified.  Just sit down and talk with her about your situation, and the impression you were under, and see if you all can't find some resolution.  I understand your situation, I had to quit my job when I was 7 mos. with #2, because I could not afford daycare, it really is expensive with just one.  Best of luck

Answer 4

Jessica, you are correct...it SHOULDN'T have to always be about money...but when we choose people who are DEMANDING about their money, we have to lie in that bed we made (live with that choice).

Just actively search for someone else who might be willing to watch your child for free or cheaper (a relative/family member).

Answer 5

You should talk to her and explain that you don't have them money.  She may agree to help you out.  Who knows, she could have depended on that money in some way and when it stopped unexpectedly it could have caused her some problem.  When you want someone to help you you need to ask them, not just assume they're going to do it.  Just assuming someone will do something for you without clearing it with them first is kind of presumptuous.

Answer 6

did you talk to your neices grandmother about the money problems.  you can't just expect people to do you favors.  people do favors from their heart. it sound like grandma is not up to it.if you can't give her 100 you need to give something.

don't be angry at her because she expects to be paid for her work.  

Answer 7

so would she be staying home any way or would she be out getting a job with her "valueble" time?the way I figure it if you were paying more then the agreed apon price you could call it an investment into when times are tough. I don't know if some people did the math but 150 a week is not to far of the going rate that's 30 $ a day. If shhe agreed to 100$ a week then she should be glad your so generous.