Why do men abandon their child?

Question

My son's father does not want anything to do with my child still after 15 month. He has only seen him twice when he was about 3 months and i feel so bad because i blame myself. For a males point of view or a guy who is not in their child's life either why do this to your child? and what kills me about this situation is that his father abandon him

Answer 1

I don't understand how a 'Man' can abandon their child. Every time I look at my son (5 Months) it fills me with joy. I cannot imagine myself without him. A real man would not abandon their child. There is absolutely no excuse!

Answer 2

men don't abandon their children.

that person did.

I sure as h3ll did not abandon my child.

I can show you people who have, and half of them are women.

Please reword your question, as it is insulting and degrading.

more importantly, why would you want that guy in your child's life.  Move on, and look forward, forget that person, he is a loser.

Answer 3

Why do they do it I dont know, my father is not around and it messed up my life in earlier days. A child needs his father like a fish needs water.

I would say they do it out of fear or hate of the mother that they want nothing to do with the situation or enviornment, thats something you must research because it is a very deep mental thing that simple words can not explain, I believe its because they dont want the responsibility of caring for it, having a child takes away so much freedom and requires tons of responsibility...sometimes the father just isint responsible enough or man enough to do what he must in that type of situation...many people would say having a child changes ones life comepletely and theyre right...but its not the end...only the begining. There are many contributors to the factor of why a father is willing to abandon his own flesh and blood....would I do it? no...as long as it was mine then no. Im sorry for your situation but there are meny men that want children and cant have them...some even look for mothers in your situation and they are willing to marry and become the father that child has yet to have...good luck and god bless you.

Answer 4

That is western thing.  In Japan, marriage is something serious and divorce is almost unheard of.  

I have a 9 year old daughter but her mother died, so I have to take care of her alone since she was five.  

Maybe I remarry, maybe I don't.  But for me, it's what is good for my daughter.  

I think in America, men want to live such big dreams of having many womens and doing things they want without regret or concequence, but in Japan it's just fantasy we cannot play.  So, we get married and have our kids and even if marriage is bad, we don't divorce.  

Answer 5

I am in the situation with my son's father...My son is 15!

My son's dad used to see him a little bit on and off when he was little but he hasn't taken him in probably 10 years or more!

His dad had pretty much done to him what he is doing to my son!

I AM STOPPING THE CYCLE!!!

I don't know how MEN think....when they do think!

My daughter's dad is the same way...He has only seen her a few times and she is 12!

DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!!

I used to do that and thought that I wasn't good enough, so they were taking it out on the baby!

Or, maybe I ruined their life and should NEVER call them again!

100 things go through your head!

There are A LOT of men out there like this!! I don't understand it!!!

They are scared of RESPONSIBILITY and GROWING UP..Apparently!

Good Luck

Answer 6

Women do the same thing. It has nothing to do with gender. It's character. And today that is a premium is the nuclear family unit.

Answer 7

i feel men abandon there children because...they know they can have children there whole life as  opposed to woman. so if they make mistakes early in life, they can fix it  later in life with  other children.

Answer 8

It's unfortunate that they cannot see how great and perfect children are. They don't want responsibility and some are scared. Just let it go. Love the child and give him the best care you can. He doesn't need a father, but don't hate on the father either. It is best for the child for you not to worry yourself sick about it.  

Answer 9

bc they are scared and not ready!

Answer 10

I'm 20, and I'd like to ask my dad the same question if I ever see him again.  

Answer 11

Men like that are low life and make me sick.

Answer 12

They aren't men yet they are still boys in their mind if they would do that to their own kid.

Answer 13

Well, the his father abandoned him says it all. He never had a dad, so what does he know?  You are one of many, many women who go through this. You cant force him to want the baby but you can force him to support it. Dont just let him walk away free and clear. Who knows? Maybe someday he will have a change of mind. Good luck.

Answer 14

Men get cold feet when they aren't ready dont worry . If he does any thing drastic to you or the baby take him to court . Or you could go on jeremy kyle and try to resolve it xxxgood luck d.w about him i hope you and your son are ok x  

Answer 15

My kid's father only see's them a few times a year, and doesn't pay child support until he is thrown in jail and even then he complains.

They think with their winkie's and then when it comes time to be a man they chicken out

Answer 16

MEN do not abandon their children

Immature jack*sses who should have there nut sacks ripped off at the roots abandon their children

Answer 17

Mystery, Get over it and be grate full, he has made that choice now, you can bring your child into this world nurture it, Love it , encourage it all your way.

Dont waste your time on a looser like that, my mum and dad split up when i was 5, iv never missed what i never had, but RESPECTED my mum totally, as she done a great job on all of us.

Move on and enjoy ur baby, there is a lot more out there for you both too enjoy.

BE HAPPY :-)

Answer 18

As a man who has never abandoned a child, I resent your generalizations.  You got pregnant by a loser.  Looks to me like that is YOUR fault.

Answer 19

Unfortunately, these happenings sometimes pass through generations in families.  However, please consider everyone and not just your story.  I have two men within a stone's throw of my home who are raising their children alone due to abandonment by birth mothers.  Why blame yourself?  If you loved the man, thought he would be a good father, and planned the baby...you did all that you could.  Otherwise, I'm sure you would have taken precautions to make sure this didn't happen.

Answer 20

Sometimes men are afraid of responsibility, commitment, and  fatherhood. They probably don't know much of how to be a parent (which is the case for most people... you learn through experience though!) and the thought of someone looking up to them when they aren't perfect makes them uneasy.  A lot of people run from situations, instead of facing them.

It sounds like you had your child out of wedlock... which is probably part of the problem. Did he really make love with you because he wanted to be with you and that he loved you or was it selfishly driven? He probably didn't want to make a commitment in the first place.

There isn't too much you can do to change other people. You just make sure you are a good mom and make sure your child feels loved. Tell him about God... that God is the child's spirit father and he can look up to him.  

Answer 21

Real men don't abandon their children. You've mistaken.

Answer 22

Because they're first class pigs, corrupted by the plague of liberalism. They're not real men at all and their actions should warrant revocation of their citizenship and deportation.

Answer 23

Sweety, don't blame yourself.  Some guys lack that thing called maturity.  The father may never come into the child's life, but trust me, there are men out there that will fall in love with you and your son and will willingly except your child as his own (I know, I'm there now).  Hang in there and don't loose hope.  Your can't force a boy to grow up just because his body has.

Answer 24

they don't want to take on such a huge responsibility and are really just scared children themselves the sad part is that the child suffers the most because of this and it sounds as through he is walking in his own fathers foot steps maybe u should remind him of his own childhood and ask him to remember how he felt and if he wants that for his own child

good luck for u and ur child

Answer 25

b/c there scared and can't deal wit it.

Answer 26

Men mature much slower then women, he is probably still wanting to "sow his wild oats."

Do not blame yourself!

Do not talk bad about him in front of your child.

Try to get his parents involved also..grandparents love the grandchildren

and the grandparents involvement may stir up some interest for your sons father.

The larger the family unit is... the better your son will be!

Good Luck and God Bless you and your little one.

Answer 27

there may be a lot of reasons involved.if you are seeing another guy for example.he may not want to get into a conflict with anybody you are seeing.its not in everybody to raise children or show emotions enough to adhere to the principles of such.a lot of male animals have babies and abandon them.it really is human nature to reproduce.but i would have to say that you just picked the wrong guy.who;s to blame then?

Answer 28

i think its just a breakdown of society and of course not all men are abandoning there kids but it is for sure seemingly becoming a dump the kid off on mom situation more people are losing the once thought of ideal family that had a mom and a dad i didnt grow up with my dad my mom was a single mom and im fine im 18 and my dad lives in rochester and he still supported me when he could but in the past couple years times have been tough for him but still i know he cares unlike my older brothers dad who my mom affectinatly calls a peice of sh*t and she doesnt know why she was ever with him well he is 10 years older then her and she was young at the time had my brother who is know 25 she was like 19 but women are survivng on there own now a days and not needing a man except seeing them as sperm donors and i wouldnt care really if i ever get married i would love to have one kid when im lik 30 - 35 but i want to be financially stable for myself and take care of myself and never need a man for anything and get what i want and need on my own and i know i will be very successful and make lots of money as my mom says im her ticket lol i do admire my mom though being a single mother because its not easy but that just pushes me more to succeed because i know i owe it to her and your kid will hopefully feel the same way when he grows up and will realize what you went through and says thank you

Answer 29

I don't know why but all I know is that I would never do such a thing most men take good care of their children if he doesn't want to take care of his own child his loss because he won't have anyone to take care of him when he grows old. Anyways get a boyfriend that will help you perhaps the father has his own issues also men who don't take care of their children are not real men they are cowards and  Deece 1 you are so friggen right tell his parents cause grandparents love their grandchildren

Answer 30

well all I have to say is it is his loss, and forget about him.  Sounds like your child is better off.  I have a 10 yr old, and her father NEVER sees her, or bothers too.  I made excuses for him, just like you are doing, because his father abanded him too, but that is no excuse.  Just forget about him and move on.  He is the one that is going to regret it, not you