Question:

Why does she say this ?

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Me and this friend of mine have been friends for years, for the past year, she’s been going through a divorce (it’s finalized in less than a month). She has and always treats me very, very good. To me, too good for just being a friend, but that’s her. We’ve always played around and talked about dating when her life settles down. I’ve told her no problem, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not sitting around and waiting for her only, but I don’t pressure her into anything she’s not ready for. She’s had all sorts of men wanting her and asking her out, but she tells me she wants “substance” in her life, she says she feels I give that to her because we’re both single parents, and a lot of men who like her aren’t into the kids scene. Well, everything she does and says to me makes me feel really good. There are times when she is very affectionate towards me for no reason too. She loves to give me hugs and every now and then will kiss me. I like her a lot, but here’s the problem. Recently she’s been coming over to my house and hanging out. I have no problem with that, I’ve told her she’s more than welcome at my house. She brings her kids and they hang out with my kid, plays with my dog and cat, and nothing more to it than that. Well, last week, one night she was here with her kids and it was really late, and her oldest kid wanted to spend the night, she said they would if I didn’t mind. Of course I didn’t mind, so I suggested to her that her and her 1 year old daughter can have my bed, and I’ll sleep on my couch as to not make her uncomfortable about being in the same bed. She goes on to tell me that she really wants to sleep with me and wished the kids were with their father, I asked why, and she tells me that if we were sleeping the same bed together and her oldest son wakes up and sees her, he’d go tell his father (her ex)….I’m thinking to myself, “so what” he’s living with his girlfriend and her son has told her many times he sleeps in the same bed as his g/f. It’s really none of my business what her ex does, but is it me, or does it sound like she doesn’t want her ex to find out what she’s doing? Or does she not want to get him upset? I’ve never been married, so don’t really understand why she would say she wants to, but doesn’t want her son to see her. I told her that s*x was not on my mind and if he’s going on with his life, why can’t she.

So, what do you all think? What should I do?

We both work in the same building so I see her just about every day,,,there’s days when I just don’t want to have anything to do with her, but again, I see her almost everyday and she does treat me very, very nice. Better than other women do, so I am attracted to her.

But in your honest opinion, does what she said sound truthful? She does want to sleep with me, she acts like she does, but when it came time to doing it, I have to here a reason that it totally opposite of what her ex is doing. I’m confused about it, what should I do? How should I think?

Should I just sit back and not talk to her but for work related issues only?

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2 ANSWERS


  1. it's real simple she's scared . she's scared of her feelings for you and used the ex as en excuse if you really want ot be with her then wait until her divorce is final and all the custody arrangements made then start slow go on a date don't rush into sleeping together


  2. If she has kids that young she doesn't want them seeing her sleeping around. Maybe the kid's father lets them know he is sleeping around but someone has to grow up and think of the kids first.  

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