Why don't you homeschool?

Question

If you are a parent of "school-age" children and are not homeschooling them, why not?

I'm looking for honest thought-out answers from folks who have CHOSEN not to homeschool.

Answer 1

I will never homeschool my children after I know what it can and does do.

Never!!!!!!

Answer 2

well, my mom can't stand me at home... and teachers standing right in front of you teach much more efficiently as opposed to a parent or someone on the internet.

Answer 3

Well... we have done all three (broad) options: private Christian school, public and now homeschooling.

First several years were at the Christian school using Abeka and Saxon for math.  My kid learned a bunch, was in a very positive environment and had a great educational foundation. He was a happy kid.  He did exceptionally well academically and had lots of friends.

We did not even realize we were using popular homeschool curriculum!

But... the school only served elementary aged kids... so at the time we were looking to the future of a public mega-middle school as "the only" option...

We chose after 3rd grade to send our son to PS.  Why?

1) I'm not sure we had even heard of homeschooling (ignorance).

2) During part of that time, both mom and dad were working - I (dad) was on the road ALL the time and rarely home at all (priorities wrong).

3) We bought into the myth (even compared to a small private school) that mega-public- school exposure was important for (scary music: dum dum dum) "proper" social development (ignorance).  We wanted our son to be "prepared" for the mega-school.

In PS, our son continued (at first) to excel ... but (after a move to a rural area)... he was bullied by both teachers and students.  He was made fun of by both (one teacher in particular) teachers and students for his non-southern accent, being smart, being from Florida and other completely non-sense things...

He withdrew socially.  He started to downplay and hide any academic accomplishments.  He was getting peer pressure to become sexually active - IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! He went from having a very active happy social life to having no friends.  He would return from school and be completely wrung out - emotionally exhausted and then have hours of busy work homework to do.

He is also gifted.  The gifted program consisted of soduko puzzles and other busy work things that did not enrich but did add stress rather than pleasure to learning.

We had to do something.  There are no private schools close by.  At the time, that would have been our first choice. We had pretty much dropped out of the rat-race (fixing our priorities) and were / are now in an area where homeschooling is BIG.

We started asking around and researching (and yes, I asked the big S question - innocently) about homeschooling.

The more we learned the more convinced we became that homeschooling was / is the way to go.  

We started homeschooling in middle school and our only regret is that we did not start sooner.

Once again, we have a happy, social kid that is learning bunches.

So to summarize why we didn't homeschool: Ignorance, wrong priorities, ignorance.  Doubts about my ability to teach never entered my mind (personality defect of mine).

People don't realize the phenomenal opportunities open to kids outside the institutional box.

My son is moving faster through his learning / high school requirements than he ever could have at PS.  He has great friends.  He pursues all kinds of projects for fun and doesn't really even realize how much he is learning by doing.

He has a goal of attending an Ivy League school and I think we have found a way to start on this goal beginning next summer when he will be a rising Junior - Harvard Extension School offers a program that welcomes homeschooled high schoolers that allows a kid dual enrollment and leads to an Associates degree.  This will require  8 weeks on campus  as a rising Jr. and the same as a rising Sr.  The rest can be accomplished online.

I just don't think the path would have lead here at PS.

Sidenote: In case anyone is wondering about expense of the Harvard program - it is really not all that bad - plus we had the foresight when our son was an infant to (for actually very little money) purchase a prepaid college tuition plan.

*** Honest and thought out.

Answer 4

I think choosing or not choosing to homeschool is a very individual choice depending on the characteristics of one's children and the quality of the local school system.  We currently homeschool our dd but I am considering sending son to K next year.  They are different kids with different needs.  DD read at an 8th grade level in K and wasn't terribly social.  The school  did not offer grade advancement and there was no gifted program until third grade(and then it was just 30 minutes a week of not much imo). I was worried she would be turned off of school since the normal social fun of K didn't thrill her much anyway.  Homeschool has been wonderful for her and she has blossomed socially with all the group activities our homeschool group offers and has made a lot of friends.  Academically we can go at her level and it is very time efficient and frees up her day for lots of enriching activities.

  DS is a different child.  He is more social and would fit K better than dd did.  We also do not know many boys his age and I would like for him to meet boys in our community.  School is a good place to meet kids, especially in a small town.  If more boys his age appear in the homeschool group, then I might consider homeschooling him as well since I am already doing it with dd.

  I also would say that school might be considered if our life situation changed.  If I had to deal with sick parents or other concerns that took up my time, I would feel that I was shortchanging my kids by not giving their education a priority and would probably put them in school.  Likewise, if I ever felt burned out or was just 'going through the motions' at some point, then I might feel they were better off in school.

   I also know some parents who have stairstep kids(6,5,4,3) who are agonizing whether to homeschool or not.  I think the general chaos that prevails in their daily life and the fact that the mother feels the younger kids don't get much attention are all valid reasons why she might not homeschool.

  I personally think that the choice to homeschool or not should be reassessed every year because children and life situations change and what might be good one year, may not be the next.----

Answer 5

I've been a certified teacher for 23 years.  I tutor my children during the summers, but I prefer to send them to the public school during the regular school year.  First, we are very blessed in our community to have one of the best schools in Illinois; I am extremely satisfied with the teachers and what my children are learning.  Homeschooling did cross my mind, but I soon realized I would have to choose between my career and educating my own children at home.  I guess you can say I worked out a compromise... that's why I tutor every summer and monitor their work closely during the school year.  I believe homeschooling is a full-time job... and I cannot quit my job because, frankly, we like to eat :)

Answer 6

I chose to send my kids to a PS simply because I thought it was best for them. I'm not a teacher and frankly my kids drove me NUTS! I also thought since my son was special needs that I would need more help with him and would not have time for my older daughters education. She was starting  Pre-Kindergarten shortly after he was born and with the CDH and other problems we found out about at that time we were overwhelmed! When he came home there were 4 therapy sessions a week in town, 2 in my home and we had a home health care nurse 3 times a week and that continued for 6 months. I can't home school I don't have time for another job was how I felt!

Then my daughter got into 2nd grade and failed. She couldn't even do simple subtraction. We were burned out on the daily 4 hour home work sessions and ready for a change.  We tried home school and haven't looked back! My kids no longer drive me crazy and I learned that I can teach! We truly feel that home school is the right thing for our family and I have a ton of support from most of my family.

Answer 7

One reason parents choose not to home school is they think they are unqualified.  This is one of the biggest lies put out there by the public education system.  If that were the case we would have to have children in school from birth.  Do we not teach them to walk, talk, potty train, etc?  The second myth parents are taught to believe is the "socialization" myth.  Again, do we parents lock our kids up from birth to school age?  Not unless there are severe problems with the parents.  Again, socialization is something we teach our children from birth.  It is sad when we let the government tell us we are not qualified to raise our children and they will do a better job.  Should every parent home school?  Not at all, but it is a good option for some families.

Answer 8

If I may be presumptive enough to answer on behalf of my non-homeschooling parents:

Because they are selfish, money hungry, or just don't like children enough to have had them in the first place.  Best case: because they were not personally exposed to all of the horrors that await their children in the public schools of today, and are in deep denial about how horrible the schools are these days -- both socially and educationally.

Answer 9

I chose not to because I thought the school could do a better job. But I will home school this year, I found out there is no way the school can do a better job. The school has one care and that is for itself not the kids in their care.

Answer 10

I was homeschool k-12 and it is the MOST horrible thing. I absolitely hated it. I begged my mother to send me to school. Now I have the hardest time making friends, and in any social setting. I also feel much less intelligent than the normal person. DON'T DO IT, unless you want your child to hate you

Answer 11

Well I'm still a student, but I plan to at least consider homeschooling my own kids some day. I can only think of a few things that would make me lean more towards public or private school. I think if my kids are blind like I am, only more so (unable to read print with a strong magnifier) it might be harder to homeschool in the early years when braille literacy will be so important a skill to develop (I'm not very good with braille yet). I do know from experience however that puablic schools are usually not very helpful in this area, so I'm not really sure what I'd do... Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think it would be better to homeschool ESPECIALLY if my kids are blind like I am because I wouldn't let them fall through the cracks or set low expectations for them. I do plan on considering ALL options though, mo matter what the situation is, but homeschooling is definitely something I hope to do.

Answer 12

I did choose to homeschool but I know plenty of people who don't and have their reasons:

One has not yet figured out how to be able to keep the house they are currently living in without both parents working full-time; plus there's just the aspect of sending your kids to school is what has always been done so she feels like she needs a really good reason to not send them to school.

One mom I know is a great mom--but having had 3 kids in less than 3 years and sleeping problems and trying to get a business going, she feels she just couldn't handle being around her kids that much and doesn't feel she'd be a very good teacher to them, that their education would get neglected with her trying to run her business.

A couple of moms I know really want their kids to be educated through the French Immersion program where they live--there's no way they could give the kids something even close to it through homeschooling.

Another mom I know is such a people person that she's constantly busy and out and about when on summer vacation and truly feels that if she were to homeschool, she'd either go stir crazy or they'd be involved in so much, she'd burn out her child or not give her an appropriate education.

Most people I personally know who don't homeschool have simply gone with what they've grown up with and feel that to do the homeschool route means to need some drastic or desperate reason to do so. That is, they are quite fine with turning over the education of their children to schools.