Women What Do You think?

Question

friend of a friend tried to set me up (unbeknownst to me at the time) with a guy that is divorced with 3 children, has a felony, domestic violence record, and child abuse, and other things I will NOT mention here. She said I "deserve the best, and I would make a great step mother to these children."

I was in utter shock and disbelief that she would set me up with a loser, and a terrible man. What was she thinking????Why would She do such a thing? Your thoughts?

NOTE: She is a divorced woman with 1 child, and dating a single man with a good background and no kids. This is the kind of guy she is going with, so why would she set me up with a loser?

SHE KNEW ALL ABOUT HIM!

Answer 1

Wow.  

Maybe she thought you would be a good influence?

Maybe she thought he had other qualities (though I can't imagine what they would be) that made up for the other things?

Maybe she thought the kids needed you?

Or maybe she wasn't thinking at all....

Answer 2

Something very similar happened to a friend of mine. She is a very quietly spoken and refined older lady with adult children, and her friends are successful people in the entertainment industry. They share a common love of theatre, classical music ~ that type of thing, and have all known each other for years.

My friend was surprised that her friends suggested she meet this man for a evening out, but as her friends would be there too, she felt it should be OK.

The guy seemed fine to start with, but by the sixth or seventh drink he had become abusive and was yelling at people in the restaurant and making a big scene.

He had asked earlier what my friend did for a living and when she told him she worked as a counselor he launched into a huge diatribe against mental health professionals which he kept up all night.

To top it off, when he tried to insist on buying her a drink and she declined, he threw wine all over her and threatened to hit her.

Great first date! As you can imagine, she confronted her friends about why they would set her up to meet a person like this and they said that they were really thinking of HIM, not her when they set it up.

They thought she would 'a good influence' on him, and told her he'd been in psychiatric care for years as well as having alcohol and violence problems.

They believed HE 'needed' the love of a good woman ~ and it was just her bad luck that they decided she was the 'good' woman he needed. They even wanted her to give him a second chance!!!

Still to this day people believe women can solve men's problems of abuse, alcoholism and violence, without the men involved having to do any work on those issues themselves.

Of course it's not true ~ an abuser who moves onto another relationship without addressing any of the things that make him abusive will continue to be abusive.

I doubt I'd be accepting romantic referrals from those people again ~ you deserve better than to be considered the 'cure' for some loser's useless life!

Anyone can feel sorry for his kids, but HE needs to step up, man up, stop his bad behaviour and be a dad to them, not find some woman to do his work for him.

Best wishes to you :-)

Answer 3

Sounds to me like she was trying to set those kids up with a good person rather than set you up with a good man.  Was it wise of her to do it?  No.  Was her reasoning sound?  No.

Should you let her set you up again?  (known or not)  H*LL NO!

Answer 4

Either she really wants to help those kids out, or she doesn't like you much.

Answer 5

I think both Rosie and Irish are correct.  But I'm just a dumb guy so what do I know? :P

Answer 6

She is not a friend-

Answer 7

Backstabber ! Get a new friend !!!

Answer 8

Maybe she's thinking you are the best thing for those poor kids, not that this situation is the best for you.

Answer 9

Maybe she's not such a friend, or very stupid.

Answer 10

Maybe she wants to feel superior.