Everywhere I turn I see something about cancer. If I open a newspaper or a magazine there is always an article in there about cancer or about a person who has cancer. Since giving birth to my son almost a year ago, I have become obsessed with the fact that I may have cancer. I'm forever examining my b*****s for abnormalities, checking my stools , worrying about every ache and pain and just generally worrying that I may not be here to see my son grow up. I bleed when I go to the toilet and I've seen 3 doctors and they've all told me that I've got an anal fissue which is causing the bleeding. The health visitor told me the same and what they are saying makes sense as I only bleed when I have pain passing my stools. I can feel the fissue opening. I know that the bleeding is local and not internal however; I have read on the internet that rectal cancer can cause bright red bleeding. The doctors and the health visitor told me that it's the dark blood mixed in with the stools that I should worry about not the bright red blood that stops once I've stopped going to the toilet. They also said that I may have piles after giving birth.
I can't talk to my doctor aout my fears as I feel that they just fob me off by saying 'you're too young to have this, that and the other wrong with you'. I disagree with this as cancer can affect anyone at any age so I think it's wrong for doctors to fob their patients off.
I feel like I am going insane. My husband is losing his patience with me and keeps telling me that if I had cancer then I would at least have unexplained weight loss and extreme tiredness. He keeps telling me that the pain in my back is probably muscular and not kidney cancer or ovarian cancer.
I know you're all going to think that I am losing the plot here but I genuinely am worried.
Look at Jade Goody....27 years old and she has cervical cancer. I had an abnormal smear last year but my post natal smear was normal. I have to have another repeat one in 3 months time. This has got me worried now. She is only a couple of years younger than me.
Am I the only person who worries about these things? It's not just me I'm worried about. I also worry about my husband, my son and my parents. I don't want to die and leave my son without a mother.
I just needs to be reassured. I get depressed easily and I find that this comes and goes. In a few weeks, I'll forget everything and I'll have a good few weeks but then something witll happen and I'll start worrying again. My husband thinks that I need anti-depressants but I don't want to take medication. What do you think?
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