Would you date a disabled guy?

Question

So, my disabled friend has asked my sister out on a date. He's very funny, intelligent, kind, well-read, but following an accident confined to a wheel chair and has limited movement in his fingers/hands. She's accepted, but told me she's apprehensive about physical contact and not sure how she'll react to stuff like holding hands or being touched if and when it happens. This got me thinking and wondering what other females would honestly feel about it?

Answer 1

Carbon, sorry I am not a female but am disabled so felt alright answering this question. This young man sounds like he has a lot going for him and he may very well make someone a great husband in the future.  But to not go out with him just because his difference shows sounds pretty vain to this old fool.  I have been differently abled my entire life and have always done alright with the opposite s*x.  Have been married 3 times, had a lot of problems with drugs/alcohol when I was younger so didn't do any good in relationships, and have fathered 3 sons.  Your sister should have no fear and trust me this fellow knows how she feels and actually emphasis' with her.  Funny thing is both my wifes went to the doctor when they found out they were pregnant to see if our kids might have some birth defect.  But there was nothing wrong with the kids due to my disability not being from birth but later in life like this young fella.  Anyway I guess what I am trying to say is that your sister is quite wise to go out with someone different from herself as it can and may open up a whole new world to her.  My wife said to me when we met that we all have disabilities but that mine can be seen whereas lots of folks don't show.  My wife actually has become quite the advocate for disabled individuals and gives people h**l when they are parked illegally in a parking spot marked for wheelchairs.  Funny how things work out.  We were at a Stones concert and there were a lot of younger females, who looked obviously like they were boiled, that were giving me a lot of attention because of my chair.   The wife started calling herself a crip hag after that.  Tell your sister to be herself and that this fella will know if she if playing so to be herself and enjoy her time out. Who knows they may end up becoming an item, if not at the least they can both have a new friend which no of us can ever have enough of.  Sorry went on so long and answered your question for females.  Have a great day.

Answer 2

i think id be ok if the downstairs equipment worked : )

Answer 3

Good question.. I met this guy at the gym who was disable and he asked me out. He had one leg. The fact that he didn't let that stop him and worked out hard was a turn on but I couldn't go out with him. When he wore pants you couldn't tell. I would hate to date him and see him without his leg on. That would bother me. Overall he is an attractive man but I am not ready for that type of relationship.

Answer 4

Let me tell you that he would ABSOLUTELY be in favor of  holding hands, hugging and kissing.  His world is so limited and so few people even give him the time of day.  I have a friend who was paralyzed 30 years ago from the neck down and he has been happily married for 20 years.

Answer 5

I'd definitely date a disabled guy - if he's got a great personality then I'd find him just as s**y so long as all the equipment was working fine. She just needs to be aware that she may come to care for him long-term and if they have a long-term relationship how much physical care would he possibly need from her - and would she be able to make this commitment? She also needs to be aware of his prognosis. Regarding holding hands and other stuff - she should just ask him what he likes and tell him her worries as things develop- communication is the key.

Answer 6

I don't think so, not sure i want to spend my life looking after someone,tho saying that i may if i really liked the guy. Difficult to say without being in that position.

Answer 7

One thing I've learned as a homeopath is that disabilities manifest not only in body, but in mind. Stephen Hawking is an example of one of the most healthy people alive, despite his physical limitations. A group called Protection and Advocacy dispels lots of biases, stereotypes and myths regarding people with disabilities through education.

Women can attest to the number of able-bodied studs who nevertheless leave little to be desired in the intimacy department.

My answer is yes.

Answer 8

I'm being totally honest, I wouldn't. I think it would make things difficult and I would also feel uncomfortable about the physicla side of things

Answer 9

I would probably go, I have never dated a disabled guy but I don't see the problem with it

Answer 10

All women are not the same. It all depends on if there are feelings for each other. Tell your friend I said good luck, he'll meet the right one some day:)

Answer 11

It`s hard to answer honestly, not knowing what the situation is really like.  What I do know for sure, is that if my husband -who`s in his early 50`s-  were to be disabled or needed me to take care of him 24/7, I would definitely and gladly do it.  I love him more than anything and won´t stop loving him whether he can walk or not, I know that much.  

Answer 12

I can say I'm eternally grateful my wife decided she could deal with dating a "disabled" guy (me... I wear a brace on 1 leg... but the only things that don't work are below my right knee ;-})

Answer 13

I would date a disabled girl.  I used to think I might have to date a blind girl if I was going to get anywhere.  :-(

Answer 14

You would have to be comfortable with youself and you first.

It all depends on the person.

If you have a big heart, then yes.

If you are one to judge based on non meaningful things, then no.

Yes, me.. I would do it!..

You have to realize that everyone would be nervous around him, he is probably used to it. and most of the time a person who is disabled knows alot of average people aren't used to it.

Answer 15

At this point and time in my life - probably not.

:(

Answer 16

If the other can accept the fact that s*x will never be involved then why couldn't they be happy together.  Everyone has the right to be loved.  There is someone for everyone.