Would you say this is unfair?

Question

I love fastpitch softball and I've been playing for 7 years.

I am a dedicated pitcher, and my parents have supported me playing recreational select (very local).

My dad assist. coaches.

Well our team was very disappointing this year and we never got to play any tournaments or anything, which stunk.

And our main coach would cancel our tournaments and push his daughter onto other teams and she would get to play tournaments with great teams.

But he wouldn't give us enough time advance to let us do the same so I could play.

There aren't many local travel teams, but I found one that is based 30 minutes away from our town.

My dad said that it was a great idea and he called up and the coach said yes they still need another pitcher.

So my dad was like "Oh, you have a try-out on tuesday!"

And I was really excited and was really happy and everything.

Then this morning, he's like "Why would you think you have time to play club? You need to graduate with a 4.0 GPA and you'd be playing 11 tournaments this year!"

And I said, "Yes I already knew all of this, and it'll be fine because I don't have anything else to do with my time besides fastpitch and school, and hanging out with my friends."

But then he said that "No, I canceled your try-outs because we don't have time".

I'm really upset.

And he said that I can play rec again.

Wow, yay, I can play for a crappy team again! Wooo!

By the way, I'm 14 and this is my last year where I could play for a club team that does instate tournaments.

I get perfect grades and I help around the house all the time.

I, 99% chance, would have made that team.

Do I have the right to be upset or am I being ridiculous?

They were supportive last night and got my hopes up, and then just changed their minds this morning when I had done nothing to make it seem like I wasn't committed, willing, or able to manage my time.

Answer 1

Huh.  Maybe you should ask your Mom what's up.  In between him getting you a tryout and then saying no was time he and your Mom had together.  Maybe she is the one that nixed the idea.  Ask her.

Answer 2

it's clearly not a factor in whether or not "you" have time, more importantly, "they" do not have the time....30 minutes away, and not to mention all the other things in a workday that take up time...this just won't work well for the family.  sorry.  that's just reality.  the world does not revolve around you and your baseball...it's not like you are going to become a major league pitcher...let's just be honest.  i know it seems harsh, but, you have to take your own emotions out of the equation and think rationally...some day you will be forced to do the same with your own child....  

Answer 3

Sounds like someone or something changed his mind.  Was your mother involved in the decision?  Did she have a different opinion from you dad?

Expecting you to maintain a 4.0 for the rest of your high school years is a lot of pressure.  What do they hope to get out of that? You can get the same scholarships and get into the same schools with a 3.9 or even a 3.8.  And having one activity won't jeopardize your grades. In any case, no matter what you're trying to achieve in school, you need to have some leisure and fun in your life. You're only 14!

Besides, extracurricular activities are very important in the college application process.  If your parents' goal for you is to get into a good college, you need to participate in something. It might as well be something you're good at.  Leadership on a team always looks good.

You seem like a very organized student.  You can surely handle the extra demands, because you're motivated. Some of the top students in high school today participate in multiple activities.  The busier they are, the better they manage it.  

Point out these things to your parents.  Hope it helps.

Answer 4

If he said you don't have time then I assume he knows what he is talking about hon.Just hang in there.

Answer 5

I say talk to your dad and tell him how upset you are....you only have so much time left to play and you don't want to miss any chance....I would just tell your dad that you would like to play and you will do what it takes to get to play!!! See if that works and if not maybe he has some reasoning he isn't saying that he will explain some time in the future....so I say...yes you have a right to be upset but don't let that emotion get the best of you...talk like an adult to your dad and really tell him how you feel without getting mad...if he says no don't argue, that will just make it worse........Good luck!!! oh PS mention to your dad that maybe you could even get into college for softball by having the tougher competition........

Answer 6

Ouch, why don't you talk to him and see if he'll let you try it, if you can't handle it than you'll drop it?